Carry you home - Rachel Green

THE ANTI-PAOLO

The one with the dozen lasagnas

Monica talked to her aunt on the phone, while, in the living room the guys and Phoebe were sitting on the couch talking. "Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna—" Monica was saying over the phones. "—Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape."

"Ross, did you really read all these baby books?" Joey asked.

"Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that!" Ross said snapping his fingers.

"Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta." Phoebe mentioned making Joey grimace.

Chandler looked at the yogurt he was eating disgusted. "And, we're done with the yogurt." He said leaving it on the table.

"Sorry."

"You know Ross, for a doctor natural births are very easy. The woman does all job, you just gotta make sure the baby doesn't slip and fall."

"Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big?" Joey mentioned gesturing the size with his fingers as he read one of Ross' books. "This is your baby. Hi Daddy!" He added with a baby voice.

Ross chuckled and waved. "Hello!"

"How come you don't live with Mommy?" Joey continued and Ross sent him an unamused look. "How come Mommy lives with that other lady?— What's a lesbian?"

They turned to the door as it slammed shot. Rachel and Paolo entered and it looked like they were arguing about something. "Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos." She said tapping his nose with every syllable.

"Ah, poke-" He touches Rachel's nose making Luke clench his jaw. "-a-nose" Paolo finished and they started kissing.

"Blah, Blah, Blaah" Joey, Chandler, and Ross imitated the Italian as they watched their interaction from the living room. Luke grabbed one of the books in front of him and started reading to avoid looking at Rachel.

At the kitchen the three girls sat on the table. "So, did I hear Poconos?" Monica asked.

"Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend."

"Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!" Phoebe cheered, but Monica looked doubtful.

"Yeah, that's a big step." She said.

"I know—"

Meanwhile in the living room, the three guys stare at Luke, who was holding the book so tightly, his knuckles were white. But he refused to say anything.

"Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!" Chandler tried to console.

"Yeah well, her supposed fling, should've flung by now." Luke mentioned. "If she had feelings for me at some point, then clearly they're gone."

Back at the kitchen. "I mean, we are way past the fling thing." Rachel said. "But I don't know, there's something holding me back—"

"—Luke, you're being ridiculous." Joey said.

"I'm the one who's being ridiculous?" Luke scoffed. "She's going on a romantic trip with peas for brains, and I'm being ridiculous? What do you want me to do? Huh? Call immigration? —I could call immigration."

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"I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows...." Rachel said referring to the sex of the baby.