Learning to Live, Again

Chapter Thirty-One

Niamh

I sat in the hospital chair, my knees pulled up to me. I was dressed in normal clothes, and my mother was talking to Natasha. I'm not sure what they were saying, but from the looks on their faces, it was about my wanting to go home.

I had passed everything, so by law Natasha couldn't keep me here. Dean and Heath stand beside my mother. They keep peeking at me, but my mother won't let them come near me. Honestly, it really doesn't seem like they want to come near me anyhow. Not that I could blame them.. I looked like death. My eyes were bloodshot, my skin pale, and my hair chopped up crazily. It would take a hairdresser with miracle fingers to fix this mess atop my head.

As I waited, my mind kept going back to everything that monster of a cop said. I was bringing unwanted attention to their group of murders and rapists. They- they were scared..

My brows furrowed. They were scared of getting caught. I'm close to catching them, then, right? The more I thought about it, the more my stomach sank. If I kept chasing this, they'd kill Caleb, or worse.. hurt my children. I could never forgive myself for being the reason my children were hurt. A tear slipped down my cheek. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with no way out.

"Momma?" I looked up, my heart squeezing in my chest at the little voice. Gray eyes looked up at me, his little lips in a slight pout. He walked up to me, lifting his arms. I picked him up, and h leaned in towards me. "Don't cry momma," he whispered. "You're coming home now. Dean and Rudolph and me are gonna keep you safe. We won't let anything hurt you ever again." 

I smiled, brushing back his bangs. "I know, my love. Mommy just hurts."

"Is it the baby?" I looked at him in surprise, causing him to smile sheepishly. "The doctors and grandma talk loud when they think I'm reading."

I kiss his cheek, holding him close. "You shouldn't eavesdrop."

He smiles cheekily. "People shouldn't think I can read yet. I'm too little!"

I laugh a little and kiss his cheek. "You're too smart for your age, my little love." 

He smiles at me and kisses my cheek. "We missed you, momma. Are you really coming home?" 

I nod and hug him to me, smiling for a second as he rests his head in the crook of my neck. "Yea, baby, momma's coming home.." 

I look over to see Dean still standing beside my mother. He has his bear wrapped in his arms, and he refuses to look at me. It takes everything in me to hold back the tears as I hold my youngest in my arms. 

Where did everything go wrong?

~~~~~

Addaline

Well, I fucked up good, didn't I? Addaline sat with her back against the waiting room seats, her head resting against the wall as she waits. 

Where did it all get so wrong? She wondered, sighing as she opened her eyes to watch the cop walk by her. "When you mixed business with pleasure," she whispered to herself. She was smarter than that. She had been at this for longer than Corbin has been an adult. She was much older than him, but she didn't look it. He was easy to fool; easy to get to love her. 

No. Corbin hadn't been the problem.

Jeremy was. They had worked for the same man for years, never once saying a word to each other. She had admired him from afar, and then the boss told them to work together.. 

She sighed. She had been doing her job just fine. She was getting information from Corbin without him realizing she was digging. Jeremy was the problem. He was an idiot.. he'd underestimated Niamh. He thought he could control her with fear, but you can't. Niamh was stronger than that.

Just as Addaline was nearing the time when she could take leave of Corbin, Jeremy had messed up with Niamh, and now he was her only source of information about Niamh. 

Addaline shook her head. It wasn't suppose to end this way.. not for Corbin at least, and Addaline was surprised to find a little bit of guilt as she held the bottle up to the light. She'd killed once before, and it had been easy. Just a couple drops of carefully placed poison and the man was dead with no trace as to who, or what, killed him. She'd done it as easily as breathing, but now.. this death?

She felt guilt. Corbin was a good man.. He'd made dumb mistakes, sure, but everyone has. You don't survive in life without making some mistakes. Unfortunately for him, he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. He'd gotten involved with her, and now it would mean his life.

"Addaline?" She looked up at the older gentleman that stood before her. "You can see him now."

She nodded, standing up and preparing herself, not for his anger, but for his hurt. She'd never felt bad for someone, but as she neared the corner, she felt bad for Corbin. He was lying on his cot, his back to the gate. His hair was a mess, and she hated how he was being kept. He had a tiny room with a shitty cot and a toilet and sink. He'd have to go where God and everybody could watch.

Taking a deep breath, she tapped on the bars. "Corbin," she called softly, making her voice seem hesitant and worried and sad all at once. He didn't move. "Corbin, please. I'm so sorry.. You're right. I'm an awful mother.. I've hurt you and caused you so much pain when you've done everything for me. I- I know you'll never forgive me, but I want to try to make it up to you.. I'll give you the divorce you want. I won't fight for money or your house or your car or-" she hesitated, knowing this would make everything more believable "-or the children," she finished. "You can have the girls if you want.. you can have the new babies if you want.. you can have anything you want." She felt a tear slip down her cheek, and she was surprised at how easy it was. It was almost as if she-

Addaline shook her head. She didn't. She wouldn't.. She couldn't.

Corbin slowly sat up and turned towards her. Even though he had gotten the jump on Jeremy, he'd still gotten his butt whooped. His face was covered in cuts and bruises, and it was easy to tell he ached as he moved towards the bars. His expression was so cold and empty it made Addaline's chest hurt. She wasn't sure why it did, but it did. An immense feeling of guilt washed over her, and she tried to keep her pretense up.

"You would give up your girls.. those two perfect little babies and the new ones." He shakes his head. "You act like this is for me, but it's not. It's for you, so you don't have to 'deal' with them. Well, those girls are perfect," he says. "They are everything I wish I could be: happy, innocent, kind, sweet, and they're not even a year old yet. Those little girls are perfect, and they don't need you."

His words stung Addaline, and the tears that touched her eyes were genuine. "You're right," she whispered. "Those girls and these babies deserve better than me. They deserve you.. you will treat them so much better than I could ever hope to.." She put the bottle between the bars. "Please.. take this.. you look dehydrated."

Corbin took it without hesitation, an ever trusting person. As he raised the bottle to his lips, Addaline's heart hurt. She didn't love the ignorant boy in front of her, but she did care for him. He was a kind man, and as the bottle touched his lips, Addaline's one thought was, You don't deserve this...