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2022
JAEAH
It's my senior year. The school work was never ending. Deadlines spurred over my head. There was one exam after another. It was truly the worst year of my life. What frustrated me the most was that I haven't been able to sit down near my sewing machine. I just couldn't wait to graduate and get to college to dedicate my whole life to fashion.
Life has changed so much since junior year. It has really hit me that I was going to become an adult soon. I'm so excited but deep down I fear it too. Somethings never change too, specifically some people never change.
"JAKE." "SHUT THE DAMN DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE!" I shouted at Jake who ran as fast as lightning. My brother Jake was still as annoying as ever. My biggest bother was that he didn't move out even when he started to attend college. No, no it was that he didn't move away for college. Seeing Jake everyday was miserable and was affecting me mentally and physically.
Speaking of someone else, Huh Yunjin. My best friend who never left my side.
"Which one?" She pointed to the two outfits laid on her bed side by side. With a finger on my chin, I began to ponder. Pointing at the shirt and pants, I shifted my attention to her. "This too casual for a business meeting, the blazer would be better in this case." Yunjin raised her eyebrows and whistled. "Woah, it's so nice having a best friend with great fashion sense." Yunjin boasted and it made me smile. Yunjin's parents managed a skincare company and Yunjin was preparing to work there as soon as she graduated.
"What do you want me to say? I'm glad my best friends has great skin." I joked and Yunjin shook her head laughing loudly. "That's so lame Jae, you're not funny." "You should be glad that you have someone like me to make you laugh." I grumbled, picking up my bag and fixing my hair in her mirror. "Whatever, good luck with the meeting." Yunjin hums as I walk out of her room.
🍓🍓🍓
I sit at my study desk staring at all my books and notes. I run my tongue over my inner cheek sighing in frustration. A knock is heard on my door and I yell for them to come in. "Jaeah." My mom softly called my name. "Oh mom, sorry,I thought it was Jake." I sheepishly smile while turning my chair to her, embarrassed at my raised tone.
"I thought so sweetie, don't worry." I laugh along with her. Her head barely peeking out, her fingers on the door. My mom hasn't changed a bit either. "I just wanted to tell you that Jungwon's coming back for break tomorrow."
It's as if my heart had stopped. A buzzing sound rang in my ears. Jungwon? Why did he have to return when I was just settling down? I try to regain my composure in front of my mom. "Oh, is that so?" I said in a perplexed tone. "I'm sure you're excited to meet him." My mom says with sparkling eyes and I was unsure of the statement. "Yeah, I guess." I whisper to myself. "Well, I'm heading to bed, don't stay up too late." I nod, biting my lips.
It's that same feeling again. The quickened heartbeat, being unable to hear my own thoughts. The sudden rush of adrenaline that followed me waiting to see him.
I despised this familiar feeling swirling in me, the underlying love that I worked so hard to bury was coming back from its death. Like a flower that hasn't been watered, but it was able to get a drop of water just before it could never be revived again.
I was thinking about him again. Nonstop. His smile, his eyes, his laugh. Out of all the people I knew I was unsure about if he had changed or not. Would he be the same Jungwon I knew? The same Jungwon I fell in love with. I was scared that my old feelings would resurface. Or did they never leave at all?
What has gotten into you Sim Jaeah? I scolded myself. I hit my cheeks that became hot. "This can't be" "This is just an illusion?" "Yeah, I'm just dreaming." I try to focus back on the notes I was reading, but I kept repeating the same line over and over again. I wasn't able to understand as imaginative ideas of Jungwon plopped into my mind endlessly. I groan in frustration, slamming the book shut. I leaned back into my chair and threw my head back. It wasn't a dream. It was reality. I was nervous for how things would turn out when he came back. It was that same occurrence from my junior year. When I was young and sixteen and buried deep in unrequited love.
