𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐈𝐓 ➛ ryusae

chpt 34 ➛ shidou

Click.

Shidou let out a heavy breath, his phone slipping from his grasp and landing on the couch beside him. His arm came up to cover his face, pressing against his forehead as frustration bubbled in his chest. His heart was still racing, pulse hammering in his ears.

He and Sae never really fought—not like this. Sure, they bickered, teased, pushed each other's buttons, but this? This felt different.

It hurt.

It wasn't even the yelling that got to him. It was Sae's voice, the way it cracked, how raw it had sounded. And the words—those goddamn words—maybe if you actually cared about what I'm going through...

Shidou scoffed bitterly, dragging a hand through his hair.

He did care. He cared so much, but Sae had already made up his mind before the conversation even started. He already had an answer in his head, and the second Shidou strayed from it—

Snap.

Now he was here, sprawled out on Sae and Rin's dorm couch, feeling like he just got thrown into a game he didn't know how to play.

The quiet murmurs from the dining table reminded him that he wasn't alone. He had been so caught up in the call that he'd completely forgotten about the two spectators watching him like this was some dramatic TV drama.

"Damn," Isagi muttered, breaking the silence. "That sounded intense."

Rin, who had been idly spinning a pencil between his fingers, glanced at him before turning his attention back to Shidou. "Since when do you and my brother fight like that?"

Shidou exhaled sharply, rubbing his face before finally sitting up. His gaze flickered to the table, where Rin and Isagi sat, both looking way too invested in his misery. "We don't."

"Could've fooled me," Isagi remarked. "You sounded pissed. He sounded worse."

Shidou let out a slow breath. "Yeah. He's been... off. Since he got to Spain, it's like he's just waiting for shit to go wrong. And now, well—"

"Now it has," Rin finished knowingly. He leaned forward, elbows on the table, studying Shidou. "What was it about?"

Shidou hesitated for a moment, before sighing. "They're offering him a contract extension. More money, more time in Spain. But he's convinced it's some calculated move to keep him there like a pawn."

Isagi frowned. "Isn't that a good thing, though? I mean, isn't that what he wanted? To be the best midfielder in the world?"

"That's what he says he wants," Shidou muttered. "But now that it's actually happening, it's like he's second-guessing everything. And when I tried to tell him it's not all bad, he just... lost it."

Rin sighed, setting his pencil down. "Sounds about right. My brother overthinks everything to the point of self-destruction."

"Yeah, well, I didn't think he'd turn on me for trying to help," Shidou muttered, rubbing his temples. "He basically said I don't care. Like, do you know how fucked that is?"

Isagi let out a low whistle. "Ouch."

"Yeah. Ouch." Shidou let his head fall back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. The room felt suffocating with the weight of things left unsaid. He hated this—this uncertainty, this ache in his chest he didn't know how to soothe. "I don't even know what he wanted from me. It's like he already had the answer in his head, and when I didn't say exactly what he needed to hear, I became the enemy."