Just a doll , Charlotte TNN angst

Chapter 5

Title: distractions

Warnings: sh, suicidal thoughts, over thinking, potential panic attack
If any of this disturbs you PLEASE don't read!!!

Charlottes PoV:

I sat still on the bathroom floor , I couldn't bear to move. My arms are hurting. I needed help. But I had no one. If I told anyone I'd be a horrible friend! How could I put someone through my troubles as well as their own that's awful.

I sat and pondered the choices on what to do. I didn't want to clean. But if I didn't there's chances of.... I wouldn't mind it. I mean , I don't think anyone would mind it? But my children. They would. And Carly... and Marjorie.. would they though? My children are young.. they could forget me easily. Marjorie has autumn and Reece.. she has a boyfriend and another best friend. Carly has everyone in the workplace.. and Reece is her other older guardian.. I can't let myself die. That's pathetic. I haven't had a bad life. No. I'm just dramatic. My dad loved me. My mum died but it's fine. I was young , my dad developed drinking issues but he stilled loved me. He loved us all. I have amazing brothers , although my eldest brother killed himself. It set us all back.. both of their deaths but it wasn't a hard life. Deaths hard but it's easily overlooked with a right mindset. I have a good mindset. Why have I done this?

My mind continued thinking I couldn't stop , my breathing quickened before I could reach for the blade again to calm my thoughts my phone rang. I looked at it. It's noise drilling through me. I looked at the caller ID. Winter? Why would he be calling me. I looked at the phone now in my hand and the blade in the other. I paced my eyes between the two. I sighed trying to quickly steady my breathing. I answered. "Hello..?" I wait for a response "ah Charlotte! Sorry for calling you I just wanted to ask you something if that's quite alright with you?" It was as if I could see his awkward question face through the phone. It calmed me. "Mhm?" I hummed , I couldn't speak that much I didn't want to worry him. "I was just wondering about .. well this might seem awfully sensitive but you and your ex husband? Did you 2 happen to have a honeymoon trip?" The question confused "no winter I'm sorry , we didn't." My voice was quiet and soft as if talking while a sleeping child was around. "Ahh okay then Charlotte I was just calling to ask for any tips or suggestions you'd have but it's all quite okay!" I smiled. Winter was always a gentlemen even when being rude and sarcastic. "Okay then" I chuckled weakly "I'll leave you to it then" just as I was about to hang up the phone winter replied.

"Charlotte? Are you alright?" It startled me. I didn't know what to say. I panicked. "Yes I am sorry winter I've got to go uh.. my girls are whining." I hung up the phone the second I finished speaking. He would sooner or later catch on to that lie. I felt bad doing it. However , I felt calmer than I did before. Was it the fact I had spoke to someone? Once again as if on que my phone started ringing again. Carly? Why was everyone calling me? Was there something I was missing? Possibly. I'm not sure. I answered. "Are you alright Carly?"
"OMG CHAR! GUESS WHAT??"
"What?" I was confused. Is there something I'm missing? Carly went on to tell me all about her new talking stage. It upset me that she's doing this much for a boyfriend that might end up hurting her. I don't want her to waste the rest of the teen years for a boy that could be the worst. They disgust me. I don't find men disgusting only boys. Even if they are 34 they are no man if their only pleasure is manipulating women.

Charlotte's PoV: -after Carly's call-

"Okay bye Carly , I'll see you tomorrow." She had kept me on call for 2 hours now , it was refreshing hearing someone , I'm glad she was calling me. However I still hadn't cleaned my arms , just as I was 4 hours ago sat alone in the bathroom. I thought about cleaning up my cuts but I couldn't do it. I wanted them to hurt. To feel the pain. I-

*ping*
My phone went off
*ping*
Again?
*ping*
I grabbed my phone again my jaw widening at the message I had been sent- it was from an unknown number? I decided to check their profile it had to be someone I knew? I clicked on it , being shocked couldn't describe me right now why was? Really? Was this to the wrong person? To me? This-

Cliff hanger 😜
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
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