The Nights We Stay Awake (TemperancexReader)

63. "My turn to move on"

Emily pov

The soft hum of the office surrounds me as i sit at my desk, tapping away at the keys on my keyboard. It's just another day at work, nothing out of the ordinary - even though it is quieter without Y/n here -, until i hear the gentle rustle of someone approaching. I look up, and there's Allison Diaz, her usual bright smile in place, carrying two cups of coffee.

"Hey, Emily," she says, her voice light but with a slight nervous edge to it.

I smile back, already sensing something more behind the casual gesture. "Hey, Diaz. What's up?"

She hesitates, then pushes one of the cups toward me. "I brought you a coffee. I... i wasn't sure what you liked, so i guessed."

I raise an eyebrow, taking the cup from her. "Than you. That's really thoughtful." i take a sip, finding it's exactly how i like it. "You guessed right."

Allison seems to relax slightly, her shoulders dropping a bit. "Good, i was worried i'd mess it up. I... i've been meaning to... you know, talk to you about something."

I can tell where this is going. There's a certain tension in her posture, the way she fidgets with the lid of her own cup, the way her eyes keep darting away from mine. I lean back slightly, giving her space, but i stay quiet, letting her find her word.

"I was wondering if maybe-" she starts, then pauses, glancing around the office as if she's hoping someone might interrupt and save her from this moment. "If you'd like to grab a cup of coffee sometime. Not just, you know, at work. Like, outside of work. Together."

It's as though time slows down for a moment, and i can see the vulnerability in her eyes. She's trying to be brave, to put herself out there. I admire that, but...

"I, um," she stumbles over her words, suddenly groping her gaze. "I know you and Y7n used to-" she stops herself, biting her lip. "I mean, you don't have to say yes. Obviously."

There's that awkward, raw honesty that i can't help but respect. But it's also exactly why i need to be honest in return.

"Allison," i start softly, giving her a warm, appreciate smile. "You're really kind and amazing. I'm flattered, truly." I take another sip of the coffee, trying to find the right words that won't sting too much. "But i'm... i'm not dating right now."

Her eyes meet mine, searching, but i can see the understanding settling in. "Oh," she says, almost too quickly, nodding as if to reassure herself more than me. "Yeah, i get it. No worries."

"I really mean it, Allison," i add, leaning forward just a bit. "You're wonderful, but i'm in a place right now where... i'm just focusing on other things. It's nothing personal."

She offers a tight smile, but it's genuine. "Yeah, no, totally. I get it, Emily. I do."

For a second, i worry that i've hurt her more than i intended, but she straightens up, shoulders back, like she's made peace with it.

"Thanks for being honest," she says, her tone lighter now. "That's more than i could've asked for." She glances at the cup in her hand. "Enjoy the coffee. I'll... see you around."

I watch her go, her footsteps soft as she leaves my desk, and i let out a small sigh. I hate these moments, the ones where i have to turn someone down, especially someone as genuine as Allison. But it wouldn't have been right to lead her on. I wasn't lying. Dating isn't on the agenda for me right now.

I sit back in my chair, watching Allison's retreating figure, and let out a long breath. Before i can dive back into work, i hear someone approaching again, and i glance up to see JJ standing in front of my desk, an amused smile tugging at her lips.

"What was that all about?" she asks, leaning against the desk, arms crossed. Her eyes twinkle with curiosity.

I shrug, trying to play it cool. "Nothing really. Allison just asked if i wanted to grab coffee sometime."

JJ raises an eyebrow, looking at me knowingly. "And?"

"And i told her i wasn't dating right now."

JJ's smile softens, but there's still a hint of playfulness in her voice. "Emily, it's okay to move on, you know? You deserve to be happy. I'm glad someone's showing interest."

"I don't know, JJ," i admit, feeling a bit uneasy. "It's not about deserving anything. I just... i'm not sure i'm ready for that right now."

She tilts her head, studying me for a moment. "You're unsure because you don't want to, or because you're scared to?"

That hits a little too close to home, and i glance away I what the faintest echo of Y/n's voice in my head, the way she used to always push me when i was stuck, the way she'd tell me to take a chance. This might be the perfect path for you to walk right now, Emily, her voice seems to whisper.

JJ's still watching me, waiting for an answer, and something inside me shifts. Maybe... maybe Y/n's right. Maybe a cup of coffee isn't the worst thing in the world. It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that.

Before i can talk myself out of it, i push my chair back and stand up. "I'll be right back."

JJ grins, clearly pleased. "Good."

I hurry down the hall, scanning the office for any sign of Allison. She's just about to enter the elevator when i call out, "Allison, wait!"

She turns, her eyes widening in surprise as i job over to her. "Emily?"

I stop in front of her, slightly out of breath but determined. "Look, i've been thinking. Maybe... maybe grabbing a cup of coffee isn't such a bad idea after all."

Allison blinks, clearly taken aback. "Really?"

"Yeah," i say, nodding. "I mean, it's just coffee, right? No pressure."

Her face brightens, and she nods eagerly. "Right, no pressure at all."

I smile, feeling lighter somehow. "So, how about tomorrow? After work?"

"That sounds great," she replies, a realm smile spreading across her face. "I'll see you then."

We exchange a few more words before she leaves, and as i walk back to my desk, there's this sense of relief washing over me. It's a small step, but it feels like the right one. JJ catches my eye as i return to my seat, a knowing look on her face.

"I'm proud of you," she says quietly, giving me a supportive nod.

I offer her a small smile in return. "Thanks, JJ. We'll see how it goes."

She pats me on the shoulder before walking away, leaving me to my thoughts. I settle back into my chair, and for the first time in a while, the weight i've been carrying feels just a little bit lighter.

Even though i can clearly hear how she immediately group calls both Penelope and Y/n. Starting with "You'll never guess what just happened here..."