JUST ONE MORE CHANCE

chapter 8

Next day at school

FREEN'S POV

It's lunch time and we are sitting in the cafeteria. We are discussing about our assignments which we need to submit before our summer vacation.

"Why do our teachers give us this much assignments to write?" Nam said in irritation.

"I have no idea." I muttered, pulling out my sandwich. "Mr. Taw just gave us another essay and on top of that we already have our math assignment."

"Have you guys forgotten about physics and biology assignments?" said Tee.

Irin rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Teachers love piling everything on right before vacations."

"Right! It's like they're all in some secret club, trying to see who can give us the most work." I said taking another bite of my sandwich. "I'm seriously gonna die. And that chemistry worksheet? It seems impossible."

Becky sighed," And we've got that English reading quiz tomorrow. Remember?"

And we just groaned remembering that.

Suddenly someone spoke behind me.

"Hi Becky!" Someone greeted Becky. When I turn to look at that person... It turned out to be Mark. And I frowned. What the hell is he doing here.

"Hi Mark" Becky greeted him back with a smile.

"How are you?" Mark asked her again ignoring all of us.

"I'm fine Mark. What are you doing here?" Asked Becky.

"N-nothing. I just wanted to ask if you would like to go out with me for dinner tonight" he asked her nervously.

Okay! Now I'm boiling. Is he out of his mind? He is asking Becky out?

"Sorry Mark. I have many assignments to complete and I don't have any time for all this" Becky rejected his offer politely.

Upon Hearing this his face became pale and his smile dropped.

"Okay! Sorry to disturb you. Have a nice day Becky!" He said trying to gather himself and left.

I feel so happy right now. Becky rejected him directly. But how dare him to ask her out like that!! I wish I could punch his face. I was so scared thinking that Becky would say Yes. But when she said No, I felt so relieved. And my mind went back to last night.... How she was resting her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her. That feeling was so good. Last night was really something else.

When I was in my own thoughts, smiling like a crazy person, Heng called me,"Hey Freen? Why are you smiling like that?" And everyone is looking at me suspiciously.

I just cleaned my throat and said, "Nothing dude. Don't look at me like that and eat your food."

"But seriously guys. That boy has guts to ask Becky out like this in front of us" said Nam and then she looked at me.

I don't know why but I felt a little hurt hearing that. Someone has the guts to express their feelings directly. And I don't have that much guts. But something about how Nam looked at me was different. She looked at me like she wanted to say something. It's like she is expecting me to say something.

Weird....

But why am I even hurt or jealous or whatever this feeling is? And What am I supposed to say? That I'm here confused as hell about my feelings? That something had changed last night and I don't know how to make sense of it? That for the first time, I am not sure if I see her as just a friend anymore? I couldn't say that. At least not now.

Since last night, a question is continuously bothering me.

Am I in love with her?

This question hits me like a wave every time I think about it. And I don't know how to answer it. It isn't some romantic movie where the hero or heroine suddenly realises their feelings and everything makes sense. This is messy and complicated. I don't even know if what I'm feeling is real or maybe I am just caught up in some emotions. Maybe it is just because of the movie.

Still, I'm not sure. What if I'm just confusing comfort and familiarity for something deeper? What if this is just a phase, a temporary crush that would pass with time? And what if, by admitting my feelings, I'll end up ruining everything we have?

But as I looked at her, I realised that whatever I'm feeling is true. It's genuine. There is no way to deny how much she means to me. I care about her more than I care about anyone else. I want her to be happy and the thought of her being with someone else is making my chest tightened in a way that I can't quite explain. I'm afraid to lose her.

And I know I have always been attracted to her. The way I feel happy whenever I see her smile. The way I secretly admire her beauty. It isn't just a phase or a normal crush. It isn't just for the movie either. It is her. It has always been her. I just hadn't let myself see it until now. No matter how many times my mind refuses to accept it, my heart knows I just want her. And I do love her.

But how am I supposed to express my feelings to her? Will she agree to date me? And even if she agrees, will my parents accept it?

I need to be sure before asking her out. I don't want to give her any false hope or break her heart at any cost. I need to ask my parents first.

To be continued.....