𝙏𝙍𝙀𝙀𝙎 || 𝗝𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗹𝗲𝗿

6 - Stay

Tuesday, September 28th:

Tyler sat there, gnawing on his bottom lip as he measured their tree with Josh, uncertain of what to say. The silence between them wasn't quite awkward, but it wasn't comfortable, either. It was some ambiguous medium that made Tyler squirm a bit as he knelt down, water from the cold grass once again seeping into his jeans. He barely noticed.

"I'm sorry about how Maxx acted today," Tyler apologized, breaking the silence between them. He felt like he was holding his breath for a response. Part of him was terrified that Josh would blame him for the whole exchange and that he'd attribute his friend's actions to him.

However, he released the breath he was holding when Josh said, "Don't worry about it. I'm kind of used to it," in a genuine tone.

Tyler frowned up at the other boy. "Used to it? People do that to you a lot?"

"I mean, not a lot a lot, but stuff like that happens from time to time. That's what happens when you're not popular," Josh explained, his words not at all pointed or resentful in any way, but they still made Tyler feel a sting of guilt. He wanted to make sure Josh never got called out like that again.

"Who says stuff like that to you?" he inquired, starting to feel his anger bubble up at the mere thought of Josh getting bullied like that.

Josh just shrugged. "A lot of people over the years. Maxx, Cody, and a couple others. It's not a big deal, though; I can handle it."

Tyler felt a surge of protectiveness go over him. How had he not noticed it before? Those were his own friends, for god's sake; how had he not noticed that his crush of many years was getting bullied by the same people he called friends?

"Tyler," Josh said softly, placing a hand on the younger boy's shoulder, immediately pulling him out of his thoughts and back into reality. He could feel his cheeks go red and his skin burn where Josh was touching him, like electricity was being shot into him. He wondered if Josh could feel it, too. "It's okay. I'm not upset about it, so please don't be mad. It's not a big deal, really."

Tyler sighed, and Josh removed his hand from his shoulder. Tyler could still feel the skin tingling, and he savored the feeling of Josh's touch. He was torn between focusing on that and his anger towards his so-called friends.

"You just don't deserve that. I'm really sorry for never noticing. If I had, I would've stopped them," he told Josh, looking up at him with sad eyes. Josh looked down at him for a moment, expression unreadable, before he gave a small smile.

"I know, it's okay."

Tyler looked away after a few moments, feeling his cheeks flush from their prolonged eye contact. He'd been a bit better lately at not blushing around Josh, but in moments like these, where the other boy was being sincere, he couldn't help it.

After that, they actually got around to measuring the tree, although Tyler's mind was elsewhere. His mind was solely focused on the boy standing beside him, watching him as he intently tried to accurately measure their tree. He was biting his bottom lip, and Tyler felt his heart rate pick up.

Tyler had to force his eyes away from the other boy once he spoke out the height of their tree, and he neatly penciled in the number, trying his best to write carefully to not embarrass himself in front of Josh, though he didn't really believe that the other boy cared about his handwriting. Still, he felt like everything he did had to be perfect for the older boy, despite thinking deep down that Josh didn't care for him the same way, and therefore didn't notice every little detail about him.

He got up off the ground, brushing bits of wet grass from the knees of his jeans, listening while Josh spoke: "Well, I guess I'll be going then."

"Actually," Tyler started, sucking in a breath when Josh looked back at him with curious eyes. "Um, did you want to stay longer? I don't want you to feel like I'm making you leave or anything. You're always welcome to stay."

Josh looked at him a moment, Tyler nervous under his gaze, before he smiled. "Sure. I don't have anywhere to be."

Tyler mentally celebrated, but outwardly only shot the older boy a smile before leading him inside, feeling nerves creep into him. He realized he went into this without a plan, and he was beginning to panic.

"Uh, did you want a snack or to go upstairs or something? I could show you my room," Tyler mumbled nervously, fidgeting with his hands. Josh didn't seem to notice, and Tyler realized he was too busy looking around the house, which made the younger boy extremely self-conscious. He hoped once again that Josh wouldn't notice the lack of family photos.

"Whatever you want," the curly haired boy said with a shrug, his eyes finally meeting Tyler's once again, and Tyler quickly looked away, his cheeks turning pink once again. He silently cursed himself for being a blushing mess.

"Alright," Tyler murmured stiffly, feeling like he was moving in slow motion as he and Josh walked up the stairs towards his room, where he once again felt embarrassed by the lack of photos hanging on the wall. He just hoped Josh wouldn't find it weird.

They walked into Tyler's bedroom, Tyler nudging the door open nervously. When they stepped inside, Tyler watched as the older boy's eyes immediately landed on his ukulele.

"Do you play?" Josh questioned, picking up the delicate instrument with care, looking at Tyler with genuinely curious eyes.

"Yeah, I do," Tyler confirmed, doing everything in his power to keep himself from stuttering.

"Cool," Josh mumbled, looking down at the instrument just in time to miss the pink creeping into Tyler's cheeks. "You should play me something."

"What?"

Josh walked over, handing Tyler the instrument, a small smile resting on his face. It didn't help Tyler's nerves.

"You should play me something," the curly haired boy repeated. "Unless you don't want to, of course."

"No, I can!" Tyler exclaimed, maybe a touch too quickly, not wanting to disappoint the other boy. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "What do you want to hear?"

"Hm," Josh hummed, looking around the room at Tyler's various posters for inspiration. His eyes landed on a Death Cab for Cutie poster, and they lit up excitedly.

"How about 'Ghosts of Beverly Drive'?" he requested.

Tyler couldn't help but smile. "That's your Death Cab song of choice?"

"Hey, don't come at me; I love that song," Josh defended, making Tyler chuckle.

"Okay, okay."

He took in a shaky breath, willing his hands to stop trembling, and started playing.