Healing Sophie

32

Victor paced in front of the small building in front of him. Though it was nestled just between a small coffee shop and a salon, it was more daunting than he would care to admit. He could feel his mind going numb with fear. A fear he hadn't felt in a long time, not since the last time his asshole of a father hit him. Victor's body had always struggled with being stuck in fight or flight, and there in front of that building, it was heavily leaning towards flight. He could leave then and there and never return. Never face his demons.

A tiny, soft hand intertwined with his callused hand and he sighed. That was why he really couldn't leave. How could he run away with those brown eyes peering up at him like that, like he was her own personal hero?

"We don't have to do this, Vic. We can just go somewhere else," Sophie said gently. He was up first on the date list and when Sophie had suggested AA and dinner, it nearly broke him. She was way too good for him. She had said it could help her as well to cope with her mom's death, so he couldn't refuse when she offered. He could never say no to her.

Victor peered at the glass door and frowned. He needed this. They needed this. He wanted to be the man that his new family knew he could be, that his mother and sister knew he could be. He would choose to keep fighting. He gave Sophie's hand a squeeze and opened the door before walking in towards his awaiting new self. He would always keep fighting.

The two of them found seats in the back of the room. Victor hoped it would keep the attention off of him so he could just observe. There were quite a few people there, nearing twenty or so with more still coming in. He noticed that each person either held a caffeinated drink in their hand or they smelled of smoke. Trading a vice for another vice. Three people sat at the front of the room next to a podium with their table facing everyone else. Victor felt his nerves starting to spiral. He desperately reached for Sophie's hand, needing something, anything to anchor him. He looked at her and took in her beautiful features. She seemed riddled with her own nerves as well. At least they had each other to make it less scary.

"Hello, everyone. We will be starting in just a few minutes. Please find your seats," an older man called out from the microphone on the podium. Everyone settled down and turned their attention to him. "Welcome to the New Hope group of Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is Greg and I am an alcoholic. I will be guiding this meeting tonight."

"Hi, Greg," the room said in harmony.

"Let's open with our Serenity Prayer."

Victor and Sophie sat back as Greg guided the room through the serenity prayer and though Victor wasn't religious, it felt different. It felt like there was a deep understanding of one another in the room and he felt better.

"Now, if there are any new members, please stand and introduce yourself."

Sophie nudged Victor gently, giving him an encouraging smile. He took a deep breath and stood, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Hi, my name is Victor and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Victor," everyone greeted. He sat and felt his heart buzzing from the nerves and the excitement.

"Sarah here will now read a short passage from Chapter 5 of the A.A Big Book."

A lady stood and replaced the man at the podium. "Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Sarah."

"This is from Chapter 5:

If we are to live,

We must be free of anger

It may be a dubious luxury of normal men,

but for alcoholics, it's a poison

If were are to live, we must be free of anger"