Whims of a Quiet Dreamer

Chapter 3: The End of the Quiet

The train rattled beneath Sithu's feet, a constant reminder of the noisy world outside her little bubble. She sat near the window, staring out at the blur of buildings and streets that flew by, headphones in, trying to block out the chatter and movement around her. The train was always busy at this hour, and the closeness of strangers, their voices, the buzz of their phones—it all pressed in on her like a weight she couldn't quite shake. She hated it.

Getting to the library felt like a journey through chaos. She didn't drive—never had. The idea of being behind the wheel, controlling a vehicle, made her feel anxious. So, the train was her only option, even though it overwhelmed her. Each morning and evening, she stepped into a space where her thoughts were drowned by the noise of the city, a world she felt increasingly disconnected from.

But once she arrived at the library, everything shifted. There, among the quiet aisles of books, she found her peace again. Her routine, while simple, was comforting. Sorting through returned novels, reading passages while shelving them away, helping the occasional visitor—it was a job she had grown to love. The library had always been her sanctuary, a place where stories ruled and the outside world seemed far away.

Today, however, felt different. There was a tension in the air, an uneasiness she couldn't quite place. Her supervisor called her into the back office just before lunch. The look on his face told her everything before he even opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Sithu. Budget cuts," he explained softly, though the words echoed in her mind like a punch. "We have to let you go."

She sat in stunned silence, her world suddenly off-balance. She had never been one to fight or argue, so she nodded, numb, while he explained severance pay and formalities. It all blurred together.

By the time she left the library, it felt like she was moving through a fog. The place she had thought of as a second home was no longer hers, and the quiet sanctuary she'd relied on was slipping through her fingers. She caught the train home in a daze, the noise and bustle pressing in more than ever. She barely heard it.

Once home, the reality hit her hard. She collapsed on her bed, the tears coming fast, an overwhelming sense of loss curling around her. She reached for her phone with trembling fingers and dialed Jaren's number.

It didn't take long for him to answer. "Sithu?" His voice was warm, familiar, a lifeline in the chaos of her thoughts.

"I—I lost my job," she choked out, her voice breaking. "I don't know what to do..."

There was a pause, the kind where you knew the other person was trying to find the right words. "I'm so sorry, Sithu," Jaren said gently. "I know how much you loved that place. But we'll figure something out, okay? You're going to get through this."

His words were kind, but they couldn't fill the hollow ache that had settled in her chest. "I just... I wish I was a kid again. None of this would matter then," she whispered. "No job, no worries... I could just be."

Jaren's soft chuckle drifted through the phone. "I know. But you're still you, Sithu. You've always lived by your own rules, and you can keep doing that. We'll find something that fits you better."

She sniffed, wiping away tears with the back of her hand. "What if I can't find anything? What if I'm stuck?"

"You're not stuck. I'll help you figure it out. You're not alone in this, okay?"

His voice was steady, comforting. And in that moment, Sithu let herself believe him, if only for a while. The tears slowed, her breathing evened out, and though the uncertainty still gnawed at her, she knew Jaren was right. She wasn't completely alone.

But as she hung up the phone, her mind wandered back to that fleeting wish—to return to the simplicity of childhood, where the world wasn't so overwhelming, where responsibilities didn't loom so large. Yet, no matter how much she wished it, the truth remained. She was an adult now, and tomorrow, she would have to face the world again. But how? She wasn't sure.

For now, all she could do was sit in the quiet of her apartment and let the weight of her new reality sink in.