Echos of a Genius | Spencer Reid

Sailor

Stephie

I shot upright in bed, gasping for air like I'd been drowning. My heart was racing, and my skin was slick with sweat. The nightmare clung to me—blood, shadows, the screams. God, the screams. It felt so real. Too real.

I couldn't shake it.

I ran a hand over my face, trying to ground myself, but it wasn't working. Every part of me was still trapped in that room, reliving the case we'd just closed. That poor girl's face. I couldn't stop seeing it.

"Steph?" Spencer's voice was soft, groggy but instantly concerned. His hand found my back, gently rubbing in slow circles. "You're okay. I'm here."

I couldn't speak for a moment, just staring at the darkness of the room, willing my heartbeat to slow. I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me close to his chest. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the steady rhythm of his breathing instead of the chaos in my mind.

But the words spilled out before I could stop them.

"I can't do this anymore, Spence."

He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at me. I could feel his eyes on me, searching my face in the dim light. "Stephie, it was just a nightmare."

"It's not just the nightmare," I said, my voice cracking. "It's... everything. Every case. Every victim. Every time I walk into another crime scene, it's like...I don't know. I'm not the same girl I used to be."

He was quiet for a moment, his hand still resting on my arm, steady and warm. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I don't think I can keep doing this job." The words tasted like defeat on my tongue, but they were true. "I want to resign. I need to resign."

Spencer didn't respond right away, but I could feel him shift, tightening his hold on me just a little, like he was afraid I'd slip away.

"You're not the same," he finally said, his voice low but certain. "You've been through hell, and it's changed you. But that doesn't make you any less strong or capable."

I shook my head, staring at the floor, the weight of it all crushing me. "I don't feel strong. I feel... broken."

He reached for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. "Stephie, you're the strongest person I know. If you need to step away..."

"I do," I whispered. "I need to."

He kissed the top of my head, holding me close again. "Then you do. Whatever you need, I'm here." He admits even though I can tell deep down he wants to shout at me. He wants to yell at me not to give up on the job I worked so hard to have all those years in the academy.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I didn't stop them this time. I just let myself fall into his embrace, letting the weight of his words settle into me. I need to get out.

The next morning felt heavy, like the air was thick with the conversation we had left hanging in the dark. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, pulling my hair back into a ponytail, my eyes hollow. The face staring back at me didn't feel like mine anymore.

Spencer leaned against the doorframe, watching me in silence for a moment before he spoke. "Stephie... have you thought about waiting? Just giving it a little more time?"

I didn't answer right away, reaching for my jacket instead. "I've thought about it long enough."

He pushed himself off the frame, walking over to me, his reflection now beside mine in the mirror. "I get it. The cases have been brutal lately, but... you're one of the best at what you do. If you leave, who's going to help the people we're fighting for? The ones like that girl yesterday?"