Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

9

"I've seen you with him... on TV. He irradiates evil."

She would never, ever be happy for me, would she?

Nina wasn't sure why she still called at that point. Her mother kept trying to drag her down, asking her to come back to Brazil, and demeaning her. But she loved her mom either way. She was raised to always respect her elders, even though many apparently prayed for her downfall. There she was, with a nice salary, living in a nice building, but to her mom it was the same thing as walking the streets and selling her body for money. She tried to explain what she did, and how she helped Homelander, but her mom had none of it. It was the devil's work, handling Compound V freaks who were against the laws of God. She didn't even know that her mom with her fanaticism was the reason Nina didn't go to church anymore. Just loads and loads of bullshit coming from their mouth. She wouldn't say Vought was completely good, but they weren't... inherently evil.

"Mom, he's very kind," Nina tried to reason with her mom. "He seems scary, but it's because he has a lot to handle. He has to be firm in his words. We talk a lot, and he..."

"I wish you listened to me. I wish you listened to me at least once."

It was so unfair. Nina listened to her mom all her life, she stayed by her mom's side for years, and she would still send money back to make sure her mom was living comfortably. She knew that the retirement money wouldn't be enough, and she had finally secured a job that could support them both. But it wasn't enough because it wasn't "godly". Touching kids wasn't godly either, but she knew there were a handful of pastors who did. Why go to the church seeking God if it appeared that Satan was at the same place? But no, it wasn't a matter of the strictness of the religion, it was something about "bad apples". But even when those apples were apprehended, there were little to no consequences to them. And they continued to affect the whole bunch. There wasn't anything holy about Vought - but the church wasn't holy either.

Nina wanted to cry. "But I did! You told me to get a good job and I did!"

"That job? With these people who want to defy God?"

Nina broke down. "Mom, I was working at a Walmart! It was terrible!"

She was sobbing, "I could barely make rent! I couldn't send anything to you!"

"Just come back home." Her mom didn't budge. It was like her daughter's suffering didn't matter. "Leave this place. Come back to me."

"For what?", Nina sniffled, "so you can control me and tell me what to do, like you always did?"

The line fell silent. Nina heard a sigh.

"I did my best, sweetie. I'm still trying. I didn't want you to go down the bad path."

"And what is that path? Getting a decent job?"

"I worry about your safety."

"I'm fine. I swear I'm fine."

Her mom paused and changed the subject slightly. "Since you talk to him a lot... what do you know about him?"

"What?"

"Homelander." The mom now sounded a bit somber. "What do you know about his life?"

"Uh... He's nice and helps people," Nina blew her nose, "his main goal is to save the world, and he's a great role model too."

"Yes, but that's what he wants you to know."

Nina sighed, hating that her mom was right. Ashley did say no questions after all. He wasn't bothered by the question about the pictures of his face everywhere, but it was probably the only question Nina had ever asked that lead her to a straight answer. He either dismissed them, or he called her out. He had the right for privacy as he was a public person, but his life was... too secretive even though it looked like he enjoyed her company.

"He won't tell me his whole life story," said Nina, with her nose still a bit stuffed, "I'm only his assistant."

"Does he even have a normal name? What kind of name is Homelander?"

"He has... probably. He didn't want to tell me. That's his superhero name."

Nina realized how absurd that was, and her mom seemed to realize the same thing. Why was he so hesitant to tell her his name? It was not like she would tell people about it. Maybe they weren't so close and it was a bit disappointing to accept that.

"If you know him that well, why didn't he want you to know his name?"

-

Nina thought about her conversation with her mom a lot. She knew that Homelander as he presented himself for the population was a persona, he admitted himself that he hated kids and it didn't seem like he really wanted to attend the Vought events, unless they were about him. It was true that she didn't really know him. She didn't know about his life in general, besides what she saw. They were together for long periods of time, but the conversations were mostly about work, and Nina's life. What came from him was mostly complaints about other heroes and Vought itself, and he often asked Nina's opinions on specific subjects. He knew she loved chocolate milkshake, he knew her favorite band and he knew her favorite songs, but she knew nothing of him. She wondered if he was just introverted and he didn't realize that. Then she remembered how everybody treated him and acted around him. If it wasn't fear, they despised him. And it probably had a reason. Nina just didn't know what was.

She thought about it while in the bathroom. Her makeup needed some touch ups and she needed to wait a bit for the redness of her face to disappear. Her eyes were still a bit swollen. While she was there, Queen Maeve came in. She didn't really seem open for conversation. As a matter of fact, Nina had never seen her genuinely smile. On all promotional material the smile was clearly a fake one. She splashed a bit of water over her face and looked at Nina.

"Oh, he yelled at you, didn't he?" Her voice sounded cold and detached. She probably noticed that Nina had been crying.

"Who?"

"The sad excuse of a man who happens to be your boss," she sighed. She sounded so hurt, and mean.

"No...", Nina coughed, "it wasn't him."

"Yeah, right," Maeve smiled condescendingly, "it just proved that being his lap dog wouldn't be that easy."

"Excuse me?"

"Are you fucking him?", Maeve sounded as if she was disgusted by the thought, "'cause there's no way you aren't."

Nina felt offended. Even if she was... what kind of person would say that? "Maeve..."

"No, that's... that's between you and him. That's your choice."

It was so annoying and demeaning. "Listen, do you have a problem with me? What do you want?"

Maeve raised her eyebrows, "no need to be angry, I'm just joking."

"No need to call me a lap dog, either." Nina's redness was now anger. "You don't know me."

"But I know him," her expression changed, as if regret took over her eyes, "and you deserve better than that."

"Thanks, Maeve," Nina nodded, still clearly angry, "thanks for ignoring me in most interactions we had, and treating me like shit on the first one we did have."

Maeve sighed and closed her eyes, "I'm sorry. We didn't end up in good terms. It's not your fault."

"I see."

"Just... be careful." The look on her face was pity. The whole interaction was so weird to Nina. Maeve left in a hurry after that.

What? Again? What's with these people?