Drawn To You (GirlxGirl)

Part 39

Allie's P.O.V

"Welcome to your final year, everyone," the lecturer announced from the front of the large lecture hall.

His voice boomed through the room, carrying a mix of authority and familiarity. "This year is going to be intense, but also incredibly rewarding if you stay on top of your workload."

He was tall, with short, silver hair that matched his neatly trimmed beard. He wore glasses with thick, dark frames that made him look a little more serious than he probably was, and his tweed blazer and navy trousers gave him that typical academic look.

I tried to focus, but my mind was still tangled from the sleepless night I'd had. I hadn't drifted off until around 4:30 in the morning, and my alarm had rudely gone off at 7. Barely three hours of sleep, and it showed. After forcing myself out of bed, I'd spent longer than usual trying to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. I still looked tired, but at least I didn't look like I'd been crying all night.

When I walked into the kitchen this morning, Casey had been waiting there, half-asleep in her pyjamas, hair a wild mess. She held out a travel mug of coffee.

"Instructions from Lola," she had mumbled through a yawn, making me laugh for the first time in what felt like days.

My friends were always there for me when I needed them most, and I was beyond grateful for that. Casey had even offered to drive me to uni, but I declined. I thought the walk might help clear my head.

But here I was, sitting in the same lecture hall I hadn't seen since last semester, surrounded by familiar faces, trying desperately to concentrate on the lecturer's words. He was going on about the modules we'd be covering this year—our last year—but my mind kept wandering. Back to Mark. To the kiss. To Jessie.

I glanced down at my phone, sitting face-up on the desk in front of me. Her name was on the screen, a message I hadn't opened yet. I sighed quietly, trying to push the guilt away long enough to focus on the lecture.

But I couldn't ignore Jessie any longer. She didn't deserve that. My finger hovered over her message, and before I knew it, I clicked it open.

'Hey superstar, just wanted to say good luck on your first day back. One year to go! You've got this x.'

Her words were so sweet, so thoughtful—just like her. My chest tightened, and I had to blink back the tears threatening to fall again. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of the mess I was dragging her into. But the more I thought about it, the worse it got.

"So, does anyone have any questions?" the lecturer's voice snapped me back to the present, making me sit up straighter.

I pretended I'd been listening the whole time, even though my notepad was still blank. No one raised their hand, and moments later, he dismissed the class.

I slowly packed up my things, feeling like I'd barely taken in anything. The notepad was still practically unused. I glanced at the clock on the wall—ten minutes until my next class. I pulled my phone out of my pocket again and stared at Jessie's message. I couldn't leave her waiting for a response any longer.

Slowly, I typed out a reply, feeling like the worst person in the world.

'Thank you' was all I could manage.

I stared at the screen, hating how simple and cold it felt. How could I pretend everything was fine when everything was so far from fine? But I didn't know what else to say, so I quickly pressed send and shoved my phone back into my pocket.

The rest of the day dragged on in much the same way. I made a few notes here and there in my next classes, but most of it was just me going through the motions, trying to appear like I had it together when, really, my mind was a mess.

'At least I made some notes' I told myself. 'That's something, right?'

By the time I was done for the day, I could barely keep my eyes open. The thought of collapsing into bed and catching up on sleep was the only thing keeping me going. I walked quickly back to Casey's place, wanting nothing more than to shut the world out for a while.

As soon as I stepped through the door, I was hit with the smell of food and the sound of clattering plates in the kitchen.

"Hey, you're home!" Casey called out with a smile. "I made dinner. You hungry?"

I let my rucksack slide off my shoulder and slumped into a chair at the dining table.

"Thanks," I said quietly, even though my stomach was in knots, and I didn't feel hungry at all. Still, I didn't want to be ungrateful.

Casey placed a plate of lasagne in front of me, and I forced myself to pick up the fork. I fiddled with it for a moment before taking a small bite. The food tasted fine, but I could barely focus on eating.

"So, how was your first day back?" Casey asked, sitting across from me.

I stared at my plate, letting out a heavy sigh. "Fine, I guess. But I couldn't really concentrate."

Casey nodded, trying to offer some comfort. "The first day back is always a bit shit. Tomorrow will be better."

She was trying to be optimistic, and I appreciated it, but I could tell from the way she kept glancing at me that she wanted to ask about everything else—the situation with Mark, with Jessie. But she held back, letting me keep my silence.

I forced myself to eat a little more before helping Casey clear up.

"I think I'm going to get an early night," I said, giving her a small smile as I headed toward the spare room.

Once I was in my pyjamas, I collapsed into bed, hoping for sleep to come quickly. Just as I was turning over, my phone pinged and my eyes shot open.

'It's probably Jessie' I thought, that same feeling of guilt washing through me as I thought about her texting to ask how my first day went.

But when I picked up my phone, it wasn't Jessie's name I saw. It was Marks.

'Hey, how did the first day go?'

I stared at the message in disbelief. Mark never asked about my day, let alone my studies. He'd never cared about things like that when we were together. And now, out of nowhere, here he was, checking in like a completely different person.

I considered ignoring it, forcing myself to sleep. But something made it impossible to leave the message unanswered. Was it the history? The fact that he was suddenly everything I'd always wanted him to be?
I didn't know. But I replied anyway.

'It was fine, thanks.'

That was all I gave him. I couldn't offer him more, not when I was still so cautious about everything that had happened.

His response came quickly.

'That's good. Listen, I'd like to take you out for a coffee to say good luck for the year. No pressure, just a casual coffee. I was thinking Friday after your last class?'

I sat up in bed, too shocked to lie down again. Mark, asking me out for coffee? It didn't feel real. What could I say? What did I even want to say?

I didn't know. But my fingers hovered over the screen, slowly typing a response...