Unspoken Desires

nine.

Emerson Jenkins

Rivulets of rain descended the window of my dormitory. Most classes had been canceled today because of the storm. I had spent half of my day locked away with Cal who hadn't left my side since we found out today was a free day. He lay on my bed, half of his body against the headboard and the other on the soft mattress. With his arm behind his head, he scrolled mindlessly on his phone.

One of my professors loved giving quizzes every week so I had opted for studying for it. Plus, there wasn't much we could do here. "I'm bored," Cal finally said after surprisingly being mute for a while. If Cal is quiet, it should worry you. He's a chatterbox who never doesn't have anything to say. With me though, he's not afraid to just be quiet. We bring that part out of each other. A calmness. "Wanna cuddle?"

His words catch my attention and I turn to face him instead of the pouring rain. He has the biggest grin on his face. "No, thank you," I said.

Callum frowned, standing up and walking over to sit on the edge of my desk. "Oh c'mon, you used to love when we cuddled," he told me.

I place my hand on top of his and make a consoling face. "It was only because I couldn't sleep without being held. Honestly, it could've been Rowan and I would have felt the same way about it," I shrugged.

He gasps like I just stabbed him in the back, moving his hand from underneath mine. "So you're saying our cuddling meant nothing to you?" A smile tugs at my lips. He's so dramatic.

"Sorry, Cal. But I appreciate you for taking that role. You saw me at my ugliest," I admit to him, even though I'm sure he already knows.

He makes a serious face and stares at me for a long while before saying, "No, I think you always look that ugly." Cal smiles slowly as I push him away. He laughs at his unfunny joke and returns to my bed, plopping down on his belly. "I'm serious, Emmy. We need to do something fun tonight. It's Friday, we don't have class tomorrow after all."

I tap my pen against the wooden desk. What does he suggest we do? You can't do much at Havenpoint for fun. We could always sneak off campus but we only do that on special occasions like the first day of class. "Like?" I question.

Cal looked off into the distance like he was trying to come up with something. He snaps his fingers. "Oh! Let's have that threesome me, you and Mina have been planning for years! The rain will make it sexier." He smirks.

I roll my eyes so hard they might stay in the back of my head. "We haven't planned anything and Mina wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole. Or me." Cal is the one rolling his eyes now.

"Yeah, she's too obsessed with K-"

"Shush! That name isn't meant to be whispered around here anymore," I reminded Cal. He shook his head at my words. "Plus, she is not obsessed with that person. Mina's an independent bad bitch who doesn't need anyone." My words are true. I wish I could be like her but deep down, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm too soft.

Mina is soft but she's more independent than I've ever been. I strive to carry myself with as much confidence as my best friend does. Maybe one day.

"Well, that bad bitch needs to instill her perception into you. What happened to my Emmy who would stomp on girls' throats all the time and not take shit from anyone?" Cal questioned.

A smile curved at my lips. "I'm still that way. Haven't you noticed?" I was more of a bitch now than ever before so I'm a bit confused by his words.

"No. Back then you were a confident bitch. Now you're just a sad bitch. Two different kinds of bitches." He holds up two fingers and I tilt my head at him. As much as I want to say 'that's not true', he's kind of right. My bitchiness these past couple of months has come from a place of hurt not malice. Not saying I was a total bitch back then because I really wasn't. Only when necessary.