ASTEROID HYALOSIS

Scars

Uhm..are you okay? If it's something that would open up old wounds, let's not talk about it Sky. I said to ensure her that it's okay.

She took a deep breath.

One...

Two...

Three...

It's okay. I can manage. She said offering me a timid smile. Sad Sky pains me, she seems like she carrying a load too heavy to lift alone.

Are you sure? I asked her and she nods.

I was a surgeon. Cardiothoracic surgeon to be specific. Expert on the field after years of experience. I graduated as top of my class, Mom and Dad was proud watching me achieving everything i want in life. I was offered by top hospitals to work under them but i chose to work under a charity for 5years. Still did not stop them until eventually i gave in. I continued working in the charity while i was employed. Everything was doing great for me, i was happy. I take pride for every successful operation i performed. I was always proud the moment i stepped out of the OR knowing i saved another life. She paused and closed her eyes, a tear escaping falling freely unto her cheeks. I wanted to wipe it away but she already did. Being the top surgeon has its flaws, i was acing and my colleagues were not that happy for me. One day, a 9 year old kid was admitted. I was paged to take a look of her condition, her heart is in bad shape. It pains me seeing her suffering and i offered to do it for free of charge since they were not really that lucky in life. That decision of mine was the source of misunderstanding between me and my senior. He argued that he would operate on the girl and he will charge same as the others. Stubborn as i am, i stood on my ground and pushed my rights since i trust myself more. The day of the operation arrives, i was already in the middle of the operation when her vitals started crushing down. All i hear was the loud beeping of the machine and the panicking nurse beside me. I recalled everything in my head, the tests and all but i was certain i made no mistake. One of the nurse rushed to my side, that woke me up and tried everything i could to save the little girl. In the end i was defeated, i lost her. My bloody hands were shaking as i realized the gravity of the situation. I killed her, she died with open chest. Her dreams are gone because of me, she has so much to offer in this world. My knees gave up and i fall on the ground still grasping what happened, what did i do wrong? Did i make a mistake? Did i overlooked something so important? The guilt was eating me alive and i'm losing the confidence i worked hard for. She is now letting her tears flow endlessly.

I'm so sorry to hear that Sky. It was not your fault, maybe her life was destined to end there. You are surgeon, not God. I assure her trying to bring back the smiling Skylar.

Do you know what's worse? It was my senior who kept the information from me. He badly wants to beat me that he put the life of a kid in line. There was an underlying problem aside from her already worsening heart condition. I could've save her but because of that guy I was unable to do so. She is mow clenching her fist, her eyes darken than it was earlier.

What? Oh my God. What happened to him? I asked now feeling the anger building inside of me.

He is now enjoying prison life. One of his subordinates was aware about what he did and because a kid died his conscience was bugging him. She said as her mood stayed dark. Though he paid the consequences, the trauma i suffered from it stayed with me. From that day on, i dare not to touch nor stepped in the hospital again.

I may not know nor witnessed it all but don't be hard to yourself. You've done your best, it was your senior's fault. I said, her eyes still weary.