You are my sunshine ✴ (Mesut Özil fanfic)

This is hell..

"You..?" I said surprised. "Shit shit.." I heard Sergio say, like he changed his mind telling me. "Umm.. Don't be shy to.. Express your feelings you know.. Uhh.. It's not bad saying what you.. Feel.." I told him trying not make this moment awkward. But I couldn't. This moment was awkward even if I wanted it or not. This is the craziest thing I have ever lived, I swear! Why.. Now?? Now that I have Mathieu loving me and also me loving him.. Why did he tell me now? And that moment, I remembered when he told me that he likes me the first time. That last night at Madrid.. Ughh.. "Sergio.. Are you there?" I asked since I couldn't hear him. "Can we just forget what happened?" He begged. "Uhh.. No.. Actually no! I gotta know the.. Reason why and when it all started and.. I don't know what else, I just know that I got to know!" I told him one hundred percent sure. "Please Mes I.." He said. I interrupted saying "No! C'mon now.. Just do it for me, we are friends so long.. Don't hide anything.. OK?". "Fine.. Mesut I.. I started loving you from the moment we met.. It was like.. Love on the first sight.. Your skills, your adorable character.. That humour.. You were always there for me.. Your big dark eyes.. Damn, Marcelo was so right this morning. Those eyes really drive me crazy in love whenever I stare at them.. And you are already so handsome and nice.. But I was so shy to tell you. I was too scared of what they were going to say. When I finally got the courage to tell you, you didn't even pay attention. I thought that I should give up, that if I told you again what I feel, you wouldn't mind for once again, but I couldn't. Then, that Mathieu appeared. Almost like a threat to me. You seemed to be really close friends from day one. And at the end of the day you wouldn't care about me. So I had to tell you. And I did. And I regret it as hell!" That was what he said. His excuses to his feelings. "All this time.. All this time you've been hiding..? Man you should have told me earlier.. I actually felt the same back in Madrid.. But now.. Ahh.. It's so tough!" I said so sad! "I ask nothing else. I just, wanted you to know sometime and it looks like.. This time has finally come. I just don't want this to ruin what we have these years. This friendship." He told me. "I absolutely understand what you say. Trust me, nothing will be destroyed, nothing will be ruined.." I said and then sighed. "What.. Now?" I wondered. "Nothing. Just.. Fuck this piece of.." He said angrily, though not finishing his sentence. He hanged up suddenly. I lied at the sofa where I was sitting and threw my phone as far as I could. That moment. That moment felt like hell!