to capture a heart

mourning

Vivian River

It's been 2 weeks since my fathers death. His funeral was hell. I could barely stand there for 1 minute. All I thought about was how advantaged I was with my papa.

Chris was going through it. He had to mourn whilst holding the biggest mafia on his shoulders. These days he's barely slept, him and Fi keep arguing.

Enzo didn't show any signs of emotions near anyone, except when we were alone, he would cry. Cry, and tell me how much he missed Dad, how badly he wanted Dad right now to yell at him to come down to eat.

Nobody has ate.

Mama had been a hot mess. She sat in her bed all day, not moving to switch positions or nothing. She would just stare at the picture frame of her and Papa's wedding day.

We all tried to get her to eat but she wouldn't move, I swear at some point she wouldn't even blink. I tried to check up on everyone but nobody wanted it. Everyone was crying, not eating.

Papa wouldn't want this.

Even Adri lost it. He lost his spark of making everyone happy. He sat in his bed staring at the window, wiping his tears that flowed every now and then.

"Come eat." Enzo whispered. I shook my head as I played with one of Papa's squishy fidget balls. We had another office rebuilt because everyone refused to touch Papa's office.

Mine and Enzo's wedding wasn't planning to occur for the next couple of months. I physically couldn't get married knowing my papa won't walk me down. I've been throwing up alot recently and decided on a pregnancy test.

I went to the bathroom and pissed. I waited on the side for the test. After a couple minutes, feeling like hours, I picked up the test. I saw the large words and my heart started to race.

p r e g n a n t

So I took another.

p r e g n a n t

And another.

p r e g n a n t

Fuck sakes Vivia, out of all the times you could've been pregnant why now.

I groaned loudly, so loudly that Enzo walked in shocked. He picked up one of the test and his eyes filled with tears. "Oh my God, I'm going to be a father." Enzo yelled.

I hushed him as I took him in my arms giggling. "Maybe this was Papa's gift to you." Enzo whispered. Hearing that made me burst into tears. I stared at my belly as I cried, shaking.

My bottom lip quivered as Enzo held me in his arms. He repeatedly kissed my forehead trying to calm me down. "What's going on." Chris mumbled. I shot up in pure fear as I stared at him with blurry eyes.

"I- um- I-" I stumbled over my words. "Spit it fucking out." Chris growled staring at me.

"Who the fuck are you speaking to." Enzo quickly got up standing in front of me. Chris sighed as he turned around to sit on the edge of my bed. Chris was exhausted by everything.

I walked over to him and hugged him, I felt his tears dripping down my chest as I held him tighter. "I'm so fucking tired Vi." He muttered.

I hushed him as I soothed his cheek "I know, you're doing such a good job." I spoke softly. Fi walked in with red eyes as she stared at Chris.

She rushed over as she held him in her arms. "Oh my baby, what's wrong?" She cupped his face and wiped his tears. He shrugged, only wanting to be held by her.

Me and Enzo left them and escorted ourselves outside. We sat by the pool, washing our legs inside. Each whoosh of the pool tickled my toes. I rested my head upon Enzo's shoulder.

"I remember when Papa fell by this pool because of Mama, and she ended up falling with him." Enzo chuckled as he talked. I lightly laughed, reimagining it all.

"I miss papa, loads." My voice slightly cracked on the last word. I held my tears in though. "Cry, it's okay to cry." Enzo assured me.

Slowly tears trickled down my cheek. A cold sense of relief and regret hit me. The fact that papa left me with a man who had traits my papa did, and more. Or the fact that I never appreciated papa as much as I should've.

Enzo caressed the sides of my arms as I sobbed. A couple whimpers escaped my mouth as I tried to catch my breath. My legs were on top of him as I cried.

I really wondered how Mama was feeling. I couldn't live without Papa, now imagine her living without the love of her life. Although they were quite old they had Chris and Adri young.

Mama was pregnant with them at merely 23. She told me it was an accident but made me swear to never tell a soul. She said they were the best accident to ever happen to her.

I personally was my Papa's favourite. When I was younger he would come over to Nona's to take me fruit picking.

We would pick strawberries and cherries and come home to make pies together. It consisted of many flour fights and cuddle attacks.

Papa was the glue to the River's family. When they found out Matteo River had passed everyone was silenced.

The whole world paused when they heard he died. It got on the news and all. The 3 masked men turnt out to be secret FBI, who was killed 10 minutes after Papa's death.

They were given a long excruciating pain, one long enough to repay my father. Papa always told us he wanted to be buried with everyone smiling, although we tried nobody could hold their tears in.

We also kept the funeral extremely small, only allowing the River family, plus the family who lived in our house.

That's what Papa would've wanted anyways.

R I P M A T T E O R I V E R