New Moon: Book 2

THE END

I felt absolutely hideous in the morning. I hadn't slept well; my armburned and my head ached. It didn't help my outlook that Edward's face was smooth andremote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the timeI'd spent unconscious, afraid that he might have been thinking about right and wrong againwhile he watched me sleep. The anxiety seemed to ratchet up the intensity of the poundingin my head.Edward was waiting for me at school, as usual, but his face was still wrong. There wassomething buried in his eyes that I couldn't be sure of–and it scared me. I didn't want to bringup last night, but I wasn't sure if avoiding the subject would be worse.He opened my door for me."How do you feel?""Perfect," I lied, cringing as the sound of the slamming door echoed in my head.We walked in silence, he shortening his stride to match mine. There were so many questionsI wanted to ask, but most of those questions would have to wait, because chey were forAlice: How was Jasper this morning? What had they said when I was gone? What hadRosalie said? And most importantly, what could she see happening now in her strange,imperfect visions of the future? Could she guess what Edward was thinking, why he was sogloomy? Was there a foundation for the tenuous, instinctive fears that I couldn't seem toshake?The morning passed slowly. I was impatient to see Alice, though I wouldn't be able to reallytalk to her with Edward there. Edward remained aloof. Occasionally he would ask about myarm, and I would lie.Alice usually beat us to lunch; she didn't have to keep pace with a sloth like me. But shewasn't at the table, waiting with a tray of food she wouldn't eat.Edward didn't say anything about her absence. I wondered to myself if her class was runninglate–until I saw Conner and Ben, who were in her fourth hour French class."Where's Alice?" I asked Edward anxiously.He looked at the granola bar he was slowly pulverizing between his fingertips while heanswered. "She's with Jasper.""Is he okay?""He's gone away for a while.""What? Where?"Edward shrugged. "Nowhere in particular.""And Alice, too," I said with quiet desperation. Of course, if Jasper needed her, she wouldgo."Yes. She'll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali."Denali was where the one other band of unique vampires–good ones like the Cullens–lived.Tanya and her family. I'd heard of them now and again. Edward had run to them last winterwhen my arrival had made Forks difficult for him. Laurent, the most civilized member ofJames's little coven, had gone there rather than siding with James against the Cullens. Itmade sense for Alice to encourage Jasper to go there.I swallowed, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat. The guilt made my head bowand my shoulders slump. I'd run them out of their home, just like Rosalie and Emmett. I wasa plague."Is your arm bothering you?" he asked solicitously."Who cares about my stupid arm?" I muttered in disgust.He didn't answer, and I put my head down on the table.By the end of the day, the silence was becoming ridiculous. I didn't want to be the one tobreak it, but apparently that was my only choice if I ever wanted him to talk to me again."You'll come over later tonight?" I asked as he walked me–silently–to my truck. He alwayscame over."Later?"It pleased me that he seemed surprised. "I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton toget yesterday off.""Oh," he murmured."So you'll come over when I'm home, though, right?" I hated that I felt suddenly unsureabout this."If you want me to.""I always want you," I reminded him, with perhaps a little more intensity than theconversation required.I expected he would laugh, or smile, or react somehow to my words."All right, then," he said indifferently.He kissed my forehead again before he shut the door on me. Then he turned his back andloped gracefully toward his car.I was able to drive out of the parking lot before the panic really hit, but I washyperventilating by the time I got to Newton's.He just needed time, I told myself. He would get over this. Maybe he was sad because hisfamily was disappearing. But Alice and Jasper would come back soon, and Rosalie andEmmett, too. If it would help, I would stay away from the big white house on the river–I'dnever set foot there again. That didn't matter. I'd still see Alice at school. She would have tocome back for school, right? And she was at my place all the time anyway. She wouldn'twant to hurt Charlie's feelings by staying away.No doubt I would also run into Carlisle with regularity–in the emergency room.After all, what had happened last night was nothing. Nothing had happened. So I felldown–that was the story of my life. Compared to last spring, it seemed especiallyunimportant. James had left me broken and nearly dead from loss of blood–and yet Edwardhad handled the interminable weeks in the hospital much better than this. Was it because,this time, it wasn't an enemy he'd had to protect me from? Because it was his brother?Maybe it would be better if he took me away, rather than his family being scattered. I grewslightly less depressed as I considered all the uninterrupted alone time. If he could just lastthrough the school year, Charlie wouldn't be able to object. We could go away to college, orpretend that's what we were doing, like Rosalie and Emmett this year. Surely Edward couldwait a year. What was a year to an immortal? It didn't even seem like that much to me.I was able to talk myself into enough composure to handle getting out of the truck andwalking to the store. Mike Newton had beaten me here today, and he smiled and wavedwhen I came in. I grabbed my vest, nodding vaguely in his direction. I was still imaginingpleasant scenarios that consisted of me running away with Edward to various exotic locales.Mike interrupted my fantasy. "How was your birthday?""Ugh," I mumbled. "I'm glad it's over."Mike looked at me from the corners of his eyes like I was crazy.Work dragged. I wanted to see Edward again, praying that he would be past the worst ofthis, whatever it was exactly, by the time I saw him again. It's nothing, I told myself over andover again. Everything will go back to normal.The relief I felt when I turned onto my street and saw Edward's silver car parked in front ofmy house was an overwhelming, heady thing. And it bothered me deeply that it should bethat way.I hurried through the front door, calling out before I was completely inside."Dad? Edward?"As I spoke, I could hear the distinctive theme music from ESPN's SportsCenter coming fromthe living room."In here," Charlie called.I hung my raincoat on its peg and hurried around the corner.Edward was in the armchair, my father on the sofa. Both had their eyes trained on the TV.The focus was normal for my father. Not so much for Edward."Hi," I said weakly."Hey, Bella," my father answered, eyes never moving. "We just had cold pizza. I think it'sstill on the table.""Okay."I waited in the doorway. Finally, Edward looked over at me with a polite smile. "I'll be rightbehind you," he promised. His eyes strayed back to the TV.I stared for another minute, shocked. Neither one seemed to notice. I could feel something,panic maybe, building up in my chest. I escaped to the kitchen.The pizza held no interest for me. I sat in my chair, pulled my knees up, and wrapped myarms around them. Something was very wrong, maybe more wrong than I'd realized. Thesounds of male bonding and banter continued from the TV set.I tried to get control of myself, to reason with myself.What's the worst that can happen? I flinched. That was definitely the wrong question to ask.I was having a hard time breathing right.Okay, I thought again, what's the worst I can live through? I didn't like that question somuch, either. But I thought through the possibilities I'd considered today.Staying away from Edward's family. Of course, he wouldn't expect Alice to be part of that.But if Jasper was off limits, that would lessen the time I could have with her. I nodded tomyself–I could live with that.Or going away. Maybe he wouldn't want to wait till the end of the school year, maybe itwould have to be now.In front of me, on the table, my presents from Charlie and Renee were where I had left them,the camera I hadn't had the chance to use at the Cullens' sitting beside the album. I touched the pretty cover of the scrapbook my mother had given me, and sighed, thinking of Renee.Somehow, living without her for as long as I had did not make the idea of a more permanentseparation easier. And Charlie would be left all alone here, abandoned. They would both beso hurt...But we'd come back, right? We'd visit, of course, wouldn't we?I couldn't be certain about the answer to that.I leaned my cheek against my knee, staring at the physical tokens of my parents' love. I'dknown this path I'd chosen was going to be hard. And, after all, I was thinking about theworst-case scenario–the very worst I could live through.I touched the scrapbook again, flipping the front cover over. Little metal corners werealready in place to hold the first picture. It wasn't a half-bad idea, to make some record of mylife here. I felt a strange urge to get started. Maybe I didn't have that long left in Forks.I toyed with the wrist strap on the camera, wondering about the first picture on the roll.Could it possibly turn out anything close to the original? I doubted it. But he didn't seemworried that it would be blank. I chuckled to myself, thinking of his carefree laughter lastnight. The chuckle died away. So much had changed, and so abruptly. It made me feel a littlebit dizzy, like I was standing on an edge, a precipice somewhere much too high.I didn't want to think about that anymore. I grabbed the camera and headed up the stairs.My room hadn't really changed all that much in the seventeen years since my mother hadbeen here. The walls were still light blue, the same yellowed lace curtains hung in front ofthe window. There was a bed, rather than a crib, but she would recognize the quilt drapeduntidily over the top–it had been a gift ROM Gran.Regardless, I snapped a picture of my room. There wasn't much else I could do tonight–itwas too dark outside–and the feeling was growing stronger, it was almost a compulsion now.I would record everything about Forks before I had to leave it.Change was coming. I could feel it. It wasn't a pleasant prospect, not when life was perfectthe way it was.I took my time coming back down the stairs, camera in hand, trying to ignore the butterfliesin my stomach as I thought of the strange distance I didn't want to see in Edward's eyes. Hewould get over this. Probably he was worried that I would be upset when he asked me toleave. I would let him work through it without meddling. And I would be prepared when heasked.I had the camera ready as I leaned around the corner, being sneaky. I was sure there was nochance that I had caught Edward by surprise, but he didn't look up. I felt a brief shiver assomething icy twisted in my stomach; I ignored that and took the picture.They both looked at me then. Charlie frowned. Edward's face was empty, expressionless."What are you doing, Bella?" Charlie complained."Oh, come on." I pretended to smile as I went to sit on the floor in front of the sofa whereCharlie lounged. "You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents. I haveto get to work before she can get her feelings hurt.""Why are you taking pictures of me, though?" he grumbled."Because you're so handsome," I replied, keeping it light. "And because, since you bought thecamera, you're obligated to be one of my subjects."He mumbled something unintelligible."Hey, Edward," I said with admirable indifference. "Take one of me and my dad together."I threw the camera toward him, carefully avoiding his eyes, and knelt beside the arm of thesofa where Charlie's face was. Charlie sighed."You need to smile, Bella," Edward murmured.I did my best, and the camera flashed."Let me take one of you kids," Charlie suggested. I knew he was just trying to shift thecamera's focus from himself.Edward stood and lightly tossed him the camera.I went to stand beside Edward, and the arrangement felt formal and strange to me. He putone hand lightly on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm more securely around his waist. Iwanted to look at his face, but I was afraid to."Smile, Bella," Charlie reminded me again.I took a deep breath and smiled. The flash blinded me."Enough pictures for tonight," Charlie said then, shoving the camera into a crevice of thesofa cushions and rolling over it. "You don't have to use the whole roll now."Edward dropped his hand from my shoulder and twisted casually out of my arm. He sat backdown in the armchair.I hesitated, and then went to sit against the sofa again. I was suddenly so frightened that myhands were shaking. I pressed them into my stomach to hide them, put my chin on my kneesand stared at the TV screen in front of me, seeing nothing.When the show ended, I hadn't moved an inch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward stand."I'd better get home," he said.Charlie didn't look up from the commercial. "See ya."I got awkwardly to my feet–I was stiff from sitting so still–and followed Edward out thefront door. He went straight to his car."Will you stay?" I asked, no hope in my voice.I expected his answer, so it didn't hurt as much."Not tonight."I didn't ask for a reason.He got in his car and drove away while I stood there, unmoving. I barely noticed that it wasraining. I waited, without knowing what I waited for, until the door opened behind me."Bella, what are you doing?" Charlie asked, surprised to see me standing there alone anddripping."Nothing." I turned and trudged back to the house.It was a long night, with little in the way of rest.I got up as soon as there was a faint light outside my window. I dressed for schoolmechanically, waiting for the clouds to brighten. When I had eaten a bowl of cereal, Idecided that it was light enough for pictures. I took one of my truck, and then the front ofthe house. I turned and snapped a few of the forest by Charlie's house. Funny how it didn'tseem sinister like it used to. I realized I would miss this–the green, the timelessness, themystery of the woods. All of it.I put the camera in my school bag before I left. I tried to concentrate on my new projectrather than the fact that Edward apparently hadn't gotten over things during the night.Along with the fear, I was beginning to feel impatience. How long could this last?It lasted through the morning. He walked silently beside me, never seeming to actually lookat me. I tried to concentrate on my classes, but not even English could hold my attention. Mr.Berty had to repeat his question about Lady Capulet twice before I realized he was talking tome. Edward whispered the correct answer under his breath and then went back to ignoringme.At lunch, the silence continued. I felt like I was going to start screaming at any moment, so,to distract myself, I leaned across the table's invisible line and spoke to Jessica."Hey, Jess?""What's up, Bella?""Could you do me a favor?" I asked, reaching into my bag. "My mom wants me to get somepictures of my friends for a scrapbook. So, take some pictures of everybody, okay?"I handed her the camera."Sure," she said, grinning, and turned to snap a candid shot of Mike with his mouth full.A predictable picture war ensued. I watched them hand the camera around the table, gigglingand flirting and complaining about being on film. It seemed strangely childish. Maybe I justwasn't in the mood for normal human behavior today."Uh-oh," Jessica said apologetically as she returned the camera. "I think we used all yourfilm.""That's okay. I think I already got pictures of everything else I needed."After school, Edward walked me back to the parking lot in silence. I had to work again, andfor once, I was glad. Time with me obviously wasn't helping things. Maybe time alone wouldbe better.I dropped my film off at the Thriftway on my way to Newton's, and then picked up thedeveloped pictures after work. At home, I said a brief hi to Charlie, grabbed a granola barfrom the kitchen, and hurried up to my room with the envelope of photographs tucked undermy arm.I sat in the middle of my bed and opened the envelope with wary curiosity. Ridiculously, Istill half expected the first print to be a blank.When I pulled it out, I gasped aloud. Edward looked just as beautiful as he did in real life,staring at me out of the picture with the warm eyes I'd missed for the past few days. It wasalmost uncanny that anyone could look so... so... beyond description. No thousand wordscould equal this picture.I flipped through the rest of the stack quickly once, and then laid three of them out on thebed side by side.The first was the picture of Edward in the kitchen, his warm eyes touched with tolerantamusement. The second was Edward and Charlie, watching ESPN. The difference inEdward's expression was severe. His eyes were careful here, reserved. Still breathtakinglybeautiful, but his face was colder, more like a sculpture, less alive.The last was the picture of Edward and me standing awkwardly side by side. Edward's facewas the same as the last, cold and statue-like. But that wasn't the most troubling part of this photograph. The contrast between the two of us was painful. He looked like a god. I lookedvery average, even for a human, almost shamefully plain. I flipped the picture over with afeeling of disgust.Instead of doing my homework, I stayed up to put my pictures into the album. With aballpoint pen I scrawled captions under all the pictures, the names and the dates. I got to thepicture of Edward and me, and, without looking at it too long, I folded it in half and stuck itunder the metal tab, Edward-side up.When I was done, I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope and penned a longthank-you letter to Renee.Edward still hadn't come over. I didn't want to admit that he was the reason I'd stayed up solate, but of course he was. I tried to remember the last time he'd stayed away like this,without an excuse, a phone call... He never had.Again, I didn't sleep well.School followed the silent, frustrating, terrifying pattern of the last two days. I felt reliefwhen I saw Edward waiting for me in the parking lot, but it faded quickly. He was nodifferent, unless maybe more remote.It was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess. My birthday already felt like thedistant past. If only Alice would come back. Soon. Before this got any more out of hand.But I couldn't count on that. I decided that, if I couldn't talk to him today, really talk, then Iwas going to see Carlisle tomorrow. I had to do something.After school, Edward and I were going to talk it out, I promised myself. I wasn't acceptingany excuses.He walked me to my truck, and I steeled myself to make my demands."Do you mind if I come over today?" he asked before we got to the truck, beating me to thepunch."Of course not.""Now?" he asked again, opening my door for me."Sure," I kept my voice even, though I didn't like the urgency in his tone. "I was just going todrop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there."He looked at the fat envelope on the passenger seat. Suddenly, he reached over me andsnagged it."I'll do it," he said quietly. "And I'll still beat you there." He smiled my favorite crooked smile, but it was wrong. It didn't reach his eyes."Okay," I agreed, unable to smile back. He shut the door, and headed toward his car.He did beat me home. He was parked in Charlie's spot when I pulled up in front of thehouse. That was a bad sign. He didn't plan to stay, then. I shook my head and took a deepbreath, trying to locate some courage.He got out of his car when I stepped out of the truck, and came to meet me. He reached totake my book bag from me. That was normal. But he shoved it back onto the seat. That wasnot normal."Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand.I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. Ididn't like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again.But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, wherethe forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what Iwanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic chokingme?We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail–Icould still see the house.Some walk.Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable."Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt.He took a deep breath."Bella, we're leaving."I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I stillhad to ask."Why now? Another year–""Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely passfor thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace.Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what hemeant.He stared back coldly.With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood."When you say we–," I whispered."I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any signof impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak."Okay," I said. "I'll come with you.""You can't, Bella. Where we're going... It's not the right place for you.""Where you are is the right place for me.""I'm no good for you, Bella.""Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging."You're the very best part of my life.""My world is not for you," he said grimly."What happened with Jasper–that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!""You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected.""You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay–""As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me."No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out ofme–somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care,Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you–it's yours already!"He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouthtwisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder–like theliquid gold had frozen solid."Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his coldeyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them fortheir real intent."You... don't... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placedin that order."No."I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were liketopaz–hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yetnowhere in rheir bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken."Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded.It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn'tmake any sense.He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you... in a way.But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. BecauseI'm... tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back,and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, andI'm sorry for that.""Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me,trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. Healready had."You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had noargument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him.I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his facewiped clean of all emotion. I tried again."If... that's what you want."He nodded once.My whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck."I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," he said.I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face inresponse. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serenemask."Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning downinto mine with an intensity that was overwhelming."Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understandwhat I'm saying?"I nodded helplessly.His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you.Take care of yourself–for him."I nodded again. "I will," I whispered.He seemed to relax just a little."And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last timeyou'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You cango on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hearthe blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away.He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human–your memory is no more than a sieve. Timeheals all wounds for your kind.""And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like Iwas choking."Well"–he hesitated for a short second–"I won't forget. But my kind... we're very easilydistracted." He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."The plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyondnoticing anything."Alice isn't coming back," I realized. I don't know how he heard me–the words made nosound–but he seemed to understand.He shook his head slowly, always watching my face."No. They're all gone. I staved behind to tell you goodbye.""Alice is gone?" My voice was blank with disbelief."She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in my head, and I heard thedoctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays. You can see it's aclean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. That's good. It will healmore easily, more quickly.I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare."Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice."Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry meforward.I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists andpinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead forthe briefest instant. My eyes closed."Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine mapleshuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.He was gone.With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest.The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves werestill again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keepmoving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.Love, life, meaning... over.I walked and walked. Time made no sense as I pushed slowly through the thickundergrowth. It was hours passing, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozenbecause the forest looked the same no matter how far I went. I started to worry that I wastraveling in a circle, a very small circle at that, but I kept going. I stumbled often, and, as itgrew darker and darker, I fell often, too.Finally, I tripped over something–it was black now, I had no idea what caught my foot–and Istayed down. I rolled onto my side, so that I could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken.As I lay there, I had a feeling that more time was passing than I realized. I couldn't rememberhow long it had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule,some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in thecanopy of trees, and find the ground.Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black. Perhaps there was no moon tonight–a lunareclipse, a new moon.A new moon. I shivered, though I wasn't cold.It was black for a long time before I heard them calling.Someone was shouting my name. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surroundedme, but it was definitely my name. I didn't recognize the voice. I thought about answering,but I was dazed, and it took a long time to come to the conclusion that I should answer. Bythen, the calling had stopped.Sometime later, the rain woke me up. I don't think I'd really fallen asleep; I was just lost in anunthinking stupor, holding with all my strength to the numbness that kept me from realizingwhat I didn't want to know.The rain bothered me a little. It was cold. I unwrapped my arms from around my legs tocover my face.It was then that I heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes itsounded like several voices were calling at once. I tried to breathe deeply. I remembered thatI should answer, but I didn't think they would be able to hear me. Would I be able to shoutloud enough?Suddenly, there was another sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animal sound. Itsounded big. I wondered if I should feel afraid. I didn't–just numb. It didn't matter. Thesnuffling went away.The rain continued, and I could feel the water pooling up against my cheek. I was trying togather the strength to turn my head when I saw the light.At first it was just a dim glow reflecting off the bushes in the distance. It grew brighter andbrighter, illuminating a large space unlike the focused beam of a flashlight. The light brokethrough the closest brush, and I could see that it was a propane lantern, but that was all Icould see–the brightness blinded me for a moment."Bella."The voice was deep and unfamiliar, but full of recognition. He wasn't calling my name tosearch, he was acknowledging that I was found.I stared up–impossibly high it seemed–at the dark face that I could now see above me. I wasvaguely aware that the stranger probably only looked so tall because my head was still on theground."Have you been hurt?"I knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could themeaning matter at this point?"Bella, my name is Sam Uley."There was nothing familiar about his name."Charlie sent me to look for you."Charlie? That struck a chord, and I tried to pay more attention to what he was saying.Charlie mattered, if nothing else did.The tall man held out a hand. I gazed at it, not sure what I was supposed to do.His black eyes appraised me for a second, and then he shrugged. In a quick and supplenotion, he pulled me up from the ground and into his arms.I hung there, limp, as he loped swiftly through the wet forest. Some part of me knew thisshould upset me–being carried away by a stranger. But there was nothing left in me to upset.It didn't seem like too much time passed before there were lights and the deep babble ofmany male voices. Sam Uley slowed as he approached the commotion."I've got her!" he called in a booming voice.The babble ceased, and then picked up again with more intensity. A confusing swirl of facesmoved over me. Sam's voice was the only one that made sense in the chaos, perhaps becausemy ear was against his chest."No, I don't think she's hurt," he told someone. "She just keeps saying 'He's gone.' "Was I saying that out loud? I bit down on my lip."Bella, honey, are you all right?"That was one voice I would know anywhere–even distorted, as it was now, with worry."Charlie?" My voice sounded strange and small."I'm right here, baby."There was a shifting under me, followed by the leathery smell of my dad's sheriff jacket.Charlie staggered under my weight."Maybe I should hold on to her," Sam Uley suggested."I've got her," Charlie said, a little breathless.He walked slowly, struggling. I wished I could tell him to put me down and let me walk, butI couldn't find my voice.There were lights everywhere, held by the crowd walking with him. It felt like a parade. Or afuneral procession. I closed my eyes."We're almost home now, honey," Charlie mumbled now and then.I opened my eyes again when I heard the door unlock. We were on the porch of our house,and the tall dark man named Sam was holding the door for Charlie, one arm extended towardus, as if he was preparing to catch me when Charlie's arms failed.But Charlie managed to get me through the door and to the couch in the living room."Dad, I'm all wet," I objected feebly."That doesn't matter." His voice was gruff. And then he was talking to someone else."Blankets are in the cupboard at the top of the stairs.""Bella?" a new voice asked. I looked at the gray-haired man leaning over me, and recognitioncame after a few slow seconds."Dr. Gerandy?" I mumbled."That's right, dear," he said. "Are you hurt, Bella?"It took me a minute to think that through. I was confused by the memory of Sam Uley'ssimilar question in the woods. Only Sam had asked something else: Have you been hurt? he'dsaid. The difference seemed significant somehow.Dr. Gerandy was waiting. One grizzled eyebrow rose, and the wrinkles on his foreheaddeepened."I'm not hurt," I lied. The words, were true enough for what he'd asked.His warm hand touched my forehead, and his fingers pressed against the inside of my wrist. Iwatched his lips as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch."What happened to you?" he asked casually.I froze under his hand, tasting panic in the back of my throat."Did you get lost in the woods?" he prodded. I was aware of several other people listening.Three tall men with dark faces–from La Push, the Quileute Indian reservation down on thecoastline, I guessed–Sam Uley among them, were standing very close together and staring atme. Mr. Newton was there with Mike and Mr. Weber, Angela's father; they all werewatching me more surreptitiously than the strangers. Other deep voices rumbled from thekitchen and outside the front door. Half the town must have been looking for me.Charlie was the closest. He leaned in to hear my answer."Yes," I whispered. "I got lost."The doctor nodded, thoughtful, his fingers probing gently against the glands under my jaw.Charlie's face hardened."Do you feel tired?" Dr. Gerandy asked.I nodded and closed my eyes obediently."I don't think there's anything wrong with her," I heard the doctor mutter to Charlie after amoment. "Just exhaustion. Let her sleep it off, and I'll come check on her tomorrow," hepaused. He must have looked at his watch, because he added, "Well, later today actually."There was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to their feet."Is it true?" Charlie whispered. Their voices were farther away now. I strained to hear. "Didthey leave?""Dr. Cullen asked us not to say anything," Dr. Gerandy answered. "The offer was verysudden; they had to choose immediately. Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out ofleaving.""A little warning might have been nice," Charlie grumbled.Dr. Gerandy sounded uncomfortable when he replied. "Yes, well, in this situation, somewarning might have been called for."I didn't want to listen anymore. I felt around for the edge of the quilt someone had laid ontop of me, and pulled it over my ear.I drifted in and out of alertness. I heard Charlie whisper thanks to the volunteers as, one byone, they left. I felt his fingers on my forehead, and then the weight of another blanket. Thephone rang a few times, and he hurried to catch it before it could wake me. He mutteredreassurances in a low voice to the callers."Yeah, we found her. She's okay. She got lost. She's fine now," he said again and again.I heard the springs in the armchair groan when he settled himself in for the night.A few minutes later, the phone rang again.Charlie moaned as he struggled to his feet, and then he rushed, stumbling, to the kitchen Ipulled my head deeper under the blankets, not wanting to listen to the same conversationagain."Yeah," Charlie said, and yawned.His voice changed, it was much more alert when he spoke again. "Where?'" There was apause. "You're sure it's outside the reservation?" Another short pause. "But what could beburning out there?" He sounded both worried and mystified. "Look, I'll call down there andcheck it out."I listened with more interest as he punched in a number."Hey, Billy, it's Charlie–sorry I'm calling so early... no, she's fine. She's sleeping... Thanks,but that's not why I called. I just got a call from Mrs. Stanley, and she says that from her second-story window she can see fires out on the sea cliffs, but I didn't really... Oh!"Suddenly there was an edge in his voice–irritation... or anger. "And why are they doing that?Uh huh. Really?" He said it sarcastically. "Well, don't apologize to me. Yeah, yeah. Justmake sure the flames don't spread... I know, I know, I'm surprised they got them lit at all inthis weather."Charlie hesitated, and then added grudgingly. "Thanks for sending Sam and the other boysup. You were right–they do know the forest better than we do. It was Sam who found her,so I owe you one... Yeah, I'll talk to you later," he agreed, still sour, before hanging up.Charlie muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room."What's wrong?" I asked.He hurried to my side."I'm sorry I woke you, honey.""Is something burning?""It's nothing," he assured me. "Just some bonfires out on the cliffs.""Bonfires?" I asked. My voice didn't sound curious. It sounded dead.Charlie frowned. "Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy," he explained."Why?" I wondered dully.I could tell he didn't want to answer. He looked at the floor under his knees. "They'recelebrating the news." His tone was bitter.There was only one piece of news I could think of, try as I might not to. And then the piecessnapped together. "Because the Cullens left," I whispered. "They don't like the Cullens in LaPush–I'd forgotten about that."The Quileutes had their superstitions about the "cold ones," the blood-drinkers that wereenemies to their tribe, just like they had their legends of the great flood and wolf-menancestors. Just stories, folklore, to most of them. Then there were the few that believed.Charlie's good friend Billy Black believed, though even Jacob, his own son, thought he wasfull of stupid superstitions. Billy had warned me to stay away from the Cullens...The name stirred something inside me, something that began to claw its way toward thesurface, something I knew I didn't want to face."It's ridiculous," Charlie spluttered.We sat in silence for a moment. The sky was no longer black outside the window.Somewhere behind the rain, the sun was beginning to rise."Bella?" Charlie asked.I looked at him uneasily."He left you alone in the woods?" Charlie guessed.I deflected his question. "How did you know where to find me?" My mind shied away fromthe inevitable awareness that was coming, coming quickly now."Your note," Charlie answered. surprised. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans andpulled out a much-abused piece of paper. It was dirty and damp, with multiple creases frombeing opened and refolded many times. He unfolded it again, and held it up as evidence. Themessy handwriting was remarkably close to my own.Going for a walk with Edward, up the path, it said. Back soon, B."When you didn't come back, I called the Cullens, and no one answered," Charlie said in alow voice. "Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone.""Where did they go?" I mumbled.He stared at me. "Didn't Edward tell you?"I shook my head, recoiling. The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawinginside of me–a pain that knocked me breathless, astonished me with its force.Charlie eyed me doubtfully as he answered. "Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in LosAngeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him."Sunny L.A. The last place they would really go. I remembered my nightmare with themirror... the bright sunlight shimmering off of his skin–Agony ripped through me with the memory of his face."I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods," Charlieinsisted.His name sent another wave of torture through me. I shook my head, frantic, desperate toescape the pain. "It was my fault. He left me right here on the trail, in sight of the house...but I tried to follow him."Charlie started to say something; childishly, I covered my ears. "I can't talk about thisanymore, Dad. I want to go to my room."Before he could answer, I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up the stairs.Someone had been in the house to leave a note for Charlie, a note that would lead him tofind me. From the minute that I'd realized this, a horrible suspicion began to grow in my head. I rushed to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CDplayer by my bed.Everything looked exactly the same as I'd left it. I pressed down on the top of the CD player.The latch unhooked, and the lid slowly swung open.It was empty.The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where I'd put it last. Ilifted the cover with a shaking hand.I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held apicture in place. The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across thebottom: Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th.I stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough.It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and thenit was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to mydisappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at mebefore now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.I did not resurface.

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