OKAY 1.K READS IM ON TOP OF THE WORLDDDDD. We can celebrate with Caspar's new video aw. Little promo for one of my favorites. But seriously tysm I love you guys!
So I got inspired to write this due to the fact that Twenty One Pilots has a song called Car Radio and I figured combine both. I love them and I love Jaspar. I really hope this turned out better than I planned.
Warning: Thoughts about death, deep thoughts, and just I guess touchy subjects so be aware!!
Note: There's a lot of "???" so if that bothers you I'm SORRY
xxx
Joe runs a hand through his hair, trying to let everything sit in. His car radio has been stolen. He doesn't know how to react just yet. Just before going inside last night, he made sure to lock every door. And okay, sure he lives in a dangerous, shitty neighborhood but why would anyone steal a car radio? Worse yet, the car radio was a detachable one so maybe that's why it was an easier target. And fuck, Caspar had told him repeatedly to take the car radio inside for security purposes. Frankly, he should have listened.
And now Joe sits in silence.
This is scary, he thinks, because when he doesn't play music during any car ride, he begins to have unusual, morbid thoughts. Not morbid enough to go to jail, don't think that way kids, in fact he thinks of death a lot.
It wasn't the fact that Joe Sugg hated himself because no, he had a higher esteem for that, but no matter what he did, it could never be better than his sister. So yes, he lived in his sister's shadow for as long as he could remember. Sometimes dark thoughts cross his mind due to the fact that he's invisible—always has been. Being alone can push anyone into thinking deep things and that is exactly what Joe deals on a daily basis unless he's listening to music.
Being in a car and singing a long to a favorite tune is a relaxing feeling. No one is watching you and weight can be lifted upon your shoulders. That's how Joe felt. Car time was essential to him.
Now that his radio has been stolen he can't do that anymore. He can't drive to places while listening to his favorite bands to keep him sane, and he can't buy a replacement because he's running low on cash.
This sucks. A lot.
Joe looks out the window, watching an old man pass by with a leash in his hand for his dog.
That's going to be me someday.
The twenty-one year old begins to fiddle with his thumbs, unable to keep calm anymore. Thoughts are beginning to pop into his head and he can feel the world closing in on him.
Without music, he has to deal with his emotions.
Emotions.
Something Joe has never dealt with.
Being the youngest in the family means no one cares about your feelings, or at least that's how Joe saw it as. He'd rather suppress any memories and feelings just so he can feel normal.
But what is normal?
Joe shakes his head, shakily pulling out his phone from his front pocket. "Why-why-why is this happening to me now? Why of all times? Especially when I'm about to see my boyfriend?" he questions himself, completely frustrated.
Why aren't I stronger? Why are these thoughts eating me away? Why am I like this?
One thing's for sure, Joe liked it better when his car had sound.
As if Caspar can read minds, his name appears on Joe's phone. He struggles to swipe the 'answer' option and places it up to his ear. "H-hello?"
"Hi. I was wondering—whoa, are you okay?" Caspar asks curiously, immediately knowing that something was definitely not right here.
"No."
"What's wrong?"
Joe shuts his eyes, leaning his head back into the seat. "My...my car radio has been stolen." he murmurs ever so softly that he's lucky Caspar is used to this, if not, he would've repeated himself.
"Joe...are you kidding?! Why don't you report it?" he pauses, realization hitting him. "Are...are those thoughts coming back, JoJo?"
There is no comment, just a whimper.
"Shit, fuck, okay. Listen to me, Joseph. Take a deep breath. Let your mind relax." Caspar instructs, hoping this method would work. If they lived closer, he'd be next to Joe in a heartbeat. However, they lived an hour away from each other and it sucked.
Joe breathes in rather too quickly and begins to worry again. "Nonono, I can't, Caspar. I can't do it."
"Baby, please listen to me. You can do this, I believe in you. I know it's scary but everything will be alright. I'm here. I'm not leaving."
This time, Joe takes a slower deep breath and lets it out, re-opening his eyes. "Okay."
"Think about me. Think about us. Anything." Caspar begs. "How about that time we went to the beach with Zoe and Alfie? Alfie stepped on a crab by accident and do you remember the face he made? Holy shit, that was amazing."
Joe lets out a small giggle, remembering Alfie running away, trying his hardest to make the crab let go of his foot. "Y-yeah," he responds a second later. "he made everyone worry and my sister couldn't stop laughing. Neither could we though."
Caspar smiles. "What a great day that was."
"Indeed."
The two become silent and this makes Caspar worried.
"Thanks." Joe says quietly, looking down at his lap. "I needed this...I needed you, in fact."
"I'll always be here, I promised you since day one. You know what? Fuck it. I'm coming over so we can sort this car radio out. Just wait outside for me, okay?"
Joe sighs out of relief. "Thanks. I'll be waiting."
"I'll see your beautiful face soon, bye."
They hang up.
Joe is so grateful to have a boyfriend like Caspar.
He steps out of the vehicle, shutting the door behind him.
Maybe sitting in silence can have its perks...
A/N: THAT WAS SHORTER THAN I EXPECTED
thoughts???
do you like song fics?? or do you just prefer reg shots??? i'd like to know.
