𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐈𝐓 ➛ ryusae

chpt 19 ➛ sae

They were a week away from Sae's departure to Spain, and the weight of it had finally started to settle in. At first, it had felt distant, like something he didn't need to think about yet. But as the days counted down and his departure loomed closer, the reality was beginning to hit him. Three weeks wasn't a long time, not really—but it was long enough to feel like an absence. Three weeks away from Japan, away from Shidou, away from the life they'd built together—it hit him more than he expected.

Sae wasn't used to feeling this way. He'd traveled all his life for his career. Airports, hotels, new teams, and temporary homes—it was all part of the job, part of the dream he'd chased relentlessly since he was a kid. But this time, something about leaving felt heavier. He wasn't afraid, exactly. He knew how to handle himself, knew how to keep his focus. Yet the thought of stepping on that plane felt like stepping away from something he wasn't ready to leave behind.

Sae leaned against the balcony railing, his eyes on the campus lights glowing bellow him. A soft breeze ruffled his hair, and at that moment, he felt calm. His thoughts had been spinning ever since he got called back to Spain. He'd worried about leaving Japan, about how things might change between him and Shidou, about what Rin and everyone else would think.

But every time Shidou was standing beside him, all those worries felt far away.

He heard the familiar sound of footsteps behind him and didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Shidou leaned on the railing too, close enough that their arms brushed. He wasn't saying much, for once, just letting the quiet stretch between them. It was easy, like always, and Sae realised he didn't need to say anything either. Shidou already understood him in ways most people never could.

He glanced at Shidou, who turned to grin at him. That stupid, overconfident grin that used to annoy him so much—but now, it felt like comfort, a reminder that no matter how chaotic things got, Shidou would always be there, steady in his own unpredictable way.

Shidou's voice was quieter than usual, his words coming out soft and low, almost as if he were saying them more to himself than to Sae. "I'll miss you when you're gone, you know."

Sae's heart gave a small, unexpected jolt, and for a moment, the weight of it all pressed down on him a little bit more. He turned slightly, meeting Shidou's eyes for a beat before gently resting his head on Shidou's shoulder and softly replying, "Me too."

There were no need for more words. Instead, he looked down, back at the lights below, his thoughts settling into something quieter as his head lay on Shidou's shoulder. Shidou was the only person who could keep up with him, match his intensity, and somehow still leave him wanting more. Shidou was everything he didn't know he needed—someone who made life fun, unpredictable, and worth coming back to.

Ever since he met Shidou, Sae realised he didn't have to carry everything on his own. Shidou had his back, always, and that made all the difference. 

The quiet between them stretched out for a while, and in that stillness, Sae let his mind wander.

Shidou broke the silence first, his voice low and slightly playful as he nudged Sae's shoulder. "You know, I think I'm going to miss teasing you the most."

Sae let out a soft laugh. "You're a pain in the ass," he replied, though his words carried no heat. He was starting to realize just how much he enjoyed their back-and-forth, how much he enjoyed Shidou's very presence in his life. "I can't wait to get back just to hear you complain about everything.

Shidou chuckled, leaning slightly into Sae's side. "I'll have plenty of complaints waiting for you when you get back," he said, his grin audible in his voice. "Don't worry, you won't get rid of me that easily."