Her Heart

Chapter 36

Carter's POV

It's been a couple days since the training. Everyone's been quiet. To be honest we're all just bored we can't leave the house we can't do anything.

Maya is coming here tomorrow but before she does I've finally made the decision to talk to Jayden. I'm sitting in the backyard waiting for him to meet me.

I know Riley by now knows something has happened between him and I and before fully telling her I need to talk to him first.

"What's up Carter, what do you need?" He asks as he walks into the backyard and sits next to me.

I don't even know how to start the conversation. I take a second to look at him. He looks more like Aunt Hazel. His bright big eyes looking at me makes my stomach churn for some reason.

"You need to stop being rude towards Riley."

Jayden takes a second and looks me up and down. His gaze hungry.

"Why didn't you choose me?"

"What?" I ask confused.

He scoots his chair closer to me, "You love Riley. Why couldn't you love me?"

I back away, "You didn't give me anything to love."

Jayden's eyes narrow, his expression shifting from something almost vulnerable to a guarded mask. "Is that really what you think? That I didn't give you anything to love?"

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. "Jayden, you and I... we've always had a complicated relationship. But it was never about love. Not in the way you're thinking."

He leans forward, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "What was it then? What was all those nights you coming to my house. Being under me. Moaning my name what was all of that? I tried to be what you wanted."

"Don't talk like that. I couldn't love you because you didn't make me want to live. You filled a hole in my chest for a few hours. Riley makes me forget that hole was ever there."

He clenches his fists, his knuckles turning white. "Maybe it wasn't love for you but it meant something to me, Carter. It still does."

Jayden's anger radiates off him like heat, his eyes burning with an intensity that makes my skin crawl. He's never been one to hold back, but this—this is something different.

"You think you can just walk away and forget?" he spits, his voice low and venomous. "You think you're better than me because you've moved on with Riley? You think she's going to save you from yourself? You're delusional."

I stare at him, my own anger rising to meet his. "Save me? Jayden, I don't need saving. Not from Riley, not from you, and definitely not from myself. What I needed was something real, something that wasn't about filling a void or playing games. You never gave me that."

Jayden's face contorts with rage. "You know what, Carter? Maybe you deserve to have that hole. Maybe you deserve to feel empty. You think Riley can save you, but what happens when your heart finally gives out? What happens when you're gone and she's left all alone?"

"You're right, Jayden. I don't know how long I have left, but at least I'm spending that time with someone who makes every second worth it. Can you say the same?"

He flinches as if I've slapped him, but I keep going, not giving him a chance to respond.

"And as for Riley, she knows everything about me—the good, the bad, and the parts that scare me to death. She still chooses to be with me. That's what love is, Jayden. Not whatever you think we had."