Blue Rose - Reneé Rapp

Complicating Things

Y/N leaned against the balcony railing, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the warmth radiating from her skin. Renee had just finished her other set of songs, and the rooftop buzzed with low laughter and conversation. Everything around her seemed perfect—almost too perfect. Yet, inside, Y/N's thoughts were swirling, a storm she couldn't quite calm.

As the evening progressed, Y/N found herself next to Renee again. Their conversation flowed easily, punctuated by Renee's teasing and gentle touches. But despite the playful energy, a sense of unease was growing within Y/N, triggered by memories she'd tried to bury.

She excused herself, slipping quietly away to the bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and leaned against the sink, staring at her reflection. Her breath came in shallow gasps as Sierra's unwanted kiss played on repeat in her mind. She could still feel the roughness of Sierra's lips, the way she had been cornered without a choice. The memory crawled under her skin, making her feel dirty and helpless.

Her chest tightened, and she sank onto the closed toilet seat, hands trembling as she tried to steady her breathing. The alcohol in her system made everything feel heavier, more overwhelming. She pressed her hands to her temples, forcing herself to focus on something else. Renee. What if she could have that with Renee instead? It wouldn't be like Sierra—it would be right, natural, something she actually wanted. But was she ready for that? To kiss Renee, to be with her in that way?

She sat there, heart racing, unsure of what she even wanted. Would being with Renee make it easier, or would it only complicate things? Y/N shook her head, trying to chase away the thoughts. After a few more moments, she forced herself to stand, splashing cold water on her face to ground herself before leaving the bathroom.

When Y/N returned to the rooftop, she found Renee laughing with Towa. They were sitting on a couch, leaned into each other, their faces glowing with joy. For a second, Y/N paused, her stomach doing a little flip. Why couldn't she just let herself enjoy moments like this?

Towa noticed her first, grinning wide as Y/N approached. "Hey, there you are. We were just talking about you." She nudged Renee with a wink, and Renee looked up, her eyes soft and inviting.

Y/N chuckled nervously. "Yeah? All good things, I hope."

Towa smirked, leaning back with a teasing glint in her eye. "Mostly. But, Y/N, I gotta ask—do you have a lot of girls hanging around you? Because you seem like the type to have a lap full at all times."

Renee blushed at Towa's words, glancing at Y/N, clearly curious but slightly embarrassed. Y/N, caught off guard, felt the heat rise in her face. For a moment, she froze, unsure how to respond. Did Renee think that too?

Clearing her throat, Y/N tried to play it cool. "Honestly... I avoid that kind of attention. I'd only get close like that with someone I trust, someone I really like." She hesitated, her mind flashing back to Sierra. "Otherwise, things can get messy. Like what happened recently with Sierra."

At the mention of Sierra, both Renee and Towa's expressions shifted from teasing to concern. Renee tilted her head slightly, her brows knitting together. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.

Y/N's heart raced as she realized she'd opened up a can of worms she wasn't sure she could handle. Her hands trembled slightly as she took a breath, trying to stay calm. "At the bar that day, im sure you saw the news, Sierra... kissed me. It wasn't something I wanted, but she wouldn't stop, and I didn't know how to handle it in the moment. It's fine it's just... sometimes I feel like a piece of meat, and I'm not this type of person."

Renee's face darkened, her teasing demeanor vanishing. She glanced at Towa, who gave her a subtle nod before standing up.

"I'm gonna grab another drink," Towa said, her voice casual, but Y/N knew it was an excuse. Towa shot Renee a knowing look, giving her the space to talk to Y/N one-on-one.