always; yang jungwon

chapter 11

JUNGWON

"Rock, paper, scissors!" We both yelled out in unison and I held out a scissor and Jake crumbled his fist to show a rock. Jake cheered at his victory and I deflated evidently. I had to be the one to go buy beer to the only open shop in our neighborhood to greet an old cashier. The worst part is that he was still as stingy as before from when we were high schoolers.

"Cmon I don't wanna deal with him, let this slide just this once. Please?" Jake crossed his arms and shook his head with a prideful grin. I was at his doorstep whining but he only shut the door in my face. I scowled and stuffed my feet into my shoes and dragged myself to the shop, cursing at Jake all the way there.

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I tossed the rocks on the ground with my shoes, walking back through the empty streets of my neighborhood. I swung the plastic bag around making the beer cans thrash and make clanking sounds. The stupid cashier had begun to scold me the moment I walked into the store. He kept persistently trying to make me stay for longer against my own will. The old man has only gotten worse from when Jake and I were in high school.

It's alright though. This place was supposed to feel like home. Bring back all the memories of my childhood, make me reminisce the moment I set foot. Sometimes it sure did but it was dull. I would only feel this for a few minutes before it fades away. I could pin one reason as to why, Sim Jaeah. Someone so close to me that had drifted so far. I've only had a handful of time spent with her since my return. Some joyous, some unexpected.

"We aren't that close Jungwon."

I know that Jaeah and I are close. It was a blatant lie she spoke. That's what I saw it as at first, but her words made me question it. I'm afraid that I'm in no position to say that we're close as we've drifted apart. I'm scared that I missed out on seeing more of her the past 2 years.

I was nearing the park where she would always sulk at, and I'd always have to come by and comfort her. Maybe if I sat there sullen, she'd come to my rescue as I did when we were younger.

As I entered the park, I caught two figures sitting in the swings we'd sit on. The girl on Jaeah's swing and the dude on my swing. I walked closer but confusion struck me. This park reminded me of Jaeah the most, is that why the girl on the swing resembles Jaeah so much?. I inched closer subtly, hoping to not dirupt if they were strangers. I was met with a scene that I wish I hadn't.

I felt uneasy. I was annoyed. I exhaled in disbelief, clicking my tongue in habit. It was Jaeah. In front of my eyes, she sat on the red swing and beside her an unknown man I couldn't identify yet, sitting on my swing. My swing. Was I hurt? Did I feel replaced?

Something coursed through my veins and my mind was clouded with a feeling I despised.
The proximity she shared with him. The way his words would follow her laughter. What was so special about him that she was overjoyed? It annoyed me and I knew that this was selfish. I wasn't mad, I have no reason to be. Who Jaeah hangs out with is none of my business. Right? I decided to turn back around and not discuss the situation. I wasn't even able to take one step before I was back to crouching behind the old slide, eyes glued on the two.

I ruffled my hair in frustration, standing back up again to leave without interference. I only managed a few steps before I looked back once more. With my hands held at my hips I sighed with my mind drawing scribbles on what to do. "Seriously. who is this dude and why isn't he going?" I checked my watch and gasped. "It's almost 12!" "Jaeah needs to be home."

I walked nonchalantly as if I wasn't just prying into her personal life and spying on them. The guilt was eating me up, I didn't mean to. It was just an instinct I couldn't deny. I had to make sure she got home safe. 

When Jaeah looked up at me, her smile slowly faded and her face shone with conflict. "Jungwon? What are you doing here?" She questioned almost immediately, but my eyes were on the male beside her. Park Sunghoon. My nerves calm down and I let out a sigh of relief. It could've been worse. But something was bugging me to separate the two. Jaeah's just 18 but it's still late. As an older figure I must fulfill my duty and take her home safely.

"I was just coming back from the shop." "Oh yeah Jae isn't it getting late? Jake was calling for you." Jaeah picks up her cell to turn it on but she couldn't. "Oh shit I forgot it died." "Why though?" I almost froze in shock but retorted back. "I'm not sure but it seemed urgent." She tilted her head with furrowed brows. Her smile became lopsided as she was struck with confusion. "That's unlike him." She whispers as she gets up slowly, still cautious of the lie I told her. I didn't want to lie to her, but just this once, it wouldn't hurt right?

She hurriedly stood from the swing and brushed her dress neatly. "I'll get going Hoon." She waved and walked off. I stood in reprimand. Excuse me? Did she just call Park Sunghoon who was some dude who used to be in my class a partial portion of his name as a loving affectionate name. Hoon? Since when does Jaeah go around calling these random people like Sunghoon 'Hoon'.

Sunghoon got up as well, I flinched embarrassingly harsh when he suddenly landed his palm on my shoulder with a wide grin on his face. "It's been so long Jungwon." "I guess you're back for the holidays." I shook hands with him and smiled. Sunghoon wasn't a bad guy. He was a genuine dude. "Nice seeing you man."

Park Sunghoon is a close friend of Jake and I. We were in the same class and graduated together. He was popular in school, a caring person. It was embarrassing how I was all in their business. But this is Jaeah. Jaeah's someone I deeply care about. Jaeah's been in my life since forever.

"Jungwon!" She signals to come faster. At that moment, when she turned around. The way her hair flipped back. The way she stressfully called me. It was all so different. There was this sensation building up and I was holding it back with all my weight. Sometimes it was hard to contain. Whenever she looks at me, the world moves in slow motion. Every movement of her catches my eye. It wouldn't be long before this grew more contagious, more serious. Harder to conceal.

"See you around Sunghoon." I ran to Jaeah, a slow pace trailing us all the way home. A silent journey, with just what was in our hearts. I put the panic behind me. If the lie is found out, I'll scramble something up. What matters is, I'm here with Jaeah. I couldn't contain the smile on my face.