Her Heart

Chapter 6

Carter's POV

"Is this really necessary?"

Mom pushes me back on the bed and puts the glass of orange juice next to me.

"You fainted honey." She says. The worry in her eyes makes me want to cry.

I gently grab her hand, "I'm fine Mom."

This morning when I was getting ready to go to school I got this weird feeling in my chest. I don't really remember what happened after that I just remember losing my balance and I woke up in the hospital.

"I'm just tired I'm fine." I try to convince her.

She groans, "No you're staying in this hospital until we figure out what's wrong."

On cue Mama walks into the room with a white paper in her hand which I'm guessing are the results of the tests. She glances at Mom and I hold in the sigh that almost left my lips.

When she's looking at Mom like that it means that it's bad news.

"Oh let me guess I'm dying blah blah I need a transplant blah blah and it's still not my turn?" I ask smiling.

Mama slightly returns the smile, "You're not dying but yes you're still on the transplant list and it's not your turn yet."

Mom looks at her, "What do the results say?"

She sits down on the bed next to me and grabs my hand, "It's your medication they're not being affective anymore so the doctors are gonna up your doses."

I immediately sit up and let go of her hand, "No. Absolutely not. I already feel like throwing up every two seconds with these medication I won't up the dose."

"That's not something we're discussing." Mom says.

"No." I raise my voice a little, "I won't be like a robot. I won't be numb to everything."

"Carter this is not a discussion." Mom also raises her voice a little.

Mama holds her hands up, "Whoa whoa calm down fighters."

Mom glares at her but stops talking. I huff and fold my arms.

"I have an idea. How about we up the doses for only the important ones. And you get to choose which one."

My eyes soften and I nod, "Okay I can work with that."

Mama kisses Moms cheek, "Great I'm gonna go let the doctor know and you apologize to your Mom for raising your voice."

She leaves the room and I look at Mom with guilt, "Sorry Mom I didn't mean to lose my cool."

She grabs my shoulder and brings me into a hug, "It's fine sweetie, I shouldn't have raised my voice either. I'm just scared."

"Don't be Mom everything is going to be fine." I lie. Hope is stupid. If I know I'm gonna die then what's the point to think otherwise.

Mom squeezes me tighter, "I love you so much Carter."

I blink a few times to not cry, "I love you too Mom."

She backs away after a few seconds and immediately looks away from me to hide the tears in her eyes but I already saw them.

"Umm I'm gonna go talk to your mom I'll be right back." She tries to hide the sob the leaves her but fails miserably.

I nod and she leaves the room right after that.

I fall back against the bed and sigh. This is the second time I've had to be at the hospital in past 3 weeks. My visits are becoming more consistent.

It's not dying that scares me. It's leaving my family. I hate knowing that I'm leaving people who love me.

I look around the room and see my phone on the nightstand. I grab it and dial her number. She's gonna help with my bad mood.

Like everyone around me she answers her phone right away.

"Sunshine, what can I do for you?"

I smile, "Why do you assume I want something?"

Sofia laughs, "You always want something."

I hum, "I fainted today."

There's a brief silence before she speaks again, "Are you at the hospital?"

"Yeah and as always moms are freaking out."

"What did the doctors say?"

I put a pillow behind my back and sit up more, "I need to up my doses."

Sofia sighs, "I'm sorry sunshine. Is there anything I can do?"

"Come here."

I know Sofia and Olivia are usually busy and they try their best to come here often and visit us but it's been a while since I saw them. I miss them so much.

"I promise we'll be there soon." She replies and the way her voice almost breaks tells me she's not lying.

I smile, "Good then. Are you still in trouble?"

Sofia chuckles, "No I'm not. I'm at the store now actually getting Liv flowers."

"Why?" I ask curious.

"Because I love her."

My heart aches. Love. Such an interesting word and feeling. Too bad it's something I'll never experience.

"Good. I'll talk to you later."

"See you soon." She says and I hang up.

I put my phone down and slowly get out of bed. Mmm I could totally sneak out of here without anyone noticing.

Just as I start opening the drawers to find my clothes the door to the room opens and I groan.

"Now where are you going kid?" Garrett asks.

"Trying to sneak out." I reply and grab my clothes.

He laughs, "Can't sit still for a few minutes can you?"

I turn around and look at him. Ever since he got shot he's been different. He shows his emotions more.

"Nope wanna help me sneak out?"

"Do I look like I want to die today?" He asks.

"Mama won't kill you."

He walks closer to me, "But Avery would."

I roll my eyes but he's right, "Fine I won't leave."

He squeezes my shoulder, "Well I mean if I were to leave to go to the bathroom and didn't see you leaving then no one can blame me."

I smile, "You're the best Gary. Love you."

"Yeah yeah just take the IV bag with you." I give him a quick hug and he leaves the room.

It's awesome to have a godfather that's always on your side. The first place that I'm gonna go to is the store to buy a bunch of junk food.

I wonder if professor Valdez thinks I skipped on purpose.