Learning to Live, Again

Chapter Twenty-six

 Corbin

I stood outside of her hospital room, my heart pounding in my chest. It felt like my chest was collapsing, and I could hardly take a steady breath. She wanted to see me.

Me. The man who tried to steal her son from her on more than one occasion. The man who took her virginity, and then never spoke to her again. How could I do that to her? She was my best friend. Believe it or not, I still loved her more than I've loved anyone else, excluding my children. I even loved her more than my wife.

That's not hard to do, I thought bitterly. Addaline was a bitch. A manipulative, cheating, lying bitch, and I was done with it. Even if her new children were mine, I was leaving her. I was moving out, with or without my mother. I just hoped I'd still be allowed to see my girls...

 Taking a deep breath, I decided I could no longer procrastinate. I had to go in and face her. I had to listen to her tell me what a horrible person I was, I had to listen to how much she hated me, and I had to listen to her tell me I could never see my son again. Reaching out, I opened the door, softly rapping on it as I pushed it open. 

"Niamh?"

"Turn the light on." Her voice startled me, and I jumped. I almost hadn't recognized her voice. It was so filled with fear, that my brain refused to believe it belonged to her. In all the years I've known her, I've never heard her sound as afraid as she did now.

I flipped the light switch on and warm light filled the room. Niamh sat cross legged in the middle of the room, a pillow in her lap, and fear in her eyes. I could see her visibly relax when her eyes adjusted to the new light, but she still seemed wary. 

She sat in the middle of the bed, no longer needing the adjustable part of it to support her. Her face was still black and blue, and her hands were bandaged. She was wearing normal clothes now: a big, long sleeved shirt that I recognized to be one of Jeff's, and her favorite hello kitty sweatpants. If it weren't for the bruises, cuts, and obvious fear and pain, she would have looked just like she had when I'd snuck into her room on her sixteenth birthday.

We stood in awkward silence for what felt like a century when Niamh spoke up and did something I would have never even thought to expect at this moment.

"So you're the asshole that hit me with his fucking car, huh?"

I looked up, about to apologize until my voice grew hoarse, but Niamh's expression surprised me. She was smiling. Actually smiling, and I couldn't help it, I laughed. She joined me in seconds, and the room was filled with the sound of us laughing. It felt so good to finally laugh with her again that my eyes filled with tears, and I ended up crying.

I don't know how, but I ended up in a chair beside her bed, and my head was lying on the pillow in her lap. Niamh ran her fingers through my hair like she had done a million times before, and it only made me cry harder. It felt like nothing had changed, but I knew everything had.

When I was finally done crying, I felt humiliated. I've only cried in front of Niamh twice before, and I felt ridiculous being so weak in front of her. The whole time I cried, Niamh had ran her fingers through my hair and cried with me. 

I sat back in the chair, wiping the tears from my eyes as Niamh wiped her tears from her cheeks. "I'm so sorry," I said, swallowing back the lump in my throat.

Niamh shrugged. "It was only a car. No big deal." She was smiling, still joking.

I shook my head. "That's not what I meant."

She nodded, looking sad. "I know, but can we just act like nothing's happened? Like we're still two dumb teenagers hiding under my bed?" I knew what memory she was talking about, and it made me laugh.

Niamh was suppose to be at her friend Lindsay's house while her mom was out of town, but instead she had stayed home, and I'd snuck into her room. We'd been dancing around like idiots when her mother came home early, and we were forced to hide under the bed so she wouldn't catch us. She had, in fact, caught us, but we hadn't gotten in that much trouble. All her mom cared about was that we both still had clothes on, and that we weren't a couple of burglers.

Nodding, I smiled. "Yea, I guess we can pretend to be dumb teenagers."

She looked relieved, and we sat there for the next six hours talking and laughing. It felt so good to talk to her, and to even be near her, but it also hurt. I could see what they had done to her. They had broken her down, and they had ruined her.

Her hair was chopped off at a horrible angle, and none of it was the same length. Her face had cuts and bruises all over it, and every time I moved my hands, she jumped. I couldn't believe she was even letting me touch her hands. 

"So," Niamh said after a while, taking another bite of Jell-O.

I swallowed my spoonful. "So?"

When she looked up, her eyes were that same sad that I had a bad feeling would be haunting her eyes forever. "How's the girls, and-" She paused.

"And?"

"Addaline," she finally whispered, setting her Jell-O cup down.

I did the same. Niamh was now looking away from me, and I wanted so bad to grab her chin and have her look at me, but I didn't want to scare her.

"My girls are fine. They're both doing great." I paused, taking a deep breath. "Addaline's pregnant again." Niamh absently rested her hand on her stomach, and I felt so bad. I had a bad feeling that her traumas had made her unable to have kids, and I couldn't help but feel partially responsible. "I'm divorcing her," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"What?" Niamh's head shot around so fast that I could only imagine the amount of whiplash she gave herself.

I nodded. "Yea. I'm divorcing her. She's a bitch, and she's manipulative, and she doesn't make me a better person."

Niamh snorted, a bitter look on her face. "No shit."

I laughed a little. "I was an idiot for ever marrying her, and I'm 99% sure she cheated on me, and that's why she's pregnant."

"Why do you think that?"

I sighed. "I was half asleep when we supposedly 'had sex'," I air quoted the words, "and there's no way I'm the father."

Niamh took my hand in hers, surprising me. "I'm so sorry, Corbin."

Shrugging, I ran my free hand through my hair. "It's karma, I suppose, for letting me soul mate slip through my fingers." I looked at her when I said that, gauging her reaction. She seemed like she was going to say something, but all she did was retract her hand, looking down at the tear stained pillow in her lap.

"Niamh-" Before I could continue, the emergency room doors slammed open and a man on a gurney was wheeled in. 

He was just about to pass Niamh's room when she gasped, "Oh no."

"What?" I asked, trying to take her hand, but she shook me off, standing up and looking out of the door.

When she turned back to me, a new kind of fear filled her face, and she was in tears. "That was Caleb."