Blue Rose - Reneé Rapp

I Can't Sleep

Renee woke suddenly in the middle of the night, her heart heavy and her thoughts racing. She glanced over at Y/N, lying peacefully next to her, bathed in the soft light of the moon. Everything about the moment was serene, but inside, Renee felt a storm brewing.

There are so many things I want to tell her... she thought, her mind swirling with all the unspoken words, emotions she hadn't yet found the courage to express. She knew it wasn't the right time—not yet—but still, it was suffocating to keep it all inside. Y/N sang for her when this happened to her so she thought, why not do the same?

Quietly, Renee slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Y/N. She padded into the living room, where her piano stood waiting. Sitting down, she let her fingers hover over the keys for a moment, her thoughts still tumbling in her head. Without thinking, her fingers pressed down, playing soft, random chords. The familiar feel of the keys soothed her, but it wasn't enough to silence the thoughts.

As she continued to play, the chords slowly evolved into a melody, and before she knew it, she started to hum. Words began to form, tentative at first, but soon her feelings found a voice. Hours passed, and in the quiet of the night, she had created the beginnings of a song—a song for Y/N, full of all the things she wanted to say but couldn't.

-

"You caught me by surprise,
When I wasn't even looking,
Didn't see you coming,
Now I'm caught, can't turn away.

I tried to hide it,
But you saw right through,
All the fears I carried,
Now I'm losing them with you..."

-

Renee's voice trailed off as she finished the first half of the song, her fingers still pressing softly on the keys. She sighed, feeling both relieved and conflicted. She knew there was more to say, but she couldn't quite get it all out.

Behind her, Y/N stirred awake, finding the space next to her empty. She blinked, confused, before hearing the faint sound of the piano drifting from the living room. Quietly, she got up, following the sound until she found Renee sitting at the piano, bathed in moonlight.

"Renee?" Y/N's voice was soft, sleepy but concerned.

Renee flinched slightly, turning to look at her. "Oh, hey... sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Y/N smiled, stepping closer. "You didn't. I just noticed you weren't there... What's going on?"

Renee sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts, I guess." She gestured at the piano. "I started playing and... well, I ended up writing something."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, intrigued but still half-asleep. "You wrote something?" She approached the piano, leaning on it. "What is it?"

Renee hesitated, her fingers grazing the keys again. "It's not finished... but it's a song. I, uh... I wrote it for you."

Y/N's eyes softened, her expression melting into something warm and inviting. "For me?" She sat next to Renee on the piano bench, their knees brushing.

Renee nodded, feeling a lump in her throat. "Yeah... Do you want to hear it?"

Y/N smiled and gave a small nod, waiting quietly.

Renee took a deep breath and started playing again, her voice barely above a whisper at first, but growing stronger as the lyrics poured out of her.

-

"I never said the words,
But I feel them all the same,
They're buried deep inside,
And I wanna know if you feel the same.

I wanna let you in,
But I'm scared of what I'll find,
Will you stay with me?
Even when I try to hide?"

-

As Renee finished the last note, she looked over at Y/N, nervous for her reaction. The silence that followed was almost deafening, but Y/N's eyes were filled with something Renee couldn't quite place.

"That's beautiful," Y/N whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She reached out, gently brushing her fingers against Renee's arm. "I think I know how to finish it."

Renee blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Y/N smiled, moving her hands to the piano. She played a soft chord, her fingers picking up where Renee had left off. Then, Y/N started to sing, her voice blending perfectly with the melody Renee had created. It was as if she was responding to the words Renee had written, giving her own answer to the questions buried in the lyrics.

-

"You don't have to hide,
I see the way you feel,
You don't have to say it,
I already know it's real.

I'll stay with you tonight,
And every night to come,
You don't have to wonder,
You're already the one."

-

Renee watched in awe as Y/N continued to sing, their voices harmonizing together. Y/N was answering her in the only way they knew how—through music. The connection between them felt even stronger, more real, as the song flowed between them, both of them adding their own hearts into the melody.

When Y/N finished, she turned to Renee, her expression soft. "There. I think that's how it should end."

Renee's heart was racing, her chest tight with emotions she could barely process. "Y/N... that was..." She couldn't even finish her sentence, too overwhelmed by the moment.

Y/N grinned, bumping her shoulder against Renee's playfully. "Guess that makes us co-writers now, huh?"

Renee laughed softly, leaning into Y/N's shoulder. "I guess it does."

There was a beat of silence between them, the weight of what had just happened hanging in the air. Neither of them spoke, but in that moment, it felt like they'd shared something deeper than words—something that neither of them could deny.

Y/N shifted closer, resting her head on Renee's shoulder. "You don't have to say anything. I get it. I really do."

Renee felt her eyes sting, overwhelmed by the quiet understanding between them. She didn't need to say the million things on her mind just yet. Y/N already knew.

And that was enough. For now.