Story starts with the the Harvest Festival. Wally Wackford stands on stage with a microphone and speaks dramatically.
Wally Wackford: "Welcome, I say-a, welcome-a—"
Ray: "Wasn't this guy from the commercial we saw the other day?"
Alex: "i Think his name was, Willy WockFuck?"
Wally Wackford: "—all to Wrath-a Ring’s-a annual-a Harvest-a Moon-a... a-Festival! To kick things up, we have the great prince Stolas-a, here to usher in this here Pain Games!"
Stolas takes the microphone from Wally Wackford.
Stolas: "How kind, Wackford."
Alex: "Ooooh, thats his name."
Stolas: "Greetings, tiny Wrath Ring Imps! I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor that continue to feed the citizens of Hell!"
A crowd of Imps glare at him and boos are heard.
Stolas: "I'm happy to kick off the start of these games that will challenge the toughest Imps to show their skill in dominance. Good luck to you all! Especially that sexy little one there... Yoo-hoo! Blitzy!"
Stolas waves at him while Blitzo glares.
Blitzo: "Ugh. Fuck me."
Ray: "He already does that."
A gun goes off and the games begin. Moxxie gets trampled with a yelp as the other imps race down the trail. Striker climbs up a wooden ramp structure while Blitzo leaps down ahead of him. Ray just teleports. Moxxie tries to catch up. He claws at the structure and falls into a small puddle. He gets chewed up and thrashed by a monstrous black and white shark. In the next shot, Striker grins smugly at Blitzo who has his legs, arms and horns tied behind him. A muscular Imp holds a rope and grins at a scared Moxxie. Striker, Ray, Blitzo and Moxxie team up in a tug of war match. Moxxie falls into the water and the shark attacks him again. The scene cuts to a wrestling match in the mud between Blitzo and Striker. A group of imps do a football huddle on top of Moxxie. The shark leaps over the fence and begins to elbow drop Moxxie.
Moxxie: "MOTHERFUC--!!"
Cut back to the stage.
Wally Wackford: "I say, I say, for the first year ever, we have a tie for winner of the Harvest Moon Pain Games!"
Stolas takes the microphone from Wally Wackford.
Stolas: "The winners are… Striker, aaaaand my darling Blitzy!"
Stolas walks onto the stage and does a pose as the crowd cheers.
Blitzø: "Just say my name RIGHT! Fuckin' dick!"
Blitzo walks onto the stage in frustration. Ray, Alex, Moxxie and Millie watch from the wooden bleachers.
Moxxie: "Alright. So, he has the “physical advantage.” I’m better at other things, like singing!"
Ray: "you sure about that?"
He points to the stage
Striker: "I'd like to take this opportunity to sing a quick song I wrote just now, about me winnin'."
Striker strums the guitar he pulled out.
Moxxie: "Oh, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Alex: "HAHAH, the guy is better at you in every category!!"
Blitzo arrives with a slice of cheese on a stick and sits next to Moxxie and Millie in the bleachers. He eats the cheese.
Blitzø: "Isn’t this guy great?"
Moxxie: "False!"
Blitzø: "It’s gonna be nice workin' with him."
Blitzo pours hot sauce on his cheese and takes another bite.
Moxxie: "Working with him...? WHAT?!"
Blitzø: "Yeaaaah! I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P."
Moxxie: You asked… But…
Moxxie looks visibly hurt as Blitzo looks at him in confusion.
Millie: "Mox, I think you’ve had enough, for now. Let’s head back to the house and get you clean."
Moxxie tears up and leaves with Millie as Striker finishes his song.
Ray: "....So is anyone gonna question the fact Blitz put hot sauce on his cheese?"
The crowd cheers once Striker finishes his song.
Striker: "Thank you. You're too kind."
Timeskip
Stolas magically flips through the grimoire.
Stolas: "My dear commoners of the Ring of Wrath! I, Stolas of the Ars Goetia, hereby curse this year’s harvest with the glow of the true Harvest Moon!"
The clouds swirl as Stolas creates a portal. The portal reveals a glowing orange full moon in the sky. The crowd oohs in wonder, while Alex and Ray watch from a distance, just on a bench. They were enjoying the light show till Ray heard a noise.
Sallie May: "Hey there cowboys, do any of y'all wanna meet me over by th-"
Alex: "I don't fuck eith trannys, now go fuck your brothers or something."
Sallie Mae leaves looking a little hurt.
Ray: "You hear that?"
Alex: "You mean the sound of you being a constant asshole, yeah, I can hear it."
Ray: "No-I. I heard something in that building over there."
Alex: "Probobly some farmer and his daughter having sex or something."
Ray: "Oh yeah. Probobly...."
