Grace
You told me about a study you once read how the brain can remain active for minutes or even hours after death. I am afraid every morning I wake that this is what has become of me. I wake up but I cannot move and I cannot feel a thing. It is by force that I breathe and contrive a single thought. What am I to make of this or anything for that matter? Should I stand, just to lay back down at the end of the day?
Is it grief that puts nails in my feet, or life itself?
It has been two months since Jamie left but I wonder now if it has been longer. It surely has but damned hope kept that ghost of my Jamie present with me even when he was never going to come back.
You keep me well and alive but is that enough? It cannot be, it never was before and so how can it be now?
I hear the door to my room open while I am sat facing away on the side of my bed.
"Hello, Grace," you say. You have been visiting me every day since Jamies death and it has been the very thing that has kept me from not leaving my bed.
The bed creaks as you sit yourself down beside me.
"I have been thinking for some time and I was wondering if you would like to come stay with me. Would that be good for you, Grace?"
It had not crossed my mind. You would probably say that staying in this place would drive me mad. But I already am so there is hardly a use in avoiding it.
"That would be beneficial, yes." I nod, facing forward only.
For the rest of the day you assist me in packing some of my belongings. When you come to visit me you manage to make me smile at times and I am grateful for that. I only wish I could appreciate you fully and for all that you are because I know that I am not. It does not feel possible for me give more of my appreciation to you with my condition at this time but you do not push me. And somehow with your patience I feel myself moving even closer to my full abundance.
When we arrive at your house it is much different than how it looked before. It has been fully built and there is no longer camp set around it and I can see it fully in the light of the setting sun now.
The air is so fresh and I let it fill my chest. Birds are silent now but I can see them sitting at the branches of trees with some guarding their nests.
I feel my soul begin to branch through me with an eagerness I have never known. Freedom.
A/N
Another short one sorryy. Also that last line makes me want to barf its so corny but Im leaving it cause it gets my point across... okay??! Xx
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Adore~ an Alias Grace fanfic~
Fanfic"...For as long as my forever lasts, I will continue to search for you, in all things, in every day I find myself breathing again." This starts around part 5 of the show. I was unhappy with how it ended so I wanted to rewrite it the way I would've l...
