Rival Offline (Anya Forger x Damian Desmond)

Chapter Twenty One: Shatter my Defenses

Two chapters back to back you're welcome

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"S-Sorry, I don't know why I'm crying," Anya said, her voice trembling as she wiped her eyes. She tried to compose herself, though her emotions were still raw.

Damian stood in silence, his gaze fixed on her as she dried her tears. The intensity of their earlier confrontation seemed to linger in the air between them.

"Why... are you so upset?" Damian asked, his voice reflecting a mix of confusion and concern. "I thought you would be just as angry as I am."

"I am angry," Anya said, her voice cracking with emotion. "Angry that my precious friend Kokei, someone who I care about so much, turned out to be someone who hates me."

She wiped away another tear, her frustration and sorrow evident. "I didn't want to lose him. Maybe I was stupid to tell you the truth, but if I had kept it in, it would have just made things worse."

Damian's eyes widened slightly at the depth of her anguish. The realization of how much his actions had hurt her began to sink in, and his own sense of conflict grew stronger.

Damian felt an unfamiliar pang of conflict within him as he witnessed Anya's breakdown. His life had been a series of encounters where people saw him only as a stepping stone to his father, someone who was genuinely important. The armor he had built around his heart seemed impenetrable, crafted from years of dealing with superficial relationships and unspoken resentment.

Yet here was Anya, breaking down before him, her tears a stark contrast to the cold, indifferent treatment he was used to. The genuine care she showed for him was breaking through the defenses he had meticulously constructed. Damian felt an unwelcome shift within himself—feelings he hadn't anticipated, tied to both his past and the present moment.

The realization that he harbored complex and confusing feelings for someone like Sakura, and now found those feelings entangled with his perceptions of Anya, made everything even more tangled. The notion of linking Sakura and Anya, and finding any resolution or understanding between them, seemed almost impossible.

As he stood there, watching Anya struggle, Damian's internal turmoil was palpable. He felt a deep, gnawing discomfort as his long-held beliefs about relationships and trust began to fracture. The armor that had once shielded him from emotional vulnerability was now showing cracks, and he was left grappling with a new, uncomfortable reality.

The idea of reconciling these conflicting feelings—of trying to bridge the gap between the person he once saw as a symbol of betrayal and the person who genuinely cared about him—seemed daunting. Damian was caught in a limbo between his old patterns and the unexpected vulnerability Anya had brought to light.

"I'm sorry," Damian said, his voice softening as he looked at Anya.

She looked up, surprised by the sudden change in his tone. "Why?" she asked, her curiosity mixed with the lingering hurt.

"I don't know why," Damian admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "But I actually feel... sorry for you."

"Why?" Anya asked again, her voice trembling slightly as she sought to understand his words.

Damian took a deep breath, feeling exposed. "Well, how unfortunate that your friend turned out to be me—someone who hates you for a stupid reason."

"And what is that stupid reason?" Anya asked, her tone a mix of frustration and curiosity.

Damian's expression became pained as he spoke, "Well, the reason I try so hard to stay at the top of everything... is because of my dad." He looked at Anya with a mix of disbelief and anguish. "God, what the hell are you doing to me? I'm a Desmond. I don't talk about my feelings."

Anya's eyes widened as she processed his confession. "You deserved to have a friend who was nice, and not a total snob like me," Damian said apologetically, his voice filled with remorse.

Anya shook her head, her eyes meeting his with genuine understanding. "So what? You realize where your faults are, don't you? That already makes you a better person."

Damian looked at her, the weight of his confession and her response making him feel more vulnerable than he had ever been. "I... I don't know how to handle this," he admitted, his voice shaky. "I've always been so focused on maintaining this façade, I forgot what it meant to be real."

"Why are you so obsessed with impressing your dad?" Anya asked, her voice gentle but probing.

Damian's eyes, filled with a mixture of pain and frustration, met hers. "Because," he said, his voice wavering, "he never looks at me."

He paused, the words struggling to escape through the emotional chokehold he was experiencing. "My brother has always been the center of his attention."

The revelation hung heavily in the air between them. Damian's shoulders slumped slightly, the weight of his unspoken emotions becoming evident. "I've spent my whole life trying to prove myself, trying to get him to notice me, to be proud of me. But no matter what I do, it feels like I'm just a shadow next to him."

"Damian..." Anya said softly, her voice filled with concern.

"And at one point," Damian continued, his voice heavy with emotion, "I thought... what's the point of trying anymore? I let you slip past me and you beat me at my own game. You shine brightly without any worries about your father not looking at you."

Anya's eyes widened in surprise as Damian's words began to unravel. "The truth is," he said, his voice cracking slightly, "the reason why I was so bitter towards you was because I was jealous. Jealous that you had a family that loved you."

His admission was raw and vulnerable, the layers of bitterness and resentment peeling away to reveal a deep-seated envy that had been festering inside him. Anya could see the pain in his eyes, the struggle he had faced in reconciling his feelings.

"Look at me," Damian said, laughing ruefully, "I'm venting to my academic rival in an aquarium. How pathetic is that?"

Anya's smile grew brighter as she looked at him. "Well, today you're going to forget about your stupid pops," she said, taking his hand with a playful yet reassuring grip.

"Hey!" Damian said, his eyebrows furrowing in surprise. 

Before he could finish, Anya started to drag him out of the dark corner, her determination evident in her stride. Damian's expression softened as he looked back at her, a mix of bewilderment and amusement in his eyes.

"Someone who doesn't see how amazing you are is pretty stupid to me," Anya said with a smirk, her tone light-hearted but sincere.

Damian let out a chuckle, the tension of the past moments easing. "You're so weird, Forger," he said, shaking his head in mock exasperation.

Anya's smile widened. "Just call me Anya."