Whims of a Quiet Dreamer

Chapter 5: A Step into the Unknown

The days passed in a haze of rejections and fruitless searches. Sithu had scoured every job listing she could find, but no vacancies for library jobs appeared. Every library she contacted had the same response: no openings. With each closed door, a sense of dread settled deeper into her chest. The library had been her world—a place of quiet refuge, where the rhythm of shelving books and the comfort of being surrounded by stories made sense. But now, that world was slipping further and further away.

Sithu sat at her kitchen table once more, staring at her laptop screen, feeling as though the walls were closing in. She had been so hopeful when she'd first started looking, thinking there might be another library out there that would feel like home. But nothing came. The silence of her inbox felt heavy, each passing hour without a response tugging at her nerves.

Out of desperation, she expanded her search. She applied for two positions at nearby schools—teaching assistant jobs that were far from what she wanted but at least offered the stability of income. She felt strange submitting her résumé, but she needed something. She just had to make it through.

A few days later, the first rejection arrived. The message was polite but stung all the same. "Thank you for your application, but we've decided to move forward with another candidate."

Sithu felt her chest tighten as she read through the email. Another door closed. But what hurt more were the reasons. The interview had been uncomfortable—she had stumbled over her words, struggled to meet the interviewer's eyes. She knew she came off as awkward, and now it seemed that had cost her the job.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. Making eye contact, speaking with confidence—it all felt so unnatural to her, but the world demanded it anyway. No one seemed to understand how exhausting it was to simply exist in a space where those things were expected.

Then, out of nowhere, an email from the second school arrived.

"We'd like to offer you a chance."

Her heart skipped a beat as she reread the message, disbelief washing over her. She wasn't sure why they had chosen her. Maybe it was pity. Maybe they were just desperate. Either way, they were giving her a shot.

But instead of relief, a new kind of fear settled in her stomach. Uncertainty loomed large—how would she manage this? The idea of working with children, navigating the busy, noisy halls of a school, filled her with dread. She had no idea how she was going to cope, but she couldn't turn down the opportunity. She needed the job, even if it scared her.

She stared at the acceptance email for a long time, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. It wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't the quiet life she had imagined. But it was something, and right now, that had to be enough.

Finally, she took a deep breath and replied, accepting the offer.

As she sat back in her chair, her mind raced with worry. What if she failed? What if she wasn't good enough for this? But the thought of disappointing her parents, of continuing without work, weighed heavier than her fear.

The uncertainty gnawed at her, but there was no turning back now. She would have to face whatever came next, whether she was ready for it or not.