The look behind those tired eyes

Chapter twenty seven - I'm sorry

Rookie Chandler

Three days. It's been three days since Will left.

What have I done now?

I don't remember a single thing. Was I an ass? Did I hurt him? Physically or mentally? Did I say any hurtful things to him?

How difficult was I?

All of these questions were engraved into my brain. I needed to know what happened and where he had gone. It felt lonely without him here.

I'm sorry, Willy.

All that I remember was blacking out after Will had stormed in the room. I vaguely remember him pushing Bruce against the wall in a death grip. Then everything went black, and when I wake up, he's gone. They're both gone. I was also left in this room all by myself. I refused to move. Not if there was a chance Will would come back. I have a feeling I would not like having Bruce here when Will was gone, either.

I needed him to come back.

He needed to know that I'm sorry. Even if it means dog shit to him.

Please come back, Will Vinny.

Please...

Will Vinny

I stared at the hole I had to crawl in and out of. Once with Rookie, and once without. It was a dreadful time getting out of there while he was still stuck in that grimy room. In that grimy bed. Where that grimy bastard had been with him.

The only reason I came back was because of the simple thought; What if Bruce was with him right now?

I needed to do something if he was. I needed to see Rooks.

The longer I stared at that hole the quicker it made me realize just how much he may be needing me. So after my long stare-off with the sewer, I go in the same route I took to get to the den.

I could hear muffled cries the further I went in. It made me up-my-speed—as much as I could while crawling. Bringing Rookie through here with his sprained ankle was tough as fuck. The crying got louder and louder as I reached the door to the hallway that led to the place. When I opened it, it was clear that Rookie was the one crying.

Even after all he said to me, I felt bad.

And then, there he was. His face buried into his knees as he rocked back and forth, mumbling incoherent words into his arms that were wrapped around his face and knees. I walked over to him but I wanted to run to him and hold him. I had to keep my calm.

He couldn't hear me through his sniffles and muffles. The rocking made me dizzy from how fast he was going. So, I spoke smoothly and chose my next words very carefully, "Rooks?" I hesitate to put
my hand on his shoulder, letting it hover over it instead. His crying doesn't stop so I slowly and gently lower it until it finally made contact with him—resting on his shoulder. He stops crying and hyperventilating.

"Will?" He said through sniffles. I feel the tears prickling my eyes, hearing his sad and raspy voice. He doesn't move from his spot, but he stopped rocking—all with a gentle hold on his shoulder.

"I'm right here. I'm right here, little C," I say to him. Look at me, Rooks.

"Will..." He starts fiddling with his hands. "W-What did I s-say to you?" He asks me. That raspy voice of his making it obvious his throat is hurting just by speaking. It's croaky and barely heard in a whisper. I sit on the bed with him so that I could see him, but he buries his head more. "Hey, it's okay," I say, knowing that he feels guilty for what happened. I know he doesn't remember.

I gently reach for his arms to try and pry them away from his face. At first he tensed up and refused to do it, but he loosened his grip just as quickly as I touched them. "Rooks. I need you to know that I'm not mad at you," I start. "I want you to know that I didn't believe what you had told me, okay?"

"What did I say? What did I do?"

"You...blamed everything on me. Said it was all my fault that we're basically in prison underground. But I knew you didn't mean any of it because, well, right now you can't even remember it. You told me before about your blackouts and how you feel like a totally different person. Why would I be mad at you for that?" I slowly moved his arms away from his knees with both of my hands.

"There will be nothing in this world," I slide my hands down to his.

"That will make me regret taking care of you in need," I hold my hands in his.

"Until one day we part ways and I will never see this face again," I squeeze them.

"The face that has made me feel like I'm someone else, myself," He squeezes back.

"When I tell you I'm not going anywhere," He flattens his knees on the bed.

"I mean it, Rooks," I scoot a little closer.

"You can't chase me away," He looks into my eyes.

"So please," I look into his.

"Don't blame yourself for something you can't control," We hold each other's gaze.

"I will help you...but you have to let me," He scoots closer to me.

"No matter what, Rookie Chandler," We're inches apart, nose to nose almost.

"There's only so much room in my heart for someone. That someone is you." I bring my hand to his cheek and softly rub my thumb on it.

"I'm sorry." He said before he leaned in and kissed me.