Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

26

It had been a while since Nina went out with someone else. She didn't have time to go out, mostly working and doing things for her boss. When Annie asked to go out and do some fun things, Nina agreed immediately. Her friends were not available that day, and it would be nice to get out of the office just a bit. To forget about work, Vought, and John. He was always in the back of her mind, though. She hoped he came to terms with everything that was happening and relaxed a little bit. To be completely honest, Nina wanted to be out with him that day. She wanted to see him giggle while eating donuts. She wanted to see him happy. Not PR, fake happy. Genuinely happy. Voice cracks and and shortness of breath for laughing too much. It was the best part of him. Being himself. She knew that he had a persona to care for, he had to look strong and charming, he was America's Superhero after all. But seeing him smile... it was like she had done her job right. It wasn't her responsibility, but in a weird way, his happiness was a gift.

Meanwhile, Annie was walking around Times Square talking to Butcher on the phone about what he would say to Nina. She was a bit nervous, but there was no way Homelander would just appear out of nowhere to stop that conversation. People were happy, they were loud, there were so many people walking around. He would have to make a lot of effort to listen to an specific conversation like that. They agreed it would be a call, if Homelander smelled Butcher all over Nina it would be the end. Starlight had a soft spot for Nina, like what Ashley was just starting to feel. She gave hints that the Supe leader wasn't really a good person, but his assistant just thought that he was flawed. Everybody was flawed, but unfortunately, Homelander was beyond repair. He was insane, the kind of insanity that not even the most warped mind could explain. The world owed him happiness, and if he suffered, they had to suffer too. If she could at least send Nina away before he broke down, she would.

Nina arrived after Annie did. Both of them got hot dogs with a generous amount of mustard. Annie suggested to walk around and eat at the same time, a way to distract Homelander if he ever appeared. They both went around with sodas in hand, talking about life.

"You know..." Annie said, looking at the greasy hot dog. "This is extremely unhealthy. But I love it."

Nina giggled. "The ones in Brazil are filled with condiments. They're so much bigger than this one."

"I would have a blast there." Annie said, biting into her food. "I would gain so much weight though."

Nina shook her head gently. "You look great, though. No worries."

"Hm." Annie said while chewing. "Sorry. It's my pageant mind talking again."

"What do you mean?"

"My mom..." She swallowed. "My mom was a control freak. She monitored everything I ate. I could never have anything sweet or with too many calories."

"But... why?"

"She wanted me to be famous. She wanted to live her life through me. That's why she took me to these beauty contests."

"I mean, you're way more than that." Nina said, her big eyes showing compassion for Annie. "You're Starlight, for God's sake. The Starlight. You're so nice and you're always trying to help. Fucking hell, if your biggest sin is to gain weight, you're a saint."

"Yeah." Annie smiled. "Thanks for that."

"I've noticed people can be shallow, and that's their problem." Said Nina. "You should live for yourself, not for them. Not even for your mom. Mine also tries to do the same thing."

"Christian mom too?"

"Yep. My mom wants me to go home and marry someone from our local church. She said that's God's plan."

Annie took a sip out of her soda, listening to what Nina was saying. "But it pisses me off, you know? No one knows God's plan, but God himself. What if me being here working at Vought was God's plan all along?"

Annie raised her eyebrows. God wouldn't send anybody directly to hell. Nina continued. "I don't really want to go back to marry someone I don't love."

"When I was younger, my mom also tried to set me up with some guys from church." Said Annie. "I always hated it. So I understand why you are trying to get away from that."

Nina sighed. "Yeah. If God ever blesses my marriage, I want it to be with someone I care about."

"Do you care about someone?"

Nina was caught off guard. "What do you mean?"

"Right now." Said Annie. "Do you have someone?"

Nina sighed and thought about Homelander instantly. It was ridiculous. It wasn't really like he had ever left her head, but to think of him... and marriage? "Not really. I wish."

"I hope you do find the one." Annie smiled. "Both of us deserve it."

Annie wouldn't press Nina about her feelings for Homelander. She knew that they had something. Maybe it wasn't sexual, maybe it was. But there was something there. It was heartbreaking to have to use that against him, not because it would break his heart, but because it would probably break hers. It was mutual, because he had changed a bit after she arrived. Annie always thought Homelander didn't deserve any kind of happiness. He deserved to suffer for everything he did, for every person he killed, for everyone he had traumatized. But then Nina came around and he somehow started to listen to someone that wasn't him, to thank people for their efforts. It was eerie, like an alternative universe had opened and swallowed the old one. Not that Homelander wasn't Homelander anymore, but it was like the first time he wasn't only made of bitterness. He was still a violent, volatile son of a bitch, but a tamer one.

If he could ever be tamed, Nina was perhaps the one to do it.

"Hey, remember that conversation we had..." Annie said, almost whispering. Even knowing Homelander probably wasn't there, she didn't want to take any risks.

"Hm?" Nina was chewing.

"I wanted you to know some things... about Homelander." She was serious. It had to be done, and she didn't want to face Butcher if that failed.

"Oh, yeah." Now Nina seemed annoyed. "This again."

"We should call the contact." Annie said. "It's safe to do it here."

"Right now?"

Annie nodded. "Right now."