July 2nd 2024
The goodbye
What do you pack when you have four minutes to leave your husband?
Do you pack anything at all?
Golden glow lays along the hilltops outside of the window, tall trees casting shadows that crawl long toward the rustic fencing that boarders the cottage. Last moments of sunshine ooze into the room, kissing the curve of my shoulders. I stand in the centre of the room, with my phone in hand. My knees feel hollow, and my unfocused eyes are dry.
I watch as the countdown ticks and ticks and ticks. I wonder if i could simply freeze time, stay in the place where the honey light touches my face. In the place where the pink clouds rest within the arms of the mountains. This place, where each corner of the room illuminates with love. I would hold time in my arms, cherish the moments we would lay and he'd trace the lines on my palm, or when the room would fill with laughter because I would hold his face so close to mine that our vision would become blurry.
Instead, I stand here. My breathing is shallow and shaking as I watch time slip away on a screen.
4m:01s, 4m:00s, 3m:59s, 3m:58s, 3m:57s
I close my eyes so tightly, I hold my hands to my head and squeeze. Perhaps If I do this tight enough I can pause time? Noah rushes in, breathless and glass eyed. He pulls me into him, and cradles my head. He smells like cigarettes. 3m:47s. The tears start slowly, and then all at once. His faded red t-shirt deepening with each flood of emotion.
3m:38s
"Is-is there anything we can do, it can't be this way?" Noahs words tremble.
3m:25s
I open my mouth to respond but the words don't come out, I can't comprehend what is happening. Tightly, Noah holds me whilst I sob. Memories flick through my mind of the life we have built, the abundance of love and laughter. We knew this day was coming, but nothing could've prepared us for the reality of this. Lifting my head, I cradle his face within my hands. I kiss his nose, and his flushed cheeks, tasting his salty tears on my lips. We take a deep breath and hold each others gaze, almost like we are memorising every detail. My eyes examine the freckles on his tanned skin, the soft waves of blues within his eyes and his crooked nose, changing shape in every direction he looks. I drink it all in and squeeze my eyes closed one last time.
2m:19s
"Lets stand outside and feel the sun on our faces. We can't just stay in here and watch this stupid phone" I exclaimed, with more anger than expected. I throw my phone onto the sofa beside me. "Maybe we can pretend that it isn't happening?" Desperation lingers each word as Noah nods and takes my hand. The breeze is welcomed, and we're now stood on the mossy pathway. Cars pass by, and I can hear people laughing in the distance. Noahs arm wrap around me, and I feel his breathing deepen.
Less than a minute remaining, and there we stood. At the edge of the cottage, final moments of the last sunset we would share. Noah is holding his phone now, and we watch as the numbers go lower.
30s
"Clementine, I promise I will spend everyday searching for you" Noah says, his arm still wrapped around me.
"I will ask every person who will listen if they have seen the red haired girl with that weird laugh" His laugh is struggled, and he squeezes me. I smile and look at his face again, making sure I remember every part. Our eyes close as the seconds get smaller, and smaller.
