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Past
1965
I have no idea what I'm doing.
But at the same time, I do have a clear reason why I'm doing this. I stood at the school bulletin board, staring at a specific poster for what felt like the thousandth time. This all started last year when I chose to hang out with Alex, my crush no one knows about, instead of trying harder to get my close friend back.
We became friends again, and perhaps best friends. Even Alex doesn't know I like him more than just a best friend. We sit together at lunch. We walk home together. Sometimes we even do homework together. He's all I can think about, as in, I don't have anybody else to talk to. I still fit in with the yearbook club, but I don't have any other friends.
And now here's the thing. I want to ask him to the Halloween dance, but as usual, I'm too shy to. Then I had the idea to join the Halloween party planning committee a second time and see if things get better. I had this crazy thought that maybe the committee will give me support on how to ask Alex out.
I stared at the poster for the Halloween dance committee, then, without hesitation, I grabbed a pencil from my pocket and wrote down my name.
The first meeting is Thursday after school in room 258.
Perfect. That's today. The next three hours of school weren't the best, and they weren't the worst either.
"Hello and welcome to this year's Halloween dance committee! Jobs are posted in front of you. Pick at least three jobs to sign up on the sheet, then give it to me, and next meeting your job will be assigned." The teacher up front said.
I glanced at the sheet set for me on the desk, grabbed the pencil, and started circling all the jobs I was interested in and finished the rest of the blank boxes on the sheet. Then I gave it in. There's no actual working on anything on the first day. Same as how the yearbook goes. So then I realized if there's no talking with others on the first day, then I can't get the support I needed.
I walked back to my desk and sulked because the meeting wasn't over yet. "Hey." A voice said. I nearly jumped, but I managed to turn around to face her. She had deep blonde hair with an oversized hoodie and brown eyes.
"Yes?" I said. "You dropped your pencil." The girl pointed to the floor in front of me. I looked to the floor, then picked it up. "Thanks," I said. She smiled at me. "You're welcome. Hey, what's your name?" "Ashley," I answered. "Ashley? Oh, hi, I'm Kaylan. I also want to say you look kind of down."
Really? She noticed me not feeling normal. "Why is that?" Kaylan asked. "Uh." I start to say, not knowing whether to tell her this or not. Then I remembered I would for the support. I should tell her.
"Okay," I said to her. "The thing is... I don't know how to ask my crush out. This is because we aren't an official couple yet, and he doesn't know I do. Like the dance. That's what I feel a little down about." I tried to talk quietly so no one else would overhear us. "Hmm." Kaylan said. "You're in luck. Because I'm in grade eleven, I have lots of experience. Want advice?"
"Please give me some." I replied. "Okay. So what you need to do is to phrase up your question before you ask it. Once you've known what you're going to say, then you're going to practice in front of a mirror to yourself multiple times until you feel confident. Once you do, you're actually to ask him out without having to embarrass yourself." Kaylan said. I blinked. Knowing what I needed to say! Why didn't I think of that?
