Mercy & Fire

35. Conflict and Confusion

Roselena

I was nineteen when Rovan Castilliano's name appeared in the newspapers. He was the youngest Commander of the Dhernon army yet, which gave him the infamy of being the cruelest, most ruthless, and evil  young man. It was unimaginable to guess what he did to earn the position. All the blood spilled, the sacrifices made, and the evil magic performed to draw the Queen's attention would no doubt make anyone shake like a leaf, and when I first met him, I certainly did.

Now as I watched him sleep in the carriage for the second time in the short season I've known him, I didn't know what to think.

He was cruel. He was ruthless. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to call him evil after all he had done, and the truth was that he'd never been cruel or ruthless to me.

I tilted my head at him, noting the way his skin looked plumper and more tanned since I'd met him. In fact, he looked a lot healthier in general since I first met him. The circles under his eyes were not as prominent, and there was practically no pallor to his skin.

Ever since I woke up and recalled everything that he did for me over the past few days, I found myself feeling more comfortable around him. As much as I hated to admit it, he had been kind. I mean, he did treat me like his prison ward at times, and he wasn't all that verbally nice.  The flirtations were grating but he never actually did anything inappropriate...

Butterflies released in my stomach as I remembered his kiss. Wet but warm with the bite of the cold air around us... the chapped skin of his lips pressing into mine... It was uncomfortable and pleasant and exciting all in one, and just the mere memory made my heart twist with vexation and displeasure at my body's reaction to him.

He was a handsome miscreant who never once showed interest toward me before. In fact, he called me "barely palatable" so why did he look at me with such a painful expression, apologize, and then kiss me all at once? It made no sense.

Even last night, he was quite interested in protecting my modesty after I unfortunately cried like a baby. I truly thought I was about to be stripped like one by the last person I ever wanted to see me bare, and it crushed my pride.

His decision to let me change myself and block the other's view of me with his body was surprising. Even now, I couldn't help but feel gratitude toward him for not pushing past my boundaries.

Intrusively, Adelia popped up in my head with her wisdom. If she were here, she would have said something along the lines of "respecting a person's privacy is not something to be rewarded but to be expected."

Shaking my head, I tried to focus on the newness of the kingdom instead.

Fanning my face with one hand, I leaned against the right of the carriage and stared out the window. Palm trees lined the streets, providing shade for the street vendors seated at almost every corner. At every other corner, there were guards and soldiers stationed, many of which were paired up and looking out over the people.

I liked to think that they were protecting the people, but judging by the discomfort and shifting gazes of the vendors and walking pedestrians, the soldiers were likely there for an entirely different purpose.

Back home, the streets were always bustling with life and energy, but here, everyone looked as if they were tense and tame. I would even say there was a feeling of misery among the hot and humid air of the city.

The feeling was thick and heavy in the atmosphere, making my stomach roll, as if something bad were coming and everyone was on the edge of their seat, waiting for the string holding everything together to finally snap.