Under the Radar

Kabanata 9

Kabanata 9

He licked his lower lips while staring at me attentively. Pansin ko ang pag-awang nito ngunit isasara niya rin na para bang nagbago ang isip niyang 'wag na lang sabihin.

"I should say it you, huh."

Ano ba kasi 'yon? Kanina pa siya nakatayo, wala namang lumalabas sa bibig. He keeps on murmuring too and giving a deep breath. From the way I looked at him, mukhang hirap na hirap siyang sabihin kung ano man 'yon.

"I don't want your friendship anymore."

"Okay madali naman akong kausap."

Because if that what's he only want so be it.

"No. Not that. What I mean... ayokong maging magkaibigan lang tayo Call me masungit. Yes. Pero—"

"Can you just go straight to the point?"

"I like you."

Huh?!

"Anj... I like you.."

I gulped so hard. Ngayon lang yata nangyari sa akin 'yon. Pinagpawisan ako pero nanlalamig yung pakiramdam ko. What am I going to say? Did I like him? No? Yes? What?! How do I even managed to answer him?

I'm panicking inside of me but I didn't let it consume me. Breathe, Anj. You got this!

I tried to smile pero alam kong pilit 'yon. I may look more awkward because of it.

"How am I supposed to answer you?" In my tone deaf voice but deep inside of me there's like ranging emotions that has been happening.

"Ikaw? Ano gusto mong sabihin mo."

"We just both know each other for quite some time. I-I don't even know you personally. I—"

"Relax, Anj. I'm not here waiting for your you like me or not. I just want to be known." Then he smiled.

"I don't know what to do. This was the first time someone confessed to me!" I said, panicking.

Bakit kasi siya biglang-bigla magcoconfess?!

He looked at me, amused. "Really? Sa ganda mong 'yan?"

"Stop teasing me! Di nakakatuwa."

"I'm being honest Anj." Then he fixed again his eye glasses. "You're beautiful in your own way kaya nga nagkagusto ako sayo, e."

Namula bigla yung pisngi ko. Him and his words! Gosh! Why he's so straighforward right now?

"But how?" I asked while trying to keep my emotion, building up.

Hindi ko maintindihan. Like seriously? I'm just a quiet person. I'm not trying to be known. I don't really talked to strangers even if they're being nice to me. I closed the chapter of me befriending people because it just not the way I want it to be. Kaya nga nasasabihan akong masungit.

"Because it's you."

"Are you disappointed to me for not answering you right away?"

"Hindi naman."

"I should expect it. You do not owe me with an answer." He simply said.

"Sinusungitan kita madalas..." Natawa siya ng bahagya.

"Sabi ko naman sayo 'di kita pinipilit. 'Wag mo na ngang isipin yung sinabi ko kanina. Kinakabahan lang ako nun." He chuckled.

Tinitigan ko siya ng seryoso. Gusto kong basahin yung itsura niya pero hirap ako.

Do I even like him? Maybe... yes but I know not to the extent na gusto ko siyang maging boyfriend kaagad. I like him... as a friend. I like that something rushing through my veins when he confessed to me. Ngayon ko lang yung naramdaman. Para kang nasa alapaap.