𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐁𝐋

𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧, 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔

Milo
*Depression mention*

"Dad... I'm here again." I say dismally as I stare at the the stone with my fathers name, and birth date and death on it. It has several flowers laying against it, some have fallen to the ground while others have died.

"It's been 3 years since you've been gone." I find my place on the ground, sitting on my calves, my eyes still staring at the standing stone. I haven't visited him in a long time, maybe a year or two.

"I should probably catch you up on things." I say as I think of where I should start.

"Mom had gotten a boyfriend during my junior year, Daryl. She loved him, he took her out, brought her things, they spent a lot of quality time together." I pause, "But he was a terrible guy to me. He absolutely hated me."

I never understood why. He would always say I had everything he wanted. Maybe he was jealous, or something along those lines.

"I never did anything to him, even if I wanted to I didn't have the motivation to. During that time I had depression, and he was really wasn't making anything better. Mom helped me as much as she could, whenever she could. She got me into therapy, kept me outside and always tried to up lift my spirits. Somedays she did, somedays she didn't. Luckily, that kept me away from her boyfriend nearly all the time."

After a matter of months, It slowly went away. Not completely, sometimes I would get my episodes of it, but I think I'm ok now.

"I'm so glad that she did what she did with me, or I don't know where I'd be right now. Maybe I would have dropped out, or died. Who knows. I love her for the time she took with me, and the patience. I'm so thankful for her as a mother, and I love her."

But

"I do love her, but one thing I don't think I can forgive her for is the fact that I told her, not once but multiple times about what he was doing to me, and she said that I was trying to ruin her relationship. He would scream and hit me whenever he got the chance. He's eyes were full of hatred when he looked at me."

I don't know how she never caught his glimpses at me.
Nothing but pure hatred was expressed when he looked at me.

"Two weeks before Christmas during my senior year, Daryl was told that my mom was working late so he decided that he would attempt to take my life, which he obviously failed since I'm still here. But It was me who was on the phone, that told him she was working over time. Because I knew he would do something, and she immediately stopped him once she saw. She put him in jail and filed a restraining order."

For a year and a half she wouldn't believe me when I told her he was hitting and trying to ruin my life.
She would always say I'm trying to ruin her relationship, or say I'm lying.

"I don't know if I can forgive her for that."

It was silent for awhile before a voice emerged from behind me.

"And you don't have to. I just want to know that I'm deeply sorry." My head turns and I see my mother.
She has deeply remorseful expression painted on her face.

"Mom? I thought you don't visit dad."

"I do, from time to time." She walks towards me and sits down next to me.

"I thought you wanted to get over dad."

"He told me to, he told me to move on. I tried, really hard I tried to. But you know the saying, penguin's mate for life." She smiled at the grave before pulling out flowers, Lily's to be specific. "His favorite were Lily's."

"But he said his favorite were roses."

"To you, because he knew that you'd just say your favorite was Lily's too. You are a daddy's boy." She used her free hand and ruffled my hair with a cheeke grin.
"What is your favorite flower?"

"Roses, red specifically. What about you? What's your favorite flower?"

"Tulips... Y'know your father would buy me a bouquet of tulips, and keep one so he knows when to buy me another bouquet. Now I do the same" She places the flower on the tombstone.

"No wonder there were flowers all around the house, all the time."

"Yea, he was a lovely man. I hate that god took him away from us." She sighed as she placed the flowers down in front of his tombstone.

I don't believe in god, I never have. It's not that I hate the idea of him. I just don't believe that he's a real being. There is a being that can control the time, life, death of people, see into the future and more. It's hard for me to believe it. But of course I don't shit on people that do believe in him, nor do I think that I'm better.
I respect in everyone's religion. But as an atheist, not many people respect my perspective.

"I know you hate me, I should have believed you. I hate that I was so oblivious by it all. I should have known, and you wouldn't of had to deal with that for so long.
And I wouldn't forgive me either, but one day I hope I can make it up to you." She stands up and rotates, before she can take a step away I had stood up and hugged her.

"I don't hate you mom, I never could hate you. Without you helping me, I don't know where I'd be right now.
I love you, but I can't forgive you just yet."

"And I respect that." She hugs me. "This is crazy, you initiating a hug is rare. Don't you hate hugs?"

"I only hug a handful of people." I pull back.

"Well, I'm happy I'm one of them. Anyway, I must be going, I'm having afternoon coffee with Belle." My mom places a kiss atop of my forehead before waving me off.