The look behind those tired eyes

Chapter twenty three - Those eyes

Will Vinny

I noticed something about Rookie last night before he dozed off to a deep sleep. His eyes looked heavy. His breathing was unsteady and the colour was drained from his face. Wondering what was wrong, I asked him, but he went straight to sleep. As if he didn't want me knowing anything.

Or maybe the fucker is just exhausted.

It was something in those eyes that constantly made me fear for his life. The way they never sparkle, they've always seemed dull. Dark. Afraid.

He was afraid.

As a criminal that many people see me as; I know how fear looks. I also know what exhaustion and anxiety looks like. I have secrets, too. Ones that nobody would guess unless they got to know me. I was afraid of heights. I had panic attacks every time I was put in a cell. And I hated people. Can't stand them, never have and probably never will.

Except for the famous Rookie Chandler.

He was easy to talk to. He wasn't a chatterbox and it wasn't awkward to sit in silence with him. In fact, I think he was probably the only person, besides Stella, I could actually be around without getting tired or search for an excuse to get the hell away from. It was...peaceful, perhaps.

Maybe it was the way his past had affected him. Maybe it was why we're on the run.
Maybe it was those eyes.
But everything about him somehow seemed...worryingly. I noticed he was always on edge, even in his sleep. I noticed him jump at little things, like a door opening, or a window slamming shut. Or how fast paced rain would hit the ceiling suddenly.

I even noticed how wide his eyes were the first time I mentioned my sister's death. The killing herself part. There wasn't just shock in those eyes, it was...something I couldn't explain. Guilt, maybe? Sorrow? I don't know. All I knew is that Rookie was suffering silently, and there was nothing I could do to help unless he asked.

But I know first hand that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

Now, sitting here with him, I know how awful it is for people that want to help you but you won't let them. Even if the guy never said anything to me about his history or shit, I still know the signs. From his jumping, his disturbing screams in the middle of the night, his twitching in his sleep, the way he's always zoned out, or how he seems to always be on edge...

He has PTSD.

I didn't know from what, but it was obvious. As someone who's been diagnosed with it only just last year.

I wish nothing but peace for him now.

And maybe I could be that peace for him, if nothing or no one else offered it to him.

A/N!!

Not exactly sure how many people read these or the book in general but I appreciate those who do! Thank you sm!!

I hope Rookie and Will's story isn't as boring as I believe it is, sometimes I wonder if I should rewrite some chapters and other times I feel like I should rewrite the book in general.

I have other books in the making rn and maybe i'll publish them, too. If you like this book then please let me know if you think I should publish other ones.

Anyways, I hope you're enjoying the book so far! Please let me know if any changes or so should be made, except for the whole gay thing.

P.s, I might write a book about Will's backstory.

— Ray :)