Learning to Live, Again

Chapter Seventeen

Niamh

Ar first I was swirling in darkness, unable to grasp anything. Sounds bounced around me, but none of them seemed to hit my ear drum, making it impossible for me to discern what it was. It didn't feel like I was breathing, but I knew I had to be, I mean, I wasn't dead... was I?

Eventually my feet found what felt like solid ground, even though it just looked as dark as the surrounding area. It seemed like I was walking on air.

"Hello," I called, my voice ringing out clear and echoing eerily in the silence. I couldn't remember how I got here, but I had a feeling it wasn't good. Not wanting to stay in one spot, worried that if I did I'd never leave, I began walking; and walking; and walking.

Even though I had walked for what seemed like hours, I wasn't getting tired. I could hear little voices whispering things, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. They were so low it was hard for me to know if I knew the people that the voices belonged to. They sounded young though.

After a few more hours of nothing, I sat down. Instantly the solidness beneath my feet left, and I was able to dangle my legs over a ledge of some sort.

Every once in a while I could hear two different males ask a question. It was always the same one, "When will she wake up?" Sometimes there would be period of times where a woman with a familiar voice would read books. Most of them were children's books that I faintly remember from my childhood, so I wasn't 100% sure if she was reading to me or an audience I didn't know was there.

"Niamh," someone whispered next to my ear, making me jump. That was the closest one of the voices have ever gotten, and my heart beat picked up in response. "Please, come back," they pleaded. I could feel their breath against my ear, their soft voice calling to me. 

It was like a siren's call, and slowly I began to ascend from the darkness. The voice was becoming clearer as I got closer. "I promise, I will never let something happen to you ever again."

I slowed down. Did something happen to me? Suddenly, and without warning, pain shot throughout my body, starting at my ribs and traveling the length of me. This pain was something that I'd never experienced before, and I cried out. It felt like my bones were each being snapped individually, and like someone was pressing a hot iron into the back of my head. My throat closed up, and I began to panic. This pain was too much.

"Doctor!" someone shouted. "She's in pain!" I could feel a prick on my arm, and then I fell into the darkness once again. 

 ~~~~~

Caleb

I sat back in the chair with a sigh. Niamh had stopped thrashing around, and she seemed to be back in a peaceful sleep, or whatever it was that she was in.

"Caleb," Jones, the doctor on Niamh's case, began, "I can't keep putting her under. Every time I do makes it less likely she'll wake up."

My eyes were on Niamh. I sighed, dropping my head into my hands and clutching my hair. "I know," I mumbled. "I know! I just-" I looked back at her, at her broken and battered body. "Every time she starts to come back, she's in so much pain. I don't want her to hurt."

I took her frightfully pale hand in mine and held it as tight as I dared. "I understand that, but for her to come back, she's going to have to feel the pain of what's happened to her." The way he said it told me that he didn't just mean the physical pain. There were mental wounds and scars that she was going to have to find a way to work through if she was ever going to come back to me.

Carefully, I reached up and brushed her white hair out of her face. Whoever had taken her had cut her hair, and they hadn't done a good job. I had enough experience in my job to know that they had done that to humiliate and degrade her; they were trying to break her down. 

Whoever had taken her had really worked her over good. All of her fingers were wrapped up because she had ripped most of her nails out and broken a few of them as she climbed up the side of the highway. Corbin's car had broken her ribs and shattered her collarbone, making it hard for the doctors to tell exactly what was from Corbin and what was from her kidnappers. So far they had decided that the deep cut on her calf and foot was made from a knife, and the cuts around her pelvis and down her back were made my chains along with the bruises around her wrists and ankles.

Her face and body was black and blue, with cuts lining up and down her frame. She was insanely skinny, her ribs poking out dangerously from her nightgown. There was evidence that her wrists had been broken more than once, and then allowed heal improperly. They found massive internal bleeding, and Niamh had died more than once during the surgery.

Somehow, though, she had come back. The doctors were astounded, and they were persistent to remind us that just because she survived the surgery didn't mean she'd survive the night. Once again she had proven them wrong. She had been living for a week now, and her bruises and cuts were slowly becoming a healing yellow. 

The doctors say that they're amazed by her recovery, however slow and grueling it is. The fact that she has survived this long was a miracle. Beth, Corbin, and I spent as much time here as we could. Corbin wasn't able to see Niamh as much as me, though. He had to come when Beth was gone, and that almost never happened.

A knock at the door had me lifting my head. "Hello," Beth greeted me, trying to sound cheerful. She was carrying two coffees, and she pulled a chair up next to me.

I hadn't noticed how cold I was until my fingers wrapped around that cup. "Thank you."

Beth nodded. "How's she doing?"

I sighed. "She almost came back, I could see her eyes fluttering, and then the pain had claimed her. She panicked, like every other time, and they had to put her back under."

"Oh Caleb," Beth murmured, her eyes watering. "If she stays asleep any longer the doctors say her brain is going to rot."

I nodded. "i know; I know, but I don't think she wants to come back."

Beth scowled. "Don't you dare that say. That's not true."

"Isn't it though? She's had plenty of chances, but she's scared. Every time it becomes a little hard or a little painful, she runs."

Beth sighed. "It's not her body that's keeping her from coming back. It's her mind, Caleb. Whatever she's suffered has her terrified to come back. We just have to be patient and wait."

I shook my head, standing up. "I don't know how much more waiting I can take. I'm dying, Beth. This is killing me. I can't be here right now."

"Caleb wai-"

"I'm sorry." I rushed out of the room, not even bothering to grab my jacket.