𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐈𝐓 ➛ ryusae

chpt 7 ➛ sae

Sae took in Shidou's words with a surprising sense of caution. He'd never thought of Shidou as the introspective type, let alone someone who would dive into complex topics. Yet here he was, sitting beside Sae, battling a 39-degree fever, and still managing to offer him some of the most genuine advice he'd ever received.

What was this feeling? Was it admiration? Or was it something even deeper?

For the first time, Sae felt seen—truly seen and understood. No one had ever grasped him like this.

Until now.

The silence stretching between them was starting to feel heavy, and Sae knew he had to say something to break it. Clearing his throat, he looked away, searching for words.

"Uh... so do you, like, just save parts of your brain for special occasions?"

It was all he could think to say. Confusion flooded him... he wasn't sure what he felt. The idea of someone truly understanding him—someone caring this much—was unsettling.

Shidou let out a soft chuckle. "Honestly, I didn't even know my brain could work like that. I have no idea where this came from..."

Sae was a little unnerved. Once again, he was reminded that no one had ever gotten to him the way Shidou just had.

He needed an excuse to get up, to shake off this vulnerability for a moment. His whole reputation as the cool, unaffected Itoshi Sae felt like it was slipping through his fingers.

The quiet in Shidou's dorm felt both thick and fragile, like it could either shatter or deepen at the slightest word. Sae's heart was racing, but his expression stayed composed. He kept his gaze averted, staring at a random spot on Shidou's cluttered coffee table. After a long pause, Shidou's low chuckle brought him back to the moment.

"Guess I have a few surprises up my sleeve," Shidou murmured, his voice unusually soft. The roughness from his fever and their hours spent talking made his tone seem different—gentler, almost thoughtful. Sae couldn't help but glance over, catching the barest hint of a genuine smile on Shidou's face. The grin lacked the usual teasing edge, making Sae's chest tighten in a way he didn't fully understand.

Sae recapped the night in his mind. They had spent the entire afternoon binging Breaking Bad on Shidou's couch, with Shidou flopped over, half-reclined and increasingly drowsy, his fever making him drift in and out of sleep. Sae had originally come over just to check on him, Shidou had gone completely silent that morning, ignoring messages, and no one else had managed to get a hold of him either. That had been reason enough to knock on his door, even if the idea of playing caretaker wasn't exactly in his nature. But then he saw Shidou standing there, looking so out of it, and found he couldn't bring himself to leave. So he stayed, kept him company, watched him perk up for the show, and they ended up talking about things he'd never expected to share.

Sae had stayed, and now, here they were, hours later, and his whole idea of who Shidou was flipped 180 degrees .

"Thanks, though." Shidou's voice pulled him back again. "For coming over and all that. Can't remember the last time anyone actually..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, you didn't have to, so... thanks."

Sae's eyes flickered up to meet Shidou's, and for once, there wasn't a trace of teasing in his face. He looked sincere, almost shy, and it took Sae off guard. Shidou never looked shy, never seemed to care what people thought, but there he was, looking at Sae like he was waiting for something. Some kind of validation, maybe.

Sae didn't know what to say, so he simply nodded. "It's not a big deal. You were sick. Someone had to check on you before you did something reckless."

Shidou let out a short laugh, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Reckless? Me? Never." He looked down at his hands, and Sae noticed how he was twisting the fabric of his blanket between his fingers. "But yeah... didn't expect it'd be you of all people."