Recollection

seventeen | my heart

Mazzy Star - Fade Into You

The flight to New York felt like an eternity, even though I had been through this journey countless times before. The city was familiar, but the weight in my chest made everything feel distant as if I were walking into a different world–one where nothing was the same as it used to be.

It was late November now, and the cold had settled into the city like a heavy blanket. I pulled my coat tighter around me as I stepped off the terminal and walked to the car Roman had waited for me. I made my way through the streets, full of life. The city buzzed around me, indifferent to my nerves, to the turmoil in my head. I hadn't seen Asa in almost four months and hadn't spoken to him since he left for New York back in August. And now, here I was, showing up unannounced, with something monumental to tell him. What could possibly go wrong?

Despite the two-day pep talk I gave myself building up to this moment and let's not forget about the most overbearing and overprotective big brother and cousin I was finally allowed to come alone.

I wouldn't put it past Roman to have sent hidden guards to trail me. I haven't seen a single one so far. So, I was either way out of my head or I trained them well.

Roman was hiding something and I wanted to figure out what, but I couldn't with everything else in my head.

My hand instinctively moved to rest on my stomach, feeling the small curve of my belly beneath the layers of my coat. The baby. Asa's and my baby. Our baby. I didn't know how to tell him, or even when I should, but I couldn't wait any longer. He needed to know. I owed him that. Only Ales knew. And then the twins found out because they passed outside my room when Ales and I were talking and just this morning before I left Haley pulled me to the side and hugged me telling me that everything was going to be okay, and she was around of me. She clearly knew and when I looked at her with a questioning gaze, she winked at me caressed my cheek and told me a mother always knows.

And I felt a flatter in my stomach. It was at that moment that I felt the baby move for the first time. Because Haley might be my aunt but throughout the years she became my second mother. Same as Uncle Duke.

With our last parting words being go get your man back I left Lake Como and found myself driving through the streets of Brooklyn with one destination in my mind.

My man.

As I rounded the corner, the familiar sight of Asa's gym came into view. The neon sign above the door was off, and the lights inside were dim, signaling that the gym had closed for the night. But the door was slightly ajar, and I could hear the faint thudding sound of fists hitting a punching bag when I got out of the car.

I hesitated at the door, my heart pounding in my chest. Was this the right time? The right way to tell him? I had no idea. But there was no turning back now. I came this far.

Pushing the door open quietly, I stepped inside. The smell of sweat and rubber mats greeted me, the familiar scent of the gym where Asa had spent countless hours. The place was empty, save for him.