Tw: ED (heavy)
I squeeze the fat engulfing my thigh as I suck in my stomach hopefully looking in that reflection would make me thinner magically, I'd rather die then not be skinny. Nothing is enough no amount of purging with do it, apart of me would rather be dead so I wouldn't be plagued with these thoughts that consume me whole, each day I worry about meals, how to lie through my teeth to the people that care about me most. How to avoid gatherings and hangouts that involve food. How to bite the curb when I see mouth watering foods or smell the alluring aromas from bakeries and soup kitchens that I pass by. I remind myself the smell of fresh pastries is the sign of the devil making me eat, to gain weight is the devil himself. The impulse to eat. Is the devil taunting me. I must not eat. Oh how I wish, I could live a normal life eating whatever I want without gaining a single kilo or gram. So I could be beautiful for once.
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An Abomination
PoetryReal life diary entities of a crazed bpd teenage girl, going through the tough works of life. Hope my writing can let people know that at they're not alone.
