5 of swords

The counter

The last bit of cab swirled frustratingly in her IKEA wine glass. Her boney elbows pressed uncomfortably into the white cold stone of her countertops. Her palm pressed her cheek unattractively upward, dejected.

How had she gotten here again?

Hadn't she had this fight before? It had been with lovers, friends, bosses, teams but it always ended the same. "You're being selfish."

"You aren't a team player."

"You just don't think of my needs."

This time had been her husband. They had both had really long days at work but she really wanted to go out. It didn't need to be anything fancy. She had even offered to just do take out. But he just wanted a quiet night reading by himself. She got that he needed alone time sometimes, especially after 5 years of marriage. But she always felt like she was bending over backward for everyone else and the time that she asks for the thing she needs she gets shot down.

But then if this kept happening, in every relationship, in every job, maybe she was the problem. Maybe she did ask for too much? Or perhaps it wasn't the asking but the not listening when others asked. Maybe if she simply listened more then when she asked it wouldn't seem so momentous?

It felt like a social math problem that had so many variables it was nearly impossible to solve. And she never was good at math, especially when you started mixing numbers and letters.

She tipped the last sip of red liquid into her mouth, picked up the green glass bottle next to her that she hadn't bothered to put away and filled her glass again.