International Legends

Chapter 2: Jasper

If you never woke up to hearing sounds of people whispering to each other in a ship whispering to each other, electronic devices beeping, and screens showing movement about the ship. It was quite a contrast to my dark, underground cafe. Most had come here due to the whims of an interdimensional monster.

Nothing much happens during my first-day shift. I did have a bunch of customers demanding drinks at once, then realized quickly their lack of claws, melee weapons, and general fighting ability meant this was a different world than what I was used to. They were decked out in tropical shirts, floaties, and swimsuits; and they were generally pretty happy with being on vacation. Floating about, making figure 8s in the pool as they swam this way and that. Some were jumping off the diving board, others were swimming through the waterfalls.

I terrified my first group by demanding them to tell me their orders and slamming the drinks rather roughly into the counter. Those tropical fruit slushies found their way all over the table and caused them all to be outraged. I was forced to go back to the bar, putting whipped cream on all of their drinks and the rainbow umbrellas decorating the top.  I realized they are actually a very sensitive group that requires a happier approach to service, and that required profusely apologizing and pretending that I gave a damn about their feelings.  I was also surprised there was no shortage of ingredients either. There were a bunch of people running from place to place according to their cruise itinerary and according to the jobs that they were assigned to. I kept eyeing the waiters who were carrying roasted pig, sushi trays, and assorted gelato to customers. I desperately wanted to knock one of them down.

Maybe I am not too familiar with this human custom called "vacation." I saw pictures of it when I was growing up, with my mom showing me pictures of her travels through Peru, China, and other locations. She really missed it, constantly making a pina colada and laying out by Hell's pool and pretending to have a tan. While Dad would sit around, mutter something in Korean, and retreat into the darkness.

There are supposed to be wizards here that the Naomi tree is battling with, but I didn't see any but the legendary Carmen Michelle DeAngelo. She was a sight to behold. Her long, curly hair extended the length of her back, and her tight dress accentuated her curves. She wore bright red lipstick to stand out against her olive complexion, and she was busy yelling at everyone aboard. I am grateful that she hired me, but I am terrified of actually having to talk to her.

A spider and a moth are taking a picture of their pair of drinks. The spider yelled about how the pictures needed to look more natural and bright and said the other shot was better. I moved to dodge them, but they seemed unaware of anything that was not witnessable on their phones.

I accidentally kicked a blond guy who was on the floor with a tray in my hands. He somewhat resembles one of the wizards of old from the movies they kept playing on the pool screen. I soon learned once he was up that he was just as unremarkable as any human here. Nice guy. Glad I avoided dropping my mojitos on him. I did ruin my chance at being friends though.

In my attempt to switch to my night shift in a timely manner, I show my shadow for one second immediately. I go from bartender to boogie man. He moved away and looked frightened. This took me completely by surprise. No human in my world would have been spooked that way. Just like that, my good day was nullified. Whoops, humans are so fickle. The day shifts would be a new set of challenges for me.

My watch blares its beeping noise at me and I give in to my fears.

"Hi boss," I say.

"Alright, Mr. Park, "says Carmen, "I'm going to be honest with you - your references were strange: Morty Mothman, Luencia Loch Ness, and Hairy Billie. Are those their real names?"

"Yes, and species all except Billie, that is actually bigfoot. He's really shy but not around pancakes."

"Okay," she said, sounding unimpressed. "That's not all, your photo was questionable."

"Yeah sorry, being a supernatural entity disagrees with electronic devices. Which is how the whole facetime thing didn't work. Also how the whole phantom barista rumor came about. I assure you I am very much a living being and not a ghost. Ghost human whatever," I say, rambling, feeling the flush across my face. Is it hot in here or is it just me? Am I drooling right now?

"Your skills are very much needed right now," she says, looking over paperwork. "I've decided that we are gonna keep you amid the massive layoffs going over at the company right now. They are known as the scum of the vortex. Monstrous beings from all sorts of planets from all over the universe kicked out of their governments."

"What happened to all the people you got rid of?" I ask, then covering my mouth, instantly regretting my words.

She laughs at me and says, "Don't worry about it."

...

I was flanked by guards as we stepped down the steps, heading towards Bar Midnight. They knew I was in no position to argue, so I kept my head down. It doesn't help, however. One twitch of my arm, and one of them jumps, holding me back by my arms.

"Don't try any tricks Wyorm."

"Oh, so this is discrimination huh?" I exclaim, raising my arms in the air. "I see how it is! You guys are flanking me because you think I'm gonna use mind control! This Monster Discrimination! I am gonna complain to the hire-ups."

"Who?" scowls the other. "Mr. DeAngelo is already in prison, and he couldn't care less about some hellish ghoul with Wyorm ancestry."

He has a point though. Damn it. They point their guns at my head.

My centipede self is displeased with the company and shifts in the shadows but I ignore it. To say the bar was unimpressive is a severe understatement. It was a below-deck place with dim lighting and a musty smell. Unlike the above deck, you could feel the jostling of the waves and the gray walls were more akin to a prison than a bar. The sad excuse for which was a glorified wooden wall in the back, but the liquor was kept locked tight so good to know someone cared. Just as I was told, the place was jam-packed with tattooed convicts, some wearing robes while others were wearing spiked battle armor. The majority were not human or human with animal heads and tails. A man with a wolf head threw a gargoyle-looking guy into a table and snarled at me while the others gave me a death glare, which I suspected was likely aimed at my unfriendly escort as they were roughly pushing them back. A monkey creature screeches and throws a bottle at one of them. The cacophony of riled up, the monsters snarling the musty underground smell, the chaotic noise of discontent was all too much for me. I could no longer contain my utter joy! I stopped and smiled at them without teeth, so they knew I was glad and not trying to fight. It was just like home!

The Vortex goons didn't appreciate this.

"Keep it moving spooky!" says one of the guards.

"I got it from here gentlemen," I say. "Unless you need a drink, I'm going to kindly ask that you leave me alone at my job."

One customer calls out, and another attempts to throw a tomato at me. I hissed at him.

"Attention Blackhole Bar patrons, this man will be serving you drinks," says the guard. "If he rambles his mouth, feel free to smack the side of his face."

One Kraken in front of me knocked me hard on the side of my head. An angry hiss escapes from me, and I feel myself heat with anger. If these dicks think that they can make me look weak in front of these people, they have another thing coming.

"Fellow patrons of this fine establishment. I am Jasper, your new bartender, and I will let you know I have the utmost respect for all my customers. I seek to help all of you. Meanwhile, these cloaked assholes called you scum and live in luxury upstairs. Just so we are clear. This is my domain and I have the right to refuse service to whomever I choose."

My centipede form shifted through the shadows.

Get out! I yell to my centipede form.

The shadow hovers over the two men that were critiquing me. They back away, screaming and scrambling their way out of the bar. Then the centipede disappears, snapping me instantly out of my rage.

An applause emanates from the bar.

"You should just stay in your human form kid," says an Ogre, patting me on the back.