Lower- Ed novel

1. Golden hour

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of shattering glass. I opened my eyes suddenly and stared at the jet black ceiling at night for a couple of minutes, knowing that the glass throwing most likely belonged to my drunk father. that was conformed when I heared my parents argue again putting blame at one another for what happened that year, that one day.
I tried to shut my eyes again hoping I can sleep for another two hours or so before I have to start another day at my new school, and indeed I slept, but into a memory or a nightmare i do not know. I can't quite tell them apart anymore.

[Dream:]
[12 year old winter was getting driven to school, wearing blue net jeans and a somewhat tight pink jacket.
"Focus in class and listen to your teachers like always, alright, Smart cookie?" Says the one driving her there with a warm smile, in which was her older brother, that was working as an engineer at the time.
"Of course! See ya !"]

The memory was interrupted by a knock at the door," it's time for your school honey," I hear mom say, and I reply "yea I'm getting up" Then she leaves to work.

I took a few glances at the white paint peeling off from the ceiling before finally getting up and getting dressed.
There's nothing really to add to my outfit, I don't put effort anymore, and it's not like I change into pajamas every night. If my clothes were clean, I just sleep in them.
I went out of the door, and it was still a bit early. I put my wire earphones cause I can't afford airpods, and selected "Heartburn (slowed version)" as I began walking my 30 min walk to school.

There's not a day where I don't remember the day I began getting bullied in. Back in middle school I was chubby and had a bmi of 27, which meant I was overweight.
I'm no longer overweight now, I still believe I'm severely fat, but just a little bit more acceptable, considered a healthy weight, but still ate everything normally, and still enjoyed food. I just lost weight because we went poor, and I couldn't have all the food I wanted anymore.

I arrive at my school and enter my biology class. I kinda like biology, sometimes it has useful information about nutrition and whatever. I usually sit in the third row next to the window, and there I sat today. I took a glance to my right and saw the "popular" girl Cassie and some guy kissing. I immediately felt like throwing up, then came the teacher.

Idk, love isn't for me, I find it fake. No one's going to like your flaws, your poverty, your lack of style, or whatever, you name it. It's just a bunch of sentences that have "love" in it that lasts a couple of months then disappears.

Biology goes fast as well as Literature class and Social Studies, then comes lunch break. I skip the cafeteria and go to the bathroom, I opened my phone to find something to distract myself with until lunch time finishes so I can just finish my classes. I clicked on gallery, observing the past on a screen, I soon find a photo I thought I have deleted long time ago, it was me 5 years ago when I used to eat my emotions away, and with remembering that just a year before that, my brother passed away, I just started sobbing.

felt a tap on my shoulder and as I turned, I saw the faces of the devils, Cassie, Jasmine and Alice as they laughed. " Sobbing like a dog? Hah?" Laughs Cassie
"Wait, is that you? What the hell Winter?!" She continues laughing as she takes the phone from my hand and does something to my phone while the other two push me away from her as they joked around " were double doors invented for you?" And so on. I was just so gloomy that day, I had no Will to fight back what so ever.
They dropped my old phone on the floor as they were walking out, and it got a little Crack on it's screen. If it breaks, I don't think I could afford to buy a new one.

I went back to finish the remaining classes then was on my way to the library to study for a bit. The only fight spirit I had was in education to an extend, seeing how hard life can be without anyone with a degree in the family anymore, only made me want to secure my family and myself in the future if I can.
I also somewhat enjoy studying, it makes me disconnect from the real world sometimes.

Lunch break was done, and I hear girls giggling in the hallways talking about some hot new guy in the school that transfered today. We seem to have got a lot of transfers this semester. A week ago another guy transferred to our school too.

I send a message to Maggie, who I can call my friend, even if we don't see each other much in school but we take Math and P.E together, and often study together in the library, so I sent her if she will be coming to the library today, and she replied fast with" yup, but I might be 10mins late, is that okay♡?"
I reply, "yea ofc np^^, I'll wait for you."
She was always sweet, and kind, maybe even too kind.

I get into the library of the school, say good afternoon to the bookkeeper, and sit down at our usual spot.
I was taking out some notes and homework to do when I noticed a book has fallen off it's shelf, or someone left it accidentally on the floor. It seemed like a scientific book not that it mattered, but I respect books and authors and most of all knowledge, so I just had to get up and put it on a shelf, but then thought I should put it where the other science books were since i already got up, and not leave it with the Dictionaries and encyclopedias.

As I was trying to reach that shelf, I noticed through the book gaps that someone was standing behind the bookcase i was at.

Tall,brown haired and quite muscular guy, holding a book in his hand. For some reason I couldn't stop looking but he was faced away so i couldn't see him really, and with the sunlight shining on him through the window, it made it even harder to see his face and features, but when he started turning his gaze towards my way, I hid swiftly, then walked off quickly back to my table, making sure he didn't notice me. I don't need a new rumor on me now, especially not me being a weirdo that is stalking everyone, even if I wasn't.

" Where have you been?" Asks Maggie acting all mad, " I just returned a book to where it belonged, " I say with a half smile, "besides I waited for you, you waited for me, we're even now lol. " I continued as i didn't know if i should tell her about the guy i just saw. Even if i wanted to, what would i say? Nothing happened really, and i couldn't see his face anyways, so how would i explain ?