Echos of a Genius | Spencer Reid

My Leave Of Absence

Spencer

My name is Spencer Reid, I am 10 months clean.

I leaned against the kitchen counter, watching Stephie talk animatedly about the latest drama Emily had shared with her. Something about a new TV show drama in a way only Emily could describe. I smiled, nodding at the right moments, but truthfully, I wasn't fully invested in the story. It wasn't that I didn't care about what Stephie had to say—far from it—but the peace I'd finally found had made moments like these more precious.

A year ago, peace seemed impossible. Losing the baby had shattered something inside me that I wasn't sure I could ever put back together. The pain was unbearable, and for a while, I thought it might break us too. I distanced myself from her, from everyone. I thought that maybe the best way to protect her from more pain was to keep my distance.

But Stephie wasn't having any of that. Slowly, painfully, she brought me back. We spent months talking, healing in ways I never thought were possible. She never let me hide. She never let me run. And when we found our way back to each other, it was different this time. Stronger. Real.

We started dating again, officially this time, no longer hiding our relationship from our coworkers like before. It felt good not to keep any more secrets. Stephie and I had been through too much to keep things hidden. And now, we told each other everything—maybe a little too much, like when she filled me in on Emily's latest gossip. But it was moments like these, the quiet, everyday moments, that I cherished the most.

I could feel the weight of the past year lift as I listened to her, knowing that we had survived it all, and that things were good between us. Really good.

JJ announced she was a pregnant not long after Stephie and I announced we were together. I never even noticed she was seeing someone, his name is Will. Stephie and I decided it was best to never tell anyone about the baby we never got the chance to meet, it was something that was just for us to know. We don't talk about the loss often but we never forget. Theres a small hat that sits on the bookshelf in the memory of what could have been.

I don't know if this makes me a bad person but some part of me is glad Stephie isn't pregnant. Watching JJ be pregnant while still working make me nervous, even if she is just sitting at the station or the office, we've had bizarre things happen to us and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to Stephie while working a case, because we all know she wouldn't take a break. 

"Oh he's kicking a lot today." JJ sits next to me and places her hand over her very pregnant stomach. She's in her third trimester...I let my brain wander.

"In the third trimester, there's an average of 30 fetal movements per hour. Baby's kick to explore movement and strengthen muscle." She glares at me when I speak, it was just a fact I thought was worth sharing.

"Have you ever felt a baby actually kick?" Before I can answer her question she's grabbing my hand and placing it to where the movement is coming from. It freaks me out.

"Do you feel that?" She smile and I shake my head.

"Doesn't that freak you out..?"

"No, not at all." Then her expression changed to a more 'are you serious right now' look.

"Why? Does it freak you out?"

"Very much so." I take my hand back and turn back to the pile of papers in front of us.

"What freaks you out?" Stephie walks into the room and takes her usual place at the table, next to me.

"Reids scared of the baby kicking," JJ chuckles and Stephie looks at me, a sinister look lining her face.