Learning to Live, Again

Chapter Three

Corbin POV

I awoke once again to the sound of crying. Rolling over, I grumbled and shoved my face into the pillow. Addaline moved beside me. "Corbin, are you going to get up?"

I looked at the clock. It was two twenty-six a.m. and I had just gotten up twenty-minutes before. "It's not my turn," I snapped, facing my back in her direction. "Why don't you get off your lazy ass and do it?"

"I gave birth three weeks ago, Corbin. It wouldn't be the end of the damn world for you to take a few days to let me rest."

I rolled my eyes. "Addie, it's your turn. I've been taking care of them by myself for the past two weeks. You keep using that damn excuse, and I'm tired of it."

She got out of bed, throwing the covers on the floor. The cold air hit my and I curled up. "You're just an asshole Corbin." Addaline hit me with a pillow a couple of times, and I tried to ignore her and go back to sleep.

The babies continued to scream at the top of their lungs. "They're probably hungry and you're the only one with tits. Go feed them."

She scoffed. "What am I? Just some cow you can use?"

I sat up and shook my head. "No. You're the mother of my children, my wife, and one of the most annoying people I've ever met." Her eyes widened and tears filled them.

"Corbin! What is wrong with you," she cried, tears running down her face. "Well I'm sorry I'm not your slut Niamh! For the record, I'm happy she's missing!"

My heart squeezed in my chest, and I stood up, throwing my hands into the air. "Fuck you Addaline." I pulled a pair of pants on and grabbed a shirt.

"Where are you going?"

I shoved passed her. "Out. Why don't you stop acting like a 5 year old and go feed your damn children?"

Addaline scoffed. "My damn children? Don't you mean ours?"

"Whatever floats your boat."

Addaline continued to follow me to the front door. "Where do you think you're going?"

I turned around, my hands balled into fists. Spittle flew as I yelled, "Away from you before I do or say something I regret more than marrying you!" I flew outside, slamming the door as loud and hard as I could. I stalked to my car and flung the door open, sitting in the front seat and seething. That's when I realized I forgot my keys in the house. I hit the steering wheel. "Dammit!" Resting my forehead on the steering wheel, I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to calm myself.

Now that I was calming down, I felt horrible. I had never acted that way to Addaline before, or anyone for that matter. I couldn't believe I had said that to her. I could feel the hurt in her eyes crushing my chest like a 50 lb thing of concrete, making it hard for me to breath. It started out as any other fight, but the minute she brought Niamh into it, I snapped.

Tears filled my eyes as I thought about Niamh. She was still missing and it hurt me so much not having her around. We had actually started to be close again it had felt like before she'd gone missing. I think Addaline was insecure when it came to Niamh because just days after the twins birth, she had us rush to the court house and sign a marriage certificate. She was still working off the baby fat, and her hair was a mess. It was horrible, but I did it. Niamh obviously wouldn't give me another chance, and Addaline had just had the twins. It was useless for me to not marry Addie. I mean, who would date a guy with three kids from two different moms?

I sighed. I was going to have to go back inside unless I wanted to freeze in my car. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around myself and made my way up to the front door. My mother sat at the kitchen table holding up my car keys. "Figured you might want these." I took them from her and put them by the door. Turning back to my mother I could see her pouring whiskey into two cups. "Figured you might also want this." She passed me a cup and I sat there sipping it while she finished two in ten minutes. "Corbin-"

Shaking my head, I held up my hand. "Mom, please. I'm not in the right state of mind at the moment." She tilted her head, and that's all it took. "I'm exhausted," I began. "The girls are nothing like Heath. They cry all night and day. I'm so stressed out it's not funny. I haven't seen my son in weeks, and Addaline is so fucking bitchy."

My mother took my hand in hers. "And you miss Niamh. It's okay to say it. I'm not some insecure, jealous slut. I'm your mother. I know you miss her, and I do too." She squeezed my hand.

"I just can't believe she's gone," I murmured, dropping my head.

"I know. It's okay to mourn, and even to drink a little, but don't get stuck. Don't be like me." I looked up and could see sadness in my mother's eyes. "I love you, and I'd hate for you to end up like me." She leaned over and kissed my cheek. It was strangely comforting, and for a moment I was afraid I was going to ask her to let me sleep with her like I used to when I was little. Thankfully I didn't, and headed to my room.

When I got there, Addaline was either asleep or at least pretending to be, and I got into bed with out incident. Her back was to me, and I could see her move a little, which meant she was awake. I shifted closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I'm so sorry," I whispered against her ear.

Her voice was watery as she asked, "Do you really regret marrying me?"

I took a deep breath. "No, of course not," I lied.

~~~~~

Dear Readers,

I am so sorry for the long time between updates. I have been busy helping my mother move and getting her house set up, and just too many things to name off. I also didn't get wifi until today, or have anything but my phone to type on and, call me prissy if you'd like, but there is no way I'm using that thing to write. Anyway, sorry for the short-ish chapter and the long update time. I'll try to be faster, and I hope you like the chapter.

Sincerely,

Jax Nicoles