Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

25

"Good morning, Ashley." Said Nina.

"Morning." Ashley nodded.

"How was the break?" Nina smiled.

"Surprisingly relaxing."

Ashley was dying to be back to her office. She was sitting on the couch with Nina. She would never admit it, but she couldn't function without Vought. She liked the planning, the movie pitch ideas, and the ads, the photoshoots and everything. She did have to live in constant fear of not upsetting Homelander, but now that Nina was closer to him, she had been feeling his rage... even less. Ashley would never admit it, but she missed Nina a bit too. She would never understand how happy that woman felt. She was happy every day, every fucking morning she had a smile on her face. It was ridiculous, especially because Ashley herself was a wreck. Maybe being a teacher in Brazil was harder than anything they ever did at Vought, and that's why she was adapting surprisingly well. She had the experience of dealing with spoiled brats all the time, so the extraordinarily powerful brat she had to deal with every day was probably child's play for her. Ashley envied Nina's assertiveness... and her courage. She had to admit that every since Nina started working at Vought, Ashley stopped ripping chunks of her hair out. It was growing again under the wig. Confessing that Nina had helped her without even knowing was too humiliating, so Ashley chose to keep her mouth shut about it.

"How is your eye... and your nose?"

Nina shrugged. "It's fine. Nothing hurts anymore, and the color is almost back to normal. I can cover it with makeup just fine."

"That's good to know." Ashley said. "What about the shapeshifters?"

Nina smiled. Ashley had no time to lose. "Well... they attacked again. They are still out there. But we couldn't be trapped here until the end of time, you know."

"What's the plan?"

"Well..." Nina raised her eyebrows. "I asked the boss if he could let us leave and he agreed. I think Mr. Edgar was the one who gave the order for us to come back to work as normal today. The Seven are just... waiting for the attack, unfortunately."

"He... he agreed?"

Nina nodded. "Yeah. I tried to be as polite as possible and I explained to him why we should just go back to normal. We have security. The Seven are powerful. We don't have to live in fear."

And there it was again. Nina always ready to save the day. If Ashley had proposed something like that, he would've probably ripped her head off clean. Homelander was very stubborn, he never accepted any opinions unless they were for his own benefit. She didn't know how Nina did it. The lockdown could've lasted longer than two weeks, considering how angry he was after the first attack. Now knowing there was another one, Ashley wondered how he wasn't pushed over the edge. She knew Nina's life was none of her business, but Ashley finally had the courage to ask Nina what everybody was thinking.

After a brief pause and all of these thoughts racing through her mind, Ashley spoke. "Nina?"

"Yeah...?"

"Do you...?"

Nina stared at Ashley, waiting for the question.

She didn't know how to ask it. "Are you...?"

Nina raised her eyebrows.

"You... and Homelander."

"What about us?"

"Are you guys...?"

Nina pursed her lips and sighed. "Are we together? No."

"Oh."

"He means a lot to me, Ashley." Nina confessed. "I know it's hard to understand, but it's true."

Ashley took a good look at Nina, now caring to study her deeply for the first time. That poor woman. She really liked him. "What do you mean?"

"Well... I know he's kind of an asshole. I know that the persona is fake... like the suit."

Ashley remained silent. Nina continued. "But he can be great... when given the space. I've seen it happen."

"Nina, he..."

"Yeah. He kills people for a living." Nina nodded. "I know he must have killed a lot of them. But..."

Ashley sighed. "You don't have to justify it. It's okay."

"It wasn't that easy to convince him to let us go, really." Nina admitted. "He was somewhat angry that I even asked. But he relented. He's very stressed right now. He's barely eating. I worry about him all the time."

"I think you should leave him alone for a bit." Advised Ashley. "Do you have a lot to do today?"

"Not really." Said Nina. "Only if he asks. I just came back to work, and he isn't really asking me for anything."

"Well. It's the best thing to do. Don't worry about him. Just for today."

Ashley had all the reasons in the world to judge Nina. Yeah, she was head over heels for a maniacal genocidal Supe. But she couldn't. Nina really liked him. He didn't deserve it. As mean as Ashley could be, she didn't have the courage to open Nina's eyes. It was a conundrum. She could prove that Homelander did horrible things, she could try and look for evidence in Vought's files. It wouldn't be easy, it could be risky. But she could definitely find dirt about him. Ashley knew that if she didn't have any proof and that if the truth didn't come out from Homelander himself, Nina would never believe her. If Nina believed her, she would either leave or be killed, and Ashley would be verbally abused by Homelander every day once again. She thought about the day Homelander thanked her, which freaked her out. She was sent home, thinking about how much he changed. And he changed because of Nina. Maybe he was faking it, maybe he wasn't. But everything felt so much... lighter. Ashley reflected for a bit if concealing the truth from Nina was for Nina's benefit, or her own. Either way, she cared about Nina's heart way more than she was willing to admit.

"Annie asked me to go out with her later tonight." Said Nina. "I think it's a good way to... have fun, you know."

Ashley nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't you want to go with us?" Nina said. "We don't have to talk about work or the boss all the time, you know."

"I appreciate that." Said Ashley. "But I was away from work for two weeks. There's a lot to do. I think I'll have to stay late. But have fun."

Nina didn't know if she would have fun knowing how Homelander felt. Maybe she would go by his room just to give him another hug.

She wished that hugs cured everything, but even she knew it wasn't possible.