Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

21

"How are you doing?" Nina asked.

Homelander was sitting alone in the conference room, hands to his mouth. Nina came in and sat by his side, dressed casually in jeans, a light yellow sweater and sneakers. She walked over the shattered glass on the floor, cracking it into smaller pieces. No one had cleaned that room up, because they were all still at home. It felt like they were in a post-apocalyptic nightmare. The windows had not been fixed, the table was still broken. Everything was out of place, the greatest superheroes backed into a corner. Two shapeshifters were dead, and no one knew how many were still left. The wait was the worst part. Nina hadn't been getting enough sleep, sometimes she had to take something to completely knock her out. To her, Homelander was the strongest being in the universe, and seeing how he was behaving made her nervous. She wouldn't be able to relax until everything was taken care of. But she also knew that he was human, and humans have doubts and insecurities. Maybe he was afraid. Not as afraid as her, but afraid nonetheless.

"I'm okay." He didn't look at her. His sky blue eyes seemed lost in space and time.

The Seven were hypothetically on their knees. Everybody was waiting for an order, and Homelander was the one to say the word. The problem was that he didn't know what to say. His plan of keeping everybody in had failed, and he didn't know who he could trust. He hadn't talked to Starlight since shouting at her, and apparently he hadn't talked to any other Supe. Nina doubted that he had slept the past few days. He probably didn't need as much sleep as his assistant did, but he still needed to relax. She had never seen him looking so tense. He hadn't smiled in a while.

"You know..." Nina said, trying to be careful. "We ran out of food a while ago. I don't think that the delivery people really like to be welcomed at gunpoint."

He side eyed her. She sighed. "We need to leave, boss. We can't be here forever."

He huffed. "Nina..."

She shook her head. "We're gonna lose our minds here. I just want to jog at Central Park like a normal person."

"Yes." He shook his head. "Yes. That's what's important. Jogging at fucking Central Park."

"You don't understand." Nina was trying not to aggravate him, but she knew it would probably happen. He was listening but he seemed very serious. "Trapping us here won't solve the problem."

"Yeah." His face twitched. "I'll just... I'll let you all leave and you'll be attacked individually."

"John..."

"Don't John me, Nina." He frowned. "Do you even know what you're asking?"

"Yeah, I do." She looked down. "I'm pretty sure the Seven can take care of themselves."

His eyes softened. He just stared at her, sadness overtaking his face. She continued. "You can't save everybody. It was a good idea to keep everybody else at home, but..."

Nina realized that if she left, she wouldn't be able to protect herself. And she knew Homelander thought the same. "If something happens..."

"I won't let anything happen to you." He shook his head nervously. "I would never..."

"I just said you can't save..."

"Yes, but..." He sighed. "Not everybody. You."

"Boss, I appreciate that." She gently put a hand on his left arm. He closed his gloved hand in a fist. "But you need to relax. It feels like you're about to explode."

He was clenching his jaw once again. The thought of something happening to her bothered him. She wanted to touch his face, but she didn't know if she could. They were unconsciously leaning closer and closer to each other. "Let's watch a movie. Let's... go out. You need to forget about that."

"I can't."

"Have you even eaten today, John?" Nina sighed. "Come on."

He stayed silent. His face relaxed, but he still looked so sad. Nina's attempts to cheer him on weren't working like she expected. She did care about him and he appreciated the attention.

"I'll take you to my favorite burger place. If you want to... you can leave the suit behind. Just this time." Her big brown eyes were so warm and inviting. Probably the most beautiful shade of brown he'd ever seen.

He covered his face with his hands. Her hair smelled delicious. "I'm okay, Nina. Thank you, anyway."

"John... please."

He smiled sadly. "I'll see you later."

She deflated. "Right. I'll go by myself, then. Try not to worry too much."

As much as she cared about him, Nina needed to be out for a while. She missed doing something productive... or fun. She wanted to go out with someone, maybe her other roommates were still available. They had become good friends, and she hadn't had the time to go out with them ever since landing the job. Her life was the farthest away from any kind of normalcy, and that improvised quarantine was starting to mess with her head. She wanted to take him out, she wanted to see him without that damn suit. It was about seeing the human behind the hero. Talking to him about anything else that wasn't work. He seemed to be himself when the subject was something about Nina's life, he seemed genuinely happy to be immersed in a world that didn't include V and hero duties. But these times were still so brief. It was like he had a harder shell over his already unbreakable skin. Maybe one day he would just... let go of his worries for a second.

She left without saying anything else. He watched her back until she was out of view. He hated staying behind while she was vulnerable. Her face was still bruised, a sad reminder of what happened when he wasn't there to protect her. But it was her choice to leave. He wanted to join her, but he had too much in his head. He did love the conversations, he loved to hear about her life, and he remembered everything. Every single detail, every single period of every statement. He would look for an excuse just to talk. But he couldn't do that at that moment. He had to come up with a plan, and no one was helping him. The Seven were probably sick of being trapped in a massive building with nothing to do. He wouldn't let anyone out if Nina didn't ask. If someone else had questioned his authority, he would absolutely have a scream match with them. Nina didn't know that, but Homelander would never say no to her.

He just couldn't.