On my own-lewis Hamilton

Chapter 23

The whole day was shit. I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I just wanted to be alone.

I can't believe dad had agreed to putting me on report. And hadn't even mentioned it once. I hate him so much right now.

"Em.." I hear a knock at my door. "Em.. can I come in?" I hear once more from my dad again.

"What do you want?" I sigh speaking through the door to him.

"Are you ok? You seem like you've had a bit of a rough day"

"Yeah I have and it's your fault!" I say in anger.

I sat there on my bed staring at the ceiling, feeling a mix of emotions. I feel like I can never talk to anyone and he's the one person I can, but he's gone and done that. I feel like everyone's against me.

"Em.. please just walk to me." Dad says as he opens the door and stands at the entrance of my room.

"You know what you've done" I spit out angrily "you've put me on report. You agreed to it." I say trying not to even look at him.

"You're meant to be on my side not the schools!" I shout at him as I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Emma I am on your side I promise." He says whilst sighing. "But your behaving has been deteriorating. And I can't just ignore that your behaviour has changed. You've been acting out a lot lately and it's not like you.

"Well maybe that's because I have a lot of shit going on in my life! But you wouldn't know because you never bother to ask!" I scream at him in anger. As I wipe my tears coming down my face.

"Emma, you know you can always talk to me about anything. I just want you to be ok." He says with a guilty voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to take it out on you." I say feeling bad. He was trying his best but he didn't get it. He had never been in my shoes and never will be.

"It's ok princess." He says whilst walking over and bringing me into a long tight hug. "Come on, talk to me." He says in a quiet soft voice.

"Everything just feels overwhelming. The pressure that I have to be perfect and live up to the standards everyone wants of me. And the way everyone portrays me online. Everyone judging me all the time, commenting about me, everyone just comparing me to you, even though I'm not you. People making comments at school even though they know nothing about me. Teachers constantly thinking I'm trouble." I say whilst breaking down.

"The pressure to be perfect." I say while wiping the tears off of my face.

"The pressure to be the perfect daughter"

I look up at him as he looks shocked. He looks hopeless like he wants to help me but he's unsure how.

"You are perfect princess, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He says whilst giving me a small kiss on my head. He holds me tight into his chest with his arms closely wrapped round me.

"I promise you, I'm on your side I really am. But this report is to help you prove to yourself and everyone else that you can do it. You can get back on track."

"I will try I promise" I say quietly while giving him a small smile.

"That's all I ask, I just want my happy girl back again"

"I swear secondary school just ruins every girl. Everyone just chats shit about each other"

"Just ignore them sweetheart" he says

""I will I promise, I promise to do better from now on. I really do" I say hoping he will believe me.

"I know you do. Now let's go make dinner together." He says as we walk out of my room and down to the kitchen.